I don't know who I am without her.
Before Ana I was a child and in the in be tweens  been fighting to get away.
                 But who does that make me?
First child.
Then starving hatred.
With dashes, small sprinkles of wanting recovery.
               Wanting Salvation, but knowing nothing other than how to hate and how to punish because I've forgotten what it is to be a child.
Now I know how to starve better, to be hungry longer.
I know How to please her, which is how I please myself.
             But does that really make me happy?
             Is this what I was meant to do?
Was I meant to live inside the cage of my mind, doomed to this suffering?
   For what?
      To reach my ideal of bones?
What does this make me?
           Who would I be without her?
                 How would I live without these guidelines?