I'm sorry Hello Poetry,
For being as pathetic as I am.
You see, I've often heard the quote that goes something like-
-'Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.--
But I feel like I keep loving and loving and loving
And even though I keep losing and losing and losing
I still keep loving and loving and loving
And it aches me, 'cause do they even miss my love?
The love that comes from every good atom of my existence,
The love I try so hard and hard to keep pure, to keep real, to keep lit!
Do they miss it?
So I'm sorry for being pathetic,
For not wanting to accept that loneliness might just be meant for me,
For not having anymore love to give anyone.
They'll just take it away and move on,
And leave me as is, pathetic as ever,
So what's the point even?

-fir.m

anxiety is like my shadow: it's hard to get rid of, especially when it's bright outside.
but you see, just like the brightness, it always comes back.
always lingering. always ******* lingering.
lingering when i talk to people on the phone, lingering when i'm at the store, at a restaurant, at school, at, at home, in my own head.
i can't get rid of the shaking.
i can't get rid of the sobbing late at night because i think something horrendous is going to happen.
i can't get rid of the urge to get out of my own head.
i can't get rid of the constant feeling of worthlessness that has made a permanent home in my brain, in my bones, in my skin.
it's everywhere.
everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere.
maybe i can get rid of it. maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe.
pills, they say.
therapy, they say.
mental hospital.
pills. pills. pills. pills. pills. pills. pills. therapy. therapy. therapy. therapy. mental hospital mental hospital.
just cope.
just breathe. just breathe. just breathe.
just calm down. just calm the **** down. calm down. calm down. calm the hell down.
please leave. please leave. please leave. please leave. please leave.
please.