My heart was pounding
Why was I so nervous?
Why was I so scared?
It's just you.
The friend I held so close,
loved so dear.
The one I miss the most
I can't even tell why my heart was pounding
Excitement?
Paranoia?
.... longing?....
I don't even know
Part of me doesn't even want to
But maybe its because...
We just aren't as close as we were
When you.... did what you did
Made that choice...
Everything changed..
Everything from you...
Felt so... different
More distant
Even before that you were becoming more distant.
When everything had to go through him...
You stopped being close
At least... it felt like it
I felt like I was put second to everything...
And I still do sometimes
You go behind his back for me
But.. for how long?
I was so happy when we talked.. i was
Because I miss you so much
But I had so much in my head...
I couldn't think of what to say.
Because I don't know how to say it anymore...
I'm still that same boy you held so dear
I'm just....
Very closed off now