9/8/14
with a toothbrush jammed down my throat,
i wonder what it feels like to touch your hand.
i wonder if you'd do that for me
just for these times, i promise

on the bus i placed my hand beside me
and waited exactly 3 minutes.
i wished something would happen.
after that, i realized.

my stomach, as if it were on fire,
i wonder why i did this.
which part of me did this,
and how do i ****** that part

i'm sorry it comes out in places i wish it didnt,
but it needs to go somewhere.
i know i have the sickness,
but we have to pretend that i don't

formless,
i find shape when the lights turn on again.
please don't do that.
please let me remain formless forever