I didn’t think it would happen again
it slithered out of its hiding place
back into the curvature of my palm
and with it came the ****** calm

I didn’t expect myself to return
to the fetal position of decay
my soul was improving so well
for such a quick descent into hell

I didn’t know my thoughts continued
to darken my veins from blue to red
since I sought a cleaning crew to
mop up the shame thoroughly through

I didn’t want to have to hide again
to wrap and nurse and lie
this time is different, this time I take leisure
i deserve the slow, deliberate fissures