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B Chapman Dec 2017
Poverty levels are miles above me.
Haven't eaten for days,
but the child's tummy is happy.
That's all that really matters, right?

Stolen vehicles and slinging to get by,
selling myself and losing my mind
an inch at a time.
But, I'm clean in too many ways.

Greed and snapping jaws trained at me.
Every angle of escape blocked,
this is my Destiny.
I chose the wrong hearts to trust.

I gave a mile.
I lost it all.
Though I want to give up,
I just can't afford to blow.

I'll feign strength and plastered
     happiness.
Block it all like I've done in the past.
One day I'll be blessed with death,
and I'll rejoice in the simple
     emptiness.
Why?
How can I feel this way?
I feel myself
Losing you
Pushing you away
Purposely
Like, just talking to you
Is torturing me
Yet, I need you
WHAT THE **** DO I DO?
I don't wanna hurt anymore
I want the pain to go away
I don't know what I'm living for
I don't know how I got this way
How do I say
THIS IS TOO MUCH TO TAKE
To handle
To deal with
Torn, ripped in directions
I never thought existed
Expectations
Non granted wishes
ALL FOR NOTHING
Cause I'm still broken
Not even worth fixing

But you
You're worth so much more
None of the guilt
None of the shame
Is worth anything
**** IT ALL
Just forget my name

— The End —