I struggle with hearing your name.
I struggle with seeing your face on my feed.
I struggle with what happened between you and me.
I struggle with the friends i know from knowing your name and place we would hang.
I struggle with wanting you.
I struggle with the fact that we both found someone else.
I struggle with hoping its all for the best.
but most of all I struggle with the thought of you in my heart and mind that won't let me rest..

I see you on my mind
I adore that devilish face
Though I'm left behind
Still my heart does race.

I find no escape
Even when I sleep.
In my dream you take shape,
And eventually I weep.

Will this ever turn around?
Back before I ruined us.
I feel my chest POUND,
Fast like a runaway bus.

I can't explain it any better,
I can't deny the way I feel..
Like a brand new sweater
Maybe I lost you too soon. Flat out unreal.

How is Gary..?
How are you..?
Is there something you need..?
Is there anything I can do..?

Appreciative and humble,
We need things not.
I pray for a mumble,
Or some sort of thought.

I can still see the life in his face.
We wait for miracles,
And watch them take place.
As we wait for his warm embrace

I say prayers at your side
while I hope hard you will come back.
Keep holding tight on this long ride,
And know our love for you will never lack!

Gary Mathew its not your time.
We all know this to be true.
Oh brother of mine,
I don't want to see a world with no you.






https://m.facebook.com/LoveForGary

https://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/love-and-support-for-gary-jr-/239630#.VCT4WRfll-U.facebook

I think I've found happiness once more,
picking up the shards of my heart,
hoping she can hold them together for me.
And for some time, it holds strong. Looks almost like the scars have healed, and everything feels alright.
I am hopeful and eager to begin again.

She's worries about my sleeping habits and eating habits, so I give her my free time, I show her affection. We share a love all our own. So she guards my beating heart that I have given to her.

Then I am taken by surprise as I ring a customer through. She smells amazing, I feel my nerves on edge, heart racing, and I can't even help but tell her she smells so good. And I ask, already knowing... "Are you wearing Viva La Juicy?"

She took the compliment kindly thanked me and left, not realizing that her fragrance could affect a stranger so deeply.
And I'm left baffled at why it still hurts so badly to smell the perfume as it slowly fades. And my heart sinks yet again

To Mr Gary Matthew-
On and on hours roll,
We bring faith and hope
to your young soul.
Gary Matthew we love you.

This tragedy takes its toll,
Ever so slow the clock seems to go,
As we sit just down this hall.
Gary Matthew we love you.

Feel our love surround your room?
Each heart that has met yours,
Each bond will bloom.
Gary Matthew we love you.  

You are a special man brother,
Prayer and kind wishes working hard.
Strongest of all of course is our mother.
Gary Matthew we love you

sideways rain
gloomy clouds
wind howling through the halls
I cant believe I wore sandals....

I only wish to show how much I care
Do I get roses?
Do I get chocolates?
What do I dare?
Would she like a card?
Do we go out to dinner?
How about a teddy bear?
Not sure what she expects,
But I'd be content
with her at my side just laying there

Out of your 25 years I was lucky enough to share all my 22 with you. You will always be the big brother watching over me, and now im lucky enough to have you alongside Dad, my angels watching over..

Three years to the day, I had to enter the world after you, that was the beginning of looking up to you too.
you gave me adoration and allowed me to be a princess. From toddlers to teens, then we gave mom madness.
Oh boy would we fight, and i remember how much I cried... but I knew you always cared, the tears then dont even compare to the ones falling now. Your absence created an emptiness I've never felt before.
Not a day passes I dont think about you, but what was "our birthday" will be just as difficult as the day you passed. I came into this world sharing today with you and that will never change. Its been a constant of my life knowing we could celebrate each other anywhere in the world because today was ours.
Happy 26th Birthday to my Gary. May you rest in paradise and have a wonderful first birthday back with dad ♡♡

Cant quite get you off my mind...
I think of your warmth
In every corner of my thoughts its you I find...
I think of your embrace
My sweetheart so kind...
I think of that smile


Work in progress! ! Finishing later :))

I'm sorry for the things I've done
I'm sorry for how they make you feel
I am no mind reader my ***
So how about we make a deal

I'm sorry I dont always understand
I'm sorry every moment you feel sorrow
My heart is at the mercy of your hand
So promise me you will always be my tomorrow

I'm sorry I dont always cater to you
I'm sorry I'm spoiled to the core
Its not enough to feel lower than poo
I can be a princess no more.

