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Nerina C Jul 2016
We become so fixated and suppressed
we forget who we are
we loose ourselves in the daily pattern
we end up spending our entire lives living in houses doing the things we don’t like to do  
because it’s the only life we have ever known.
waiting until the day I can spread my wings and fly away too.
677 · Jul 2016
Dim
Nerina C Jul 2016
Dim
Insecurities building up
Only 16
under pressure
uncollected and pessimistic
and halls of empty bodies
I resign from this life
please forgive me
goodbye.
June 27, 2016 12:39 AM
Notes in my iPhone
655 · Jul 2016
Heavy state of isolation
Nerina C Jul 2016
I purposefully isolate myself

when I finally hear the empty noise of my confinement;

I scream with with all my might

The shriek of my terrors, bouncing off the empty four white walls, try to fill the eerie white noise of my desolation, but to no avail

And I scream, not because i’m afraid

but because I hope someone
anyone

will come and save me from this empty, dark, shallow pit of loneliness.


He hears me call and he wraps around me


his deepest darkest secrets, wishes, and dreams ultimately become a humdrum beat to my ears

The white eerie noise reappears for a single moment
home and familiar
I run away from anything and everything unknown
to chase what I know

back to square one,

I sit contently

happily inside the four white walls.

Until…
the white noise returns indefinitely
and I begin
feeling trapped once more

screaming

crying


hopping


waiting…


for someone
anyone

over and over again.
541 · Jul 2016
When I see you I forget...
Nerina C Jul 2016
When my eyes gaze into yours
the whole world stands still.
when I stare into a mirror
all I see is a seething and distressed gaze
so please help me forget
kiss me with your bright gaze now
look at me
grab my hand
gently
and hold me
because somehow you become my escape from reality
and even if it takes a while
i’ll try and see me;
the way you see me.
i'm not in love nor have I ever been (or so I think I haven't)
I hope one day I do.
536 · Nov 2016
Moving forward
Nerina C Nov 2016
Even if now is not the right time
even if I was never the right girl
I will never forget the taste of your lips on mine
sweet,
turned sour.
I am unchanged.
still me,
despite everything that went wrong.
531 · Nov 2016
Let's fall in love again.
Nerina C Nov 2016
As I lay in your arms
The same electricity I once knew,
The spark,
that used to light between me and you
Has disappeared.
Gone in a collage of shouts and screams.
Time in time again,
I have devoted myself
to recapture the electricity,
That ran through my fingertips,
as you held my hand
and held your lips close to mine,
urgent and waiting.

Let's let everything fall away when we're together,
Let's loose ourselves
In a mirage of kisses and gazes.

Like we once did.
Nerina C Jan 2017
On nights like these
when the rain is pouring hard and the thunder is screaming and howling
I remember you.
I can't almost contain myself from reaching out again
But then I do
I find the will in myself to contain
I am an incandescent light
I am untouchable by rain
thunder
lighting
the wind
and the moon
I am me
most importantly
I am free
I live in California and it's currently 1:04 in the morning and its raining and thundering like crazy.
394 · Jul 2016
Love is ___.
Nerina C Jul 2016
Love is a place
the journey to get there is rigorous and unnerving
I have yet to know the real pleasure of love.

Love is a place
and if I had to define a place up until now;
well
you are the only love I know

And so I guess I have to say; love is a place with you.
271 · Dec 2016
O
Nerina C Dec 2016
O
You decided to live without me
so live without me you will
I still cherish the happy memories

What I would give to spend just one more day with you in bed
249 · Dec 2016
untitled
Nerina C Dec 2016
darkness gives a spotlight to the emptiness in my soul
but the morning sun fills in the void
238 · Aug 2016
In my heart.
Nerina C Aug 2016
I didn't think I needed to say much
I thought the way my eyes were told you everything you needed to know
After time and time again of sitting and only speaking with our eyes
I thought somehow they might have showed you with one quick glance just how much I loved and missed you
but at the end of the day now all that is said is
"it's okay, goodnight."
empty empty words,
that left me feeling like pieces of broken glass.
I don't know if anyone soon will replace you
because you were not only the person I so stupidly fell in love with
you were my best friend too.
235 · Oct 2016
Okay
Nerina C Oct 2016
Just say okay, and we could surf the highest waves
hand in hand, never loosing faith
We could swim the lowest tides, as we gasp for air
you will say you love me
And I you.
We could do cartwheels on the sand
And you will catch me when I fall.
We could see the stars, that will leave us in awe
And though standing so close to a comet with you is definitely reckless
Loving you is even more so, but i'm happy regardless.
So just say okay,
And take my hand;
And just promise you will never loose faith.
i love you
231 · Apr 2017
Untitled
Nerina C Apr 2017
just go to sleep

just go to sleep
go to sleep
no more crying
no more wondering
no more thinking
just go to sleep
226 · Jan 2017
Untitled
Nerina C Jan 2017
Pray for her
Pray with me
Best yet pray for the better days to come
Pray for yourself
Pray for your soul
But don't forget
Pray for the sick
But most importantly
Pray for the dead who can't pray for themselves
185 · Aug 2018
me
Nerina C Aug 2018
me
Fixation

I know it all too well.

With a quick glance, and a sigh of disgust,

I see you

My withered bony frame.

— The End —