I seek the calm
And find the moment
Before agitation finds me
Once again
And makes silence
Deafening
So I embrace the unrest
With music louder than thoughts
To strangle it
But without conclusion
Once again

I feel so
Strangely estranged
From this whole strange world
I feel so strangely estranged
From the people
who knows me
And yet does not know me
And whom I’ll never know
Yet strangely
They’re not strangers
And in a strange way
I’m no stranger to them
And even though
I am no stranger
To me
I have no idea who I am
I am a stranger in my life
In my home
In my mind
I am a stranger
To the thoughts that I sometimes think
And to the stories that I sometimes write
I am a stranger
To this strange poem
And I am a stranger
To the one staring back from the reflection
And in a strange way
I feel strangely estranged
To the whole concept
Of known
Or strange

Christmas
The strangest time of year
The time of year
With pretended love
And insincere gifts
Christmas
With snow that never was in Bethlehem
And kids
Taught materialism
Yet
We claim
The love
For the neighbor, family and friends
And give
Our time
To food and shopping
And discomfort
Yet
I love it, in the end
For the roots are not rotten
Yet
And love not completely forgotten
Yet

Let me know about you ¨
By simply  
Conversing with me

I ****** a poet. No, I didn't, but wouldn't it have been beautiful.

I am neither
Angel
Nor devil
But human
As imperfect as can be
And never evil
Intentionally
So please
Don’t
Romanticize
My existence

I like the way a cigarette hangs
Out his mouth
Crooked
Like his smile
I like the way
His shoulders hang
And also
I like his hands
That knows a woman’s body
But mostly I like
That his eyes
Likes me
Though not me
But my body
And though I don’t like
Being objectified
I like
That he likes me tonight

Kinda like a vampire
I stay out
Till' I get an invite
Definete
And without doubt
That they really want me there

Kinda like a vampire
I see nothing there
In the mirror
Beyond my stare
But why should you care?

Kinda like a vampire
I feel monstrous
And without care
And I **** the life of people here
Mostly, of those for whom I care

And kinda like a vampire
I stare into the night
And I think
Is it really right
That I am here?

Music should be
Louder than thoughts
To strangle
And embrace them
A drain for emotions
And a chamber for expression
Music should be
A moment
And everything before
And memories
For a new beginning

My name is Autumn, you know me well
I am the chill wind, the low sun, the fallen leaves
I am your cup of tea, and the rain that falls
I am the wet grass beneath your feet, the burning leaves on the trees
I am the comfort of your lover’s arms; I am the waiting for the Winter
I am wet and I am damp, I am mild and I am sweet
And as you look at all my colours, Winter makes her entrance
And she will freeze your skin and heat your heart, till Fall comes and calms her down.
Then, when Summer has made you warm and tired, once again I will come- beautiful as ever
Autumn- that is my name, you know me well

Tomorrow is saturday
and today just another day
Forgotten
With the wish to be remembered
Today is just another day
that I wake up
To the sun on the floor
And warmth in the bone
Today is just another day
To be forgotten

I don’t want to live by the sea
For where others see
Possible possibilities
I see
Impossibilities
  I want to live
By the tree
The tree outside my window
With the sky always
Perfectly
Molded behind it
And moving
Silently
  It is a possibility
For being still

New, strong
and yet so fragile
The rose
It stands
Like a symbol of life
and death
And successfully
They preserve
Its beauty
They keep it
**** it
So it can be
Forever young
And beautifully
She stands
The rose
A memory of life

I have a feeling that my heart beat bigger
I have a feeling
That the fall grows steeper
My hands are shaking
The ground is breaking
My heart is failing
My soul is fading

Ambition fade
As mountain grow great
Not mountain of stone
Nor of earth
But mountain of
                    Lack of transparency

I feel my heart beat bigger
Not of love
Nor of passion
But bigger of
Lack of sleep
And desperation

                      I feel my mind
                      Of reluctance entwined

But I have to go
I have to do
I don’t have a choice
For the choice
Is mine alone
And a choice
Made a long time ago

I apologize
In my head
When I step where you sit
For I appreciate
Being
My idea of human
Then you sat your big fat ***
Where I must step
And we come
Uncomfortably close
And I see
That we are comfortable
And I
Maybe even you
Must change
The idea
Of human

Alright; I’ll write you a poem
Although, you never asked for one
But it caught your interest once
And forever
You held onto mine
You’ll never read it
Never even see it
But I’ll write you a poem
For it caught your interest once
And forever
You held onto mine

When I look at you
I see
The space between your two front teeth
And I notice
Your context

When I look at you
I see your humanly beauty
And I notice
Someone artistic
Of choice
And need

When I look at you
I see
Your curly hair
And I notice
Someone unfinished
Aspirating to be
You
And so much more
Than you

When I look at you
I see
Concentration
And I notice
Everything I need you to be

When I look at you
I see
Relatively
Small eyes
And I notice
That they are soft
And I noticed
A certain
Curiosity
Intriguingly
Near

But now
When I look at you
I see someone
Who once knew me
And I notice
Melancholia
Only in me

Too much aesthetics
And coffee
Wasted for you
But never before you
For
Although I gladly
Wasted it before you
It always ended
Behind me

You scare me shitless
You know
You know,
With your blue
With your blue, blue eyes
Small
Soft eyes
Your eyes, you know
I wanna drown in those
But you scare me shitless
You know
Because you don’t know
You know
You don’t know
Me
But I wanna drown
In you
You know