~

Somber waves flood charcoal skies
This morn does fell my day
Misty forms in shadowed dreams,
an ominous display

Chilled, the breeze now grips my face
as moisture coats my skin
Shivers at their highest reach
call out to me again

Willow branches bend in shame,
sorrow feeds the ground
Leaves in silhouette now trace
confusion all around

Clouds a’ gathered blackened roof
A blanket at the sun
Pointing towards a northern point
Alas my world is done

When there, along horizon’s stare
I sense the faintest smile
Of auburn charm and beauty share
To linger here a while

As ashen skies now seem to part
This pain of longest dread
Depression cast upon my heart
Now heals in scars I shed

To breathe again, this morning free
A smile upon my face
Consume this feeling calling me
No more in fractured lace

So long I’ve hidden in the past
Awaiting only dying
Yet now with this affection cast
In new found truth I’m trying

As now I stand neath skies of blue
Bright sunshine up above
Gazing at the sight of you
Alas my world is love

some days

some days i wake up
feeling warm and lovely and happy
feeling whole and right in who i am and what i appear to be

some days i go to bed
barely holding my eyes open against the weight of dreams
barely staying in reality a moment longer

some days i want to create
a dream of imagines on paper
and spill the ink of my mind out onto the world,
eagerly showing the creations of my mind and what excites me as far as
what i can imagine and bring out of the ethereal into the only slightly more tangible inner chambers of my mind palace

other days
i want to destroy
to tear, end to end, the world i have created in my mind and every piece of it i have brought into existence
to shred myself to pieces to rid the universe of such and inadequate creature as myself who dares feel more comfortable as a fluid being, more free to explore and weave in and out of the norms set by society

and then i fall, weak and hollow, to my knees,
full of life and brightness that has been pressed to aside by the gaping holes of heaving singularities within my gut and soul
and i feel dark
and wrong
and numb

but then every so often i get a spark of light in the inky dark of me

and it flutters close

circling my form slowly and giving out the slightest bit of light and warmth

sometimes this first Good Thought or Good Feeling will be crushed
snatched from the air in the claws of a demonic and wild gargoyle

but even so, one by one the light spots will gently blanket the gargoyles,
forcing them to lie in wait once more

for who can fight the gentle persistence of a butterfly