Sometimes I feel afraid.

It's a childish thing at my age:
To fear darkness, emptiness, or blade
Or to cry over life's turning of a page.

Yet, here I am: tears wet my cheeks.
Here I am: I cannot sleep.

I mourn over lost days, months, and weeks
And with foolish faith I hide in blankets deep.

But growing up leaves blankets a poor comfort in the dark.
No "Teddy Dear" could ever hold all the sorrows in my heart.
No nightlight as a beacon; no candle, fire, or spark
No Mummy and Daddy to come and rend my fears apart.

I am alone tonight, and this knowledge cuts me deep.
I must face my fears at last and trust the Lord my soul to keep.

For if the lights do not go out, and darkness is never ours
We would never know the wonder of a sky full of stars.

Is it not curious
How when the world showers down upon us
Some call it rain
While others call it wrath?
How a simple split-second shift of perception
Throws us from the beaten path?
While some would recoil from a lowly bee sting
Others would rejoice for it welcomes the Spring
Fellow traveler
Though the world is not your oyster
Do not let that fact confine yourself to a cloister
Within your mind
Fears are so easy to discover
But fear is as fragile as it is frequent
For with time it takes to travel
Life brings opportunity
For the darkness to unravel
So seize it
And from your mind's deep dark chasm of caution
You will hover
For it is within the hearts of all travellers
The will to face everything and recover

I've counted them all,
five in total.
Five hundred perhaps five million more after that.
I've counted them to get them solid...
Solid for to eat them up. Line them up like peas on a spoon.
I've run from them.
Fast, and my feet burns underneath.
I've run to India.
I've run to Mars.
They key to outrunning is not to look
back.
There, I just did.

I've colored them with periwinkle and yellow moon-glow crayons.
So carefully in the lines, I stayed.
Bright cheerful hues
to banish out the dark.
(You can't color out the dark.)
Oh, I've faced them,
****** foolish.
Face them, they'll multiply.
like a drop of water expanding
into a bucket of water
into a creek of water
into a river of water
into a monsoon.
Face them and you give them life.
Now you'll know they're real.
Now you'll know
that it holds hands
with
what can be.
Slick and satisfied, devouring mirth.
On it's back I climb stealthy-
ride it like a crocodile,
it can't lick you way up there
satisfied smile...
Oh, lover lover,
You can't bite what you can't reach.




sahn 10.11.14