I don't know the word "happiness"

Yes i do laugh even on small things

But i often ask myself

"Am i really happy?"

I never saw you as my lover

I only saw as my friend

Then i fell, at the wrong time

For there you are now, happily in love with someone else

Why am i so stupid?

I ignored your love

Your efforts

I ignored you

Now you're gone

And here i am wishing

Wishing that i'm still the one

But my wish won't be granted anymore

Because you're now happy with someone else

You have me

But his heart is what i want

His heart who loves someone else

His heart that i can't have

His heart who's in love with someone he can't have

You insisted, i didn't have a choice

You chose your pain

You chose me

You are willing to take his place that's why you have me

And i know that you're hurting

But with your touch, i melt

With your kiss, i surrender

With you i forget that i love my best friend

With you, i fall

I don't want to fall any deeper

Let's end this

I don't want you hurting no more

I don't deserve you

I'm not a princess who deserves a prince like you

I'm just someone who loves someone that can't love me back

I love you

I never got to kiss you

Hold you

See you

But my heart belongs to you and only you

And i wish you felt the same

But you never felt the same

You said you love me

But your heart was trying to reach for someone you can't have

You were mine

But not really

Because i'm not the one you love

And will never be that someone

Happy anniversary

We didn't make it

Here i am, celebrating the event alone

With a glass of wine, i ask myself

Will i ever get to call you mine again?

Happy anniversary

There you are happy with someone else

Here i am crying for someone i still love

Crying for you

Shouting your name and saying that i need you

Where are you?

Happy anniversary

We didn't make it

Maybe one year is enough for me to realise that you're never coming back

Maybe one year is enough for me to realise that i'll never get to call you mine again

Happy anniversary

I don't want to do this

It would hurt me more than how hurt i am right now

But it's time to finally move on

Happy anniversary

I'm finally letting you go

"Expect me to be there when times get rough" you said

Now tell me

Why am i alone?

Suffering pain

Tears running down my face

Screaming internally

Where is everybody?

Where are you?

You left me too, just like how everyone left me

I never should've trusted you

Now i'm suffering

Alone once more

I have found my lost smile

Thought it would last long, but it didn't

It was quickly replaced with pain, tears, and added a heart break on my already broken heart

I am alone once more

Screaming internally

"Where the **** is everybody?"

My world was already broken even before i met you

You fixed it

Then you broke it

You left me too

You let go

I didn't have someone to lean on

Just you

I only have you

But you left me

And held someone else's hands

With the walls in my heart

I complain

I often ask myself

Why?

Why am i always alone?

Why does no one one appreciates me

When will i be enough

When can i smile a true smile

When can i take off my mask?

Because of this wall, people who loves me can't show how much they appreciate me

Behind the wall in my heart, people who loves me are shouting the things i badly want to hear

But i often don't believe them

I'm sorry

Anger, Pain , and my demon

Is taking over me

I received too much pain

I was alone for too long

So i'm sorry for i can't trust and let people in

For i know you would only leave in the end

Just like what everyone else did

We have many things in common

I talk to you when i'm down

You understand me

And i hate myself for that

I can't help but fall for you

So here i am

Hoping that you feel the same

Why am i so stupid?

Why do i keep hoping?

When clearly

You're not into girls

I love the way you understand me

I love the way you make me feel loved

But i know

I can never have you

You make me feel loved

But you can't love me

I know

I'm sorry for falling

Please don't hate me

But

This is the real me

I fall in love with the same ***

I'm attracted to girls

And i can say that

You're not just a girl

You have something that they don't have

You make me feel things i shouldn't feel

You often make my heart race

But these words are useless

You make me feel loved

But you can't love me

You're not into girls

I'm sorry to those who really cares for me

Sorry for i'm blind thinking that no one cares about me

Maybe because no one cared for me for so long that it came to the point i can't see what's real from not, anymore

But please don't give up on me

Don't leave me

Stay with me, will you?

Hold me and make me believe once more

That in this world, i am not alone