i wish not to patiently wait
to the days my life is over
for sudden recognization
feelings are still the same

three precious words vowed
i am his yet he is not mine
devoted passionately to he
prayers above for love to be

if i let you know the truth
will you confess it all to me
tell me you still love me
as the past has proved

stay for once never leave
bless me with one chance
to prove it is meant to be
our love is made to succeed

times are slowly changing
my love for you is endless
you always stay for little
going without my control

it is seen that i am i
and simply he is he
yet time can only tell
what is meant to be

run away as far as you can
eventually time will lead
back into our tired hands

come back to me
as you promise

make the future now
let the past be forgotten

put me to sleep easily
settle pains in abundance

tell me a beautiful lie
make me feel okay

let me be the chase
desire me for once

send me off gracefully
seek private adventure

grant me an early start
let me run far away
just to come back to you

woken haste-fully six fifty three
daily serene mid-evening nap
desperate for his loyal presence
yearning to make amends with past

i can feel his company close
desert burning temperature
his hands all over my body
lost innocent catholic girl image

his beautiful name is strictly scripted
only language i have learned to speak
rolling seductively off my tongue
pure temptation to announce hell

room easing with darkness
calming shadows keep me safe
his apparition always present
yet it was only just a dream

his name is on my mind
hauntingly beautiful
i think about him everywhere
turn my dreams to nightmares

what if i don’t find love
and the options given
were all i had offered
and i let them all go

what if i missed the one
blinded to see he was there
all along - waiting for me
and i let him go

what if the one
doesn’t exist
just a mere fantasy
that’ll never be reality

case be so
i will not find love
yet instead eternal peace
and i will not let that go

shocking discovery of character detected
noticeable difference of interests from rest
simple lack of human within truly affected
views of life with neglect gently unstressed

explanations suddenly founded in time
answers to failure in success present
minor details with bare minimal is prime
inability of awareness unintentionally meant

attention beheld shortly with socializing
entertainment seeking happiness is essential
appearances conveying perfection appetizing
flavors of bland extreme with no potential

views sweet enticing icing designed on top
simply nothing more captivating is less to drop

beauty upon a delicate creature
innocent young brown eyed girl
perfection bestowed in every feature
every fishers’ catch, shining pearl

perfect from day one
yet she couldn’t see
skinny must be done
perfect then she’ll be

the world was her oyster
everything granted within smile

yet beauty was a destroyer
sudden death of a child

sold the devil her soul
fantasy turned to reality
one’s life desirable goal
perfect she’ll finally be

deceived by image in mirror
years of starvation to the bones
glass of ugliness suddenly clearer
lost completely from her homes

harmful inability to love
all of the world but herself

time revealed a life
truly better than this

repetitive periods of recovery
one’s wish irreversible
beauty uplifted the misery
weight eventually stable

one thousand four hundred sixty days
hidden silent all these years
one thousand four hundred sixty ways
held back brown eyed tears

her name was sydney rose
the girl who suffers with anorexia

was you. all of you.

i tried texting her,
but my messages didn’t deliver.

i waited a few days,
but she never came around.

i tried making eye contact,
but all i saw was her hair.

i tried talking to her in class,
but she frowned upon my face.

i tried holding the door,
but she opened the one next to it.

i tried talking to her friends,
but they all shook their heads.

i tried going to sleep without her,
but the bed was too lifeless.

i tried not thinking about her,
but her voice was in my mind.

i tried not talking about her,
but her name was on my lips.
pure honey dripped. temptation.

i tried moving on,
but she’s irreplaceable.

i asked my mom,
“why did she leave all of a sudden?”

she replied sadly,
“but did you ever call her back?”

that night.
she cried.
to you.
for hours.
on the phone.
did you ever
call her back?

i know you
i knew you

i want you
i wanted you

i love you
i loved you

i have you
i had you

i cry over you
i cried over you

i met someone new
i have someone new

i think i’m losing my mind, going insane. it’s been five minutes since you last called my name. nothing like it used to be, is the same.
- a person madly in love

eyes forever locked
heartbeats forever engaged
yet her past caused a blocked
heart stolen and caged

such innocence she wore
nothing less, nothing more
a beast tried to tore
risk was the price paid for

day by day
night by night
one’s heart became less gray
something like love, only to despite

eyes forever locked
on just one human
cage unbroken, finally unlocked
a beautiful love now blooming  

four hours
two hundred forty minutes
uncontrollable powers
connecting two souls, no limits

moonlight hit my gloomy face.
competition of tears in a race.
the pain you dealt left a place.
permanent mark, cannot be replaced.

tossing and turning.
mistakes felt like a burdening.
ungrateful regret unnoticed.
beautiful words, left unspoken.

like a thief in the night.
took my heart, without a sight.
beautifully killed an innocent soul.
her world left, deadly dull.

trust inbound within a human.
belief and faith there was no wrong doing.
broke my heart within a second.
everything gone, within a millisecond.

tossing and turning.
cries for all of you, yearning.
temptation is satan.
love was mistaken.

took a risk and rolled the dice.
should’ve known i wasn’t the prize.
another girl within his eyes.
laying in a bed, full of lies.

left alone, broken and cold.
heart is dead, pure hard stone.
how he made me feel, specifically.
is how he did her, physically.

three in the morning.
nothing but mourning.
experiences were truly blue.
the first night i slept without you.

and after five tragic years
our sweet, broken souls met.
and looking straight into you,
into your deceiving brown eyes,
finally proved to me
that now you're just somebody
that i used to know.

i loved you like rainbows
i tasted you like honeydew
little could you tell
i loved you more than she do

our skies were cloudy
my days became sadly
you walked a different path
knew the aftermath

honeydew became sour
not sweet like flowers
my heart was broken
words left unspoken

the thought of a past without you, makes me wonder how long i’ve been dead

the sky was this
the ocean was that
my shot was miss
another’s turn to bat

i flew in clouds
i swam in lakes
my heart once proud
now only breaks

you made my life yellow
you have karma now due
you make me mellow
you turnt me blue