I'm sorry that I dont put you first
I'm sorry I am so lazy
With you all mine my heart is a burst
Of love and excitement and dreams all crazy

I love you my Liz, I'm just sorry I couldnt express more.

I write each rhyme just to **** the time.
I'm so void within, deep where I've lost emotions, and just bottled them in.
I let it spill out into beautiful word, though I never seem to make it heard.
I mostly try to keep to myself, much like the book stopper at the end of a shelf.
I watch all the others get picked up and read, while I collect dust just waiting for dead.
~KL
11-28-12

I can't begin to explain this crush...
You just give me an incredible rush.
You don't even know,
But you knock me out with each intoxicating touch.

I couldn't believe how hard I fell
when I fell for you. Ouch
I couldn't believe how much it hurt
when you let me go. Ouch
Should've believed I'd fall again
when you entered my life. Ouch
Falling harder and faster than ever before
each night I realize I like you more. Ouch
I find myself with you whatever the cost
you feel like home when im feeling lost. Ouch
I hadn't known a pain like this,
yet everything else melts away with your kiss.
Forgive me for these wild notions,
but with you I cannot contain my emotions.
I dont mean to push for more,
though we've had time its still you I adore.

Its hard to speak when
We are filled with laughter

Its hard to speak when
The sight of you leaves me breathless

Its hard to speak when
I am distracted by your touch

Its hard to speak when
Our adventures play in my head

Its hard to speak when
Your lips are stuck on mine

Its hard to say I Love You
When i am too busy experiencing the words

This was the first time my world changed.
I wish I could give advice to 3 year old me, to cope with loss and anger for losing daddy.
His body was gone, but his soul is strong.
His voice guiding, protecting, and teaching right and wrong.
Mom held my hand, and showed me life is fun.
Until the day she lost her son..
When you lose a soulmate you shut down, when youve said goodbye to your child a piece of you is gone

A lot on my mind,
A lot on this fragile plate.
Figuring out how to cope
When I'm stuck in this state.

I need this balance,
All the give and take...
But she asks why I stay
Like I've made some mistake

Now don't get me wrong,
I care so much that I am terrified.
Sometimes I see this look in your eyes,
It tells me when you want to run or hide.

However, I won't go away.
So I'll just stand my ground.
I will be right here
Where it's safe and sound.

I most often feel like a shadow amongst people
unseen, unheard
both bending and blending
To just be

Not a soul cares about this shadow
so contorted and strange
its become unrecognizable
but it is only me

This shadow must break free

Thinking of her makes this heart of mine rush,
I even catch myself starting to blush.
I want so much more everytime.
Just the thought of one simple kiss
Leaves me sitting here in bliss.

I've come so far
I've made my way
We head out to the car
On this cold 6th day

Thanksgiving was tasty
Wow what a bird
But this trip was so hasty
Though laughter I heard

I had fun with the pups
And when we all played
And enjoyed clinking cups
What a ruckus we made

So much more to say
I don't want to part
How I wish I could stay
But all these memories I'll keep in my heart

By: Karysa Lofgren
Dedicated: the Family

All these these words begging to spill out,
I dare not stray
So in my head
These words do stay

Please don't shout,
Wish to mend our moments.
However words do spread
And the room fills ever tense

I am all yours, dont you see?

My heart
Yours to mend or shatter.
My smile
Yours to brighten each moment.
My soul
To uplift yours.
My laugh
To bring you joy.
My body
Yours to protect and show off.
My all
Yours to leave or make complete.
Because without you my all is weak.

You make me so ******* crazy out of my mind
I know all you're going through
But I just wanted to make you mine

I know what she is to you
I have stood in your shoes
Hurts to know I've been a fool

You took my world and made it bright
but just as quickly shattered the bulb
leaving me without light

How I got you..?
I'll never know

I'm gracious of your love
but seems like its that I cant give enough of

You've seen me at my best and delt with my worst
its with you I want to build a nest, you are who took my heart and nursed

There's no limit for appreciation for you
I only wish you'd see it too

All I can give is all I can do
please understand I cannot let go of you

Your positivity shines bright;
   encouraging.
Your magnetism destroys
   comfort zones.
You feel like safety.


   You are rare

Within you I lose my fears
Within you I forget my tears
Within you I have listening ears
Within you I see joy through years

Home is not where the mail is sent.
Home is not where my bed sits.
Home is not the closet where my clothes hang
Home is not here.

My home has warmth. My home has comfort. My home can go with me any place

My home isnt where i lay to rest at night unless its next to you.

she lit a wildfire within me
when i wasnt even sure id spark...