21 November 2012 *

We see it fallin' down like an old tower
Took it for granted, all b'yond our power
We never saved it, thought t’was b'yond repair
But the next things took us unprepared

I want to begin again, despite the worry
By sayin', I’m wholeheartedly sorry
For bein’ so coward and disdain
I know it costed you so much pain

I want to begin again, as long as it takes
By acknowledgin' these simple mistakes
And hope you’d forgive 'n' forget
These faults are mine alone to regret

I want to begin again, after all
Like the first time we met last Fall
T’was fated, but still feels surreal
T’is heart— hope will mend ‘n’ heal

I want to begin again, like this
When we have no one to diss
Like the last time we met in the house
When all the anger ‘n’ aches arouse

I want to begin again, without a clue
By bein' honest, simple, and true
B’cause they don’t know about us
Our nightmares turn from dreams to dusts

My lips tell it’s no joke to me
Take a look into my eyes and you’ll see
Can we do it all over again, minus the pain?
B’cause I just want us to begin again

4 February 2014*

Every day, I stood b'fore this path of concrete
I walk miles and miles away in discreet
The pain— I drag all along the way
It doesn’t matter if I am not okay

Sometimes, the wind would assault me
Some other times, the rain takes its toll
Day and night, I leave them be
It’s always same, , I got to roll

This is a two-way street: I’m tryin’ to find you
You— tryin’ to hide. The sky has never been so blue
As it turns silver ‘n’ black like bruises in your arms
You never told me, love like poison harms

I lift my head and gaze at the distance
Turn back, to the track I cover at that instance
My mind wants one more step, never give up
My heart stops, be content, I’ve done enough

I look up to see the stars glowin' like big eyes
Watchin’ over me, listenin’ to my dead cries
Your silent treatments I cannot withstand
How I wish, things were different in my hand

But I’m no longer holdin' on to those days
I never had a chance b'fore I can
This highway is long, a windin' abyss
I’m caught in despair like a lonely man

12 March 2014*

You didn’t just jumped off from—
That building like some falling debris
You were a piece of a bigger puzzle,
That needs to be solved
Cordoned by the yellow line
Bathed in redness of sorrow
I keep lookin’, I keep askin’
But you closed your eyes
And forever vowed for silence

We are our plates ‘n’ glasses
At some point, we’re gonna break
Into a thousand bits ‘n’ pieces of—
What we’re made, the little things
Unreasonably brittle ‘n’ razor sharp
So when they collect us, pull us together
It hurts, pain cuts through the insides
Bleeding like old wounds
Left untreated ‘n’ cared for

You’re a fallen star, so distant ‘n’ cold
You should’ve talked to me,
I would’ve listened anyways.
But you chose not to–
I can only guess from the signs,
You’ve left me my friend.
Don’t you worry, the universe
Conspires with me and together
We will solve the mystery
Of your short life.

I feel you, every time I pass this place
I remember how you draped the road
Your pale arm peekin' under the white cloth
The rain may have washed,
The footprints that bore your mark
But in my mem’ry, I see you—
Crystal clear from the first light of the day
Inside the eye of the storm
Trapped. Never to get out

Stars fall every day, we just don’t see it
The light is too intense, for our eyes
But it doesn’t matter, maybe
Its time has come to inspire
A hopeless man that I’ve become
I find it hard to accept
Every night when I close my eyes
That my courage has to come
From shooting stars ‘n’ falling objects

14 March 2014*

There are nights when I find,
Myself alone under your grace
Your presence carved
In my surroundings
I’m lost again.
Why do I never learn?
When you always
Show me the way

Nothing is dark enough
At this night with you
I can’t be afraid
Up there, you’re just
Watching me over
Until the first light
Of dawn rises
Inside of me

This journey along
The dark and long night
Sail through the sea
Of charcoal clouds and
Fish for the stars
Anchor in the moon
And just like that–
Awed by the mixture
Of dreams and nightmares
The beauty of contrast
Of beautiful and grim
The two sides
Of the story

Short days and
The nights are long.
We found each other's
Company.
Loneliness, let’s not—
Put it in the heart.
You’re not alone,
Hold my hand as you
Guide me to safety.
You’re my direction
My north star
Polaris

15 March 2014*

Right from the start,
Our fates had been drawn.
You and me—
Like magnets
Of the same pole
Never to attract
As one.

We will always
Repel each other
No matter how hard
We try, we just don’t
Get along together
And in every passing
Of time, our universe
Widens, guarded
By a force field
That does not know
About love

We are stronger,
Than the things that—
Hinder our cause.
We don’t blame,
Ourselves.
Our nature or
What we’re made of—
The fault does not,
Lie within us.
It’s in our stars,
Written before
We’re even born

You may choose
To follow the path
Laid and foretold by
Constellations,
Broken bones and fire
Slipping through
Our cracks
Or make your own
From sticks ‘n’ stones

But I—
I am ready to fall
Fit into your trap
Win or loose
Dead or alive
I’ll do what it takes
To be with you
Forever and a day
I love you, even we’re—
Thwarted by bad luck
I don’t mind us, being
Star crossed lovers

14 April 2014*

Last night, you stayed with me
You listened to my thoughts
As I looked deep into your eyes
I tried to understand
What you feel.

