I always put everyone else first
Sacrificing my own wants and desires
But for one night
I was selfish
I got what I have wanted for months
Though it’s something many believe I hate
I have desired it for months now
Only with one
Not with anyone else
No matter what others want me to do
To them
With them
None of them
Have stirred this thing within me
Just that one
Now that I have had a taste of what I wanted
I don’t know if I can stay
Here where my desires and whims
Are contained to just one
But not that one
Another of a different feather
Who wishes to cage me
Within their sweet words and pretty promises
Yet I still wish I could be as free
As I was that night
When I was as selfish as I dared
Doing as I pleased
As he pleased
We both were pleased
Whether it was due to the alcohol
Or poor choices
I don’t regret it
Like I do all of those other encounters
These bruises don’t make me shy away
I don’t try to hide them
The whole world can see them for all I care
I put myself first for once
And it didn’t leave me covered in scars

He speaks with an edge
Calls himself evil things
Tries to hold himself to them
But then he touches you
These simple gestures hold
An unspoken gentleness
One he keeps hidden from view
But with his arms around you
You can feel that there is a sweeter side
Those dark eyes that pierce you
Have such untouched depth
That you want to sit and talk for hours
If it means that you can see
His emotions play across those eyes
A simple gesture
Of not removing your head from his shoulder
Brings you great joy
His persona would have been mean about it
But he just smiles and carries on
Early in the morning
When you both think the other is asleep
His arms stay around you
Never wavering
Those calloused fingers
Trace careful circles along your side
Something so hard shouldn’t be so sincere
The moment his arms pull you closer to him
As his breath stays steady
Your heart sores at his warm embrace
But the sweetest of moments
Is that of his strong hand
Gently tipping your chin up
To let his subtle lips meet yours
Shrouded in hazy morning light
His lips lighting every inch of you on fire
Those sensations so foreign to you
But make you want to travel
To every place they speak of