I was wedged between blue leather, scribbling axes into the shape of question marks; and you were laid on blue woven wicker, snoring and many miles away.
Now, I am sinking into fluffy blue polyester; and you are sleeping on a table carved of icy blue steel.
It is strange, isn't it?
I did not know you then, I will never know you now.

Can I kiss you beneath the Chestnut Trees? Capture you with my ancient branches, press you into my breast?
Will you curl nearer? Wind your roots with my own, Welcome me with dampened Spring soil? Shall we stay right here? Forever? Puffing in dusty pollen until Summer seeds sprout through our brittle cracks? Could we just? Should we just?

So, what happens now?
Now that it is all over.
Is there hope for us yet?
Yet? It is plain to see.
See that it is not so. It is not so.
So, what happens now? Now that it is all over.

They say I am like her,
and her,
but that is
blasphemous,
backhanded as
my sorrow must
bleed through.

Cannot make it
pretty,
there is no way
to make it
tender.
Cannot wish it into
a petal, a leaf,
there is no way
to warm the
sun.

They say I am like her,
but she is in
the dirt buried by
her own
hands-
and her hands
too!
She cried straight
into the
crypt.
Diagnosed with
the
disease of
death.

Do they also say
they hope
I end
like her,
or her,
too?

Goraiya
by Pragya Bhagat

The Hindi word for sparrow is goraiya
It skips across my tongue and lingers in my mouth like the aftertaste of toffee
Goraiya
I like that word
If I had to draw a picture of a sparrow with sound
My word would sound like goraiya

You tell me they travel in flocks
That they like bathing in the summer
By hopping off a table and skidding in water
You tell me that the males are pretty but the women run the show

They don’t chirp among strangers
These sparrows
They avoid eye contact and move only if you’re very
Very
Still

You tell me about the time you tried to catch them
With a rope and stick and some rice
Sometimes they didn’t let you nap in the day time
Because their symphony was louder than your dreams

How I see the sparrow, you say
Depends on who I am
A child will play their games
An old man will listen to their music
So I wonder what I’ll see
In this mirror of a bird

She makes eye contact if you’re still
Because that’s how she knows you’re listening
She lets herself be caught
So that she has something to fight for
Her favourite part of the day
Is when she learns a new word
That skips across her tongue
And lingers like the aftertaste of toffee

She flicks from puddle to puddle
Sharing her words with those building dictionaries of their own
Of course she won’t let you nap in the day time
Because the sun is out
The trees have cracked their knuckles
And today’s the day she sings her symphony

Some stories aren’t written but felt
They melt into your skin like a mother’s smile
Some stories are so simple
They open windows inside us we didn’t know still opened
And all it takes is a word that sounds like its picture

You tell me that sparrows don’t chirp among strangers
We are no longer strangers

Synesthesia - Red
by Kashi

Quickening red sad emotions well as I stumble
Speechless until red becomes the rage
Quickening rage thundering heart takes over
Till the release of tornado leaving destruction
Along its wake

Passing through breaths
Life defined
Passing with grace
Life adorned
Passing through challenges
Life signified
Passing through with peace
Life embellished
This is it

Remember I am
Remember all I see is I am
Remember whatever comes at me is also I am
Remember I am that is all there is
Remember I am the life
Remember I am
Always

You know you are unworthy & undeserving,
Beneath me, love;
And yet, with shame,
You feel the same as you have always
That heart - of mine.
It is kindred, and full of lust.
Hopelessly infatuated,
Though you know we were all wrong.
You can't help it,
And you assure me it isn't obsession
For you have known that,
This is not it.

Just painfully unrequited,
For all your faults.

In Paris, society people unironically dress for dinner, go to cocktail parties (where the hostess has an obvious drinking problem), dine with Catholic Bishops, industrialists, politicians and occasional celebrities (usually for charity) in places dripping with atmosphere.

I met this famous actor once (July 2019, pre-covid, I was 15), at one of these summer parties in Paris. He was probably in his early forties (an impression, I didn’t look it up). Shall we wax poetic?

It was sunset - almost 10PM in Paris.
The last rose-blush of sunset was in the west.
I was leaning on the wrought iron balustrade,
of a 4th floor terrace, in the center of the city proper.

The Seine still shimmered, with diaphanous emerald flecks,
and the air was heady with the perfume of jasmine and Nuxe oil.
Behind me, beyond the French doors and filigreed silk drapes
that fluttered like angel wings, a cocktail party was happening.

I could hear the tinkling of glass, laughter and conversation.
A couple, across the way, were wrapped together as if for warmth
and they communicated in the language of lingering touch and gazes
that delved and explored. I smiled, embarrassed, and looked away.

Ok, snap out of it.

He came out on the terrace alone, as if he was looking for a breath of air and stopped at the railing about three feet away from me. After a minute, he turned, as if I’d suddenly appeared, and introduced himself.
When we shook hands, his felt like silk.

Anyway, we’d chatted for under a minute - I was jabbering about how I’d loved the Bourne movies - I was trying to sound interesting - when he leaned in and whispered, “What would you do if I kissed you right now?”

I was flabbergasted and I think I looked around to see if he was talking to me. Sometimes life offers simple choices. I grimaced, shook my head ‘no,’ and at first, I backed away, then I turned and hustled back to the party.
I think he chuckled. I saw him some time later, chatting up a model-looking woman.

I told Charles about it after the party and he said, “Huh - No kidding?” Then he shrugged and said, “Hollywood.”

This isn’t some sobbing “me too’ story. I wasn’t traumatized. It’s a tale of entitled male tomfoolery. Maybe I looked older in a certain light? A humorous ‘growing up’ story I get to share with friends - and now with all 8 of my readers.
.
.
Songs for this:
Hurricane Waters by Citizen Cope
Beautiful Trash by Lanu & Meg Washington
Quero Te a Sambar by Tape Five