I gave myself to you
We consumed what we can
But you're huge ‘n’ high as the stars
Implodin' inside my head
I’m not good enough for you.

In the morning, you left
Faded like those stars last night
Not a trace of love
Not a strand of hair
Not a kiss mark on my neck.
All the light shattered
On the windows
Blinded by love
In the shadows

I left my bed, the way it is
Look at you in the picture frame
Kiss you long ‘n’ close enough
But only cold glass met my lips
I wipe my tears,
B’fore they dry
Never knowin’ if I can
See you again
This evening
Or if last night
Was the last

14 April 2014*

Love is love.
*** is ***.
Don't be confused.

14 April 2014*

On quiet mornings like this
The fog withdraws b'fore the dogs brawl
The shroud of despair covers me
Like last night's cold sheet
All over us, like some unseen wall
Wherein we cannot hear each other
You don’t talk to me–
You no longer do.
I wish, I would know why
I wish, you would say somethin'

I miss you, like that—
The sun, exploding b’fore
Raybans and endless blue sky
At sunflower fields where
We play hide ‘n’ seek
You flash a smile at me,
Like how the sunflowers—
Follow the sun
All through the day
‘til it got away.

I was just a wayfarin' stranger,
B’fore I was your summer love.
I was out of your plans,
You didn’t see me comin'.
I was not part of the symmetry—
The Fibonacci sequence
That runs in your blood
In your hair, in your skin,
In your heart.

I am just a distraction—
In the morning, you will see
The light, guidin' you
Some orbit, holdin' you in place
'til you complete a cycle
Of your seasonal journey;
Prized seeds of youthful aspirations

You will wilt, soon enough
And close your eyes
After the crows devour
On your dreams—
Nightmares that fed,
On exotic seeds.
But I am here, guardin’ you
Will scare them ‘til they—
Fly away ‘n’ never come back,
Like this once summer
We all ever have.
For our love ‘n’ happiness
Only grown in sunflower fields

15 April 2014*

Sometimes, I want to push you
To the edge, past your breakin' point
See what happens afterwards
How can you handle yourself?
Put you in a lot of stress
Strain your spirit
Consume your love
No matter what’s
Little left inside

I’m raw 'n' ruthless—
I’m gonna burn you down
‘til all your ashes flitter up
And settle on a damp
Ground, to kiss my feet
And cleanse my soul.
I have wronged you,
I can never be forgiven.
I have broken a promise,
But it’s not made to be—
It was already broken,
Long b’fore t’was made.

I can love you better,
Than I will ever be—
But my mistakes already
Caught fire, spreadin’
Like wildfire, unstoppable.
Destroyin’ everythin’
That’s comin’ its way
Slowly, your water
Is softly killin’ me
Yet I don’t care at all
I’m dying, losin’ my fire
You’re tryin’ to save me
But you can’t—
B’cause I am fire
And you are water
We can love each other,
But we can never be together.

You know the drill,
When you hear that sound.
You have to do what’s right
Or I will lose you and
Everythin’ that we can ever be.
I cannot live on ashes of regret,
This love I can never forget.
Keep the red button of my shirt,
The sign of my undyin’ love.
So when the time comes,
That you have to choose
Between me and them—
Don’t worry, I’ll be fine
Just hold me in your arms
And push the fire alarm

15 April 2014

In a few hours, we will
Grow apart from each other.
I will never see you again
But maybe, you will see me.
Passin’ along the way,
Never knowin’ who you are.
But for now—
Let me miss you,
Just until I don’t.

It’s rather a strange time
When we met, I was down
Broken into bits ‘n’ pieces
Of the universe and her.
But you seemed to care
About me ‘n’ liked
My flaws and everythin’
In between my legs.

On the other hand,
I still couldn’t find anythin’
That I don’t like
About her.
In fact, I believed—
That we are the mundane,
Jack and Rose
In this lifetime
A hundred and two years later
And countin’, still…

But you—
You are different from her,
Like how the silence
Would fill the war room.
There’s no tinge of uneasiness to it
Our breaths cadence with each other
Our hands found their ways
To remove the cloths that bound us
Our lips meet in utter urgency
It was comforting.
Somethin’ inside you
Made me safe
To anchor my ship
And dock in your harbour
As the storm ravages
Everythin’ that’s left
Of the universe and her, and I

Every morning, I try to
Figure out what went wrong.
But “nothin’” was all—
She could ever say to me
I was hopin’ she’d say
That I messed up, that
We couldn’t be what we are b’fore
Or there wasn’t much—
To talk about anymore,
Anythin’, but nothin’
Really at all.

The silence is dreadful,
I no longer felt safe.
The comfort of havin’ her,
Was replaced with—
Great amount of uneasiness.
I was hurt and felt—
Unwanted.
Lately, it’s hard to see her
With strangers around
Who’s a thousandfold
Interestin’ than me.
But it’s harder to see her,
In ethereal happiness with them.

Maybe the universe wants
Me to love you and forget her,
But I miss her and I love her
Probably too much—
That I still wear my heart on my sleeve.
You— you’re just a loose change
Of everythin’ that we’ve through.
Here’s two cents of my thoughts:
You can have me,
But you can never love me.
The universe and her, and I—
We are the mundane,
Jack and Rose*
After all…