Your words bounce around my skull in the silence of night.
Headphones, music, full volume just to try to drown them out.
Even when it's so loud that my brain pulses to the rhythm of the bass, your words linger; plague.
Platitudes and half excuses for the things you didn't do.
Always trying to shift the blame that you placed on you.
I have no need to place blame, I forgave your failings, like any who loves another would do.
I listened to the words that poured from your mouth, as you spewed hatred for the love of my life.
For years I spoke kindly and made allowances for trauma that triggered my own, yet you could never see that I was right there; standing in your corner.
Years and still you haven't learned; Self-blame can't be shifted and doesn't go away...
Until you figure out why you hate yourself and see that loving is the better way.