Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
206 · Oct 2018
Today
L Oct 2018
Not guilty not guilty not guilty.

All three accounts. For naught.

Welp.
Maybe
190 · Nov 2018
R
L Nov 2018
R
Im at a good place. Why do i want to destroy it.

Well at least im not crying anymore.
187 · Nov 2018
OUT
L Nov 2018
OUT
And dont you just try to turn it around. I told you all along. You just didnt listen. You didnt, couldnt, refused to accept that. Accept me.



You wanted more than i was. You wanted an image of me. One you made up. And then fawned over. One that you loved. One that was created and modeled all on your own.
186 · Oct 2018
How
L Oct 2018
How
How do i momentarily delete people from my life?

Or at least mute them?
Maybe ill just mute myself for a bit.
Delete.
Off grid.
One
185 · Aug 2019
I keep
L Aug 2019
Walking
Up
Down
Around
Sometimes
Through.

“Have i hit my lowest point yet?”

I walk
Swim
Run
Bike
Tiptoe
Crawl

“Is this my lowest point?”
181 · Nov 2018
OF
L Nov 2018
OF
I am not your piece of clay to mold to your own design.


Im more than you can imagine. Maybe more than you could comprehend.
177 · Jun 2018
Untitled
L Jun 2018
Oh, the pain still resides within (just as it should.)
One must only learn when to put it aside
or when to pick him up and hold him within their arms. (cradle him, really)
The pain and the hurt.
174 · Sep 2019
Yesterday
L Sep 2019
Ive been drinking again. Lying to friends and losing them
Again with the *******, my same stupid drama.
In a world like today where else are you supposed to put your *******
174 · Nov 2018
Nevermind. He held my hand.
L Nov 2018
Having someone sleeping next to you while you feel as though you are having an episode is about the loneliest thing i can just about imagine. And yet i still want to steady your breathing in your sleep.
173 · Sep 2018
Nu no know now new
L Sep 2018
Do you think you know me?
Have you figured me out?
If so, please explain it to me.
Go ahead. I dare ya.
172 · Sep 2018
Part 4
L Sep 2018
IV
Where was i going? My tendency to ramble. The fact that you make me crazy. Because you do. You do make me crazy.
You make
me crazy.
171 · Oct 2018
wants vs needs
L Oct 2018
i want you.
i need you.
i love you.


your are.
so far
away.
i just

want to wrap my arms around you
why dont you
tell me
"Everything's gunna be okay"

i try
and try
and try again

feels like no progress,
while so many friends.

you cant take.
just what you need
but what you want

....IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT THING.
LIKE. HOW ABOUT
JUST TRY TO BE HAPPY AND ****
AND MAYBE **** WILL WORK OUT.



until then,
(i guess)
i love you,
i want you.
i need you.
167 · Nov 2018
How tf
L Nov 2018
To crawl out of a hole
167 · Nov 2018
!
L Nov 2018
!
You know. How when. Wait. Is it just me. Nah, im sure im not the only one. People are weird like that. Unique. Just like EVERYONE else.

I digress. You know. When you play a game. Or read a book. For long enough. And you start to identify with a character. Like "yeah, thats totally me out of all of the other characters." And then. And THEN. you notice yourself picking up on the mannerisms and speech pattern of theirs.
160 · Nov 2018
E
L Nov 2018
E
I loved you. And you hurt me. You COULD have cared more. You could have tried harder.

Truth. You probably could have.

Maybe you didnt have the capacity.

Maybe you couldnt have.

But you should have.

It could have been better.

It should have been better.


If i meant that much to you why did you hurt me?
159 · Apr 2019
An Ode to H
L Apr 2019
Picking up bottles is so much easier than not doing so. The weight of it is nonexistent. No matter the amount within, no matter the content. the bottle goes up and comes back down, physically, at least just a bit lighter than before. But nontheless, the bottle is weightless to its almost but not quite unsuspecting victim. the worst part is when the drinkee already knows. instead of physical weight within the bottle, they feel the mental weight within themselves. 'This is a game that you will not win. but you will play, regardless.' and play it i will, i suppose. how else am i going to get it to shut up. get it out of my damnned face. get out of my doggamn head.
L Nov 2018
At what point is it fair to say that something doesnt work?

Do you realized after so many times that its not working and thats when you give up?

How many times?

Or

Do you keep letting it not work until it breaks and then you say "well that didnt work."?

Is it like a broken pencil? Never again the same, though sometimes it could still be made new and work again. Just. Differently?

Or is it like machinery? Just switch out a part for a new one, and then the whole thing is good as new.

Am i a pencil? Are you? Are we both machines?
Can we even be fixed at all?
What in the **** even is a human.
151 · Nov 2018
D
L Nov 2018
D
I said to myself, in my head, "im only gunna take TWO shots." I lied. I lied to myself. Well i guess not. Not yet. But. Im so close to taking that next one. I really want to. How long has it been.
149 · Sep 2018
Part 3
L Sep 2018
III
Funny stuff, life.
You are a ******* treat.
I guess i know what you mean.
Considering i want every ******* part of you.
Though not for my own. So its different maybe.
I want you. But only when i need you. And i want to not need you very frequently. So.
Theres that.
146 · May 2018
It's not the end.
L May 2018
How can I explain?

I can already feel myself going out on a tangent.
You're one of the best things that has ever happend to me. Merde, I can't even spell. anyways. I've changed I'm a different person. I feel more bitter.


So I was
when did i even write this. i feel guilty just letting it sit in my drafts, not even remembering where i was going with it. live free little ****** poem. make a life of your own now, buddy.
145 · Aug 2018
"we're all mad here.
L Aug 2018
Anger, faker, false mood maker. What has replaced calmness?

Give me your soul just as you once had promised.


Now's not the time, id once thought i was wise.

In the blink of an eye, gravity it did not defy.

Once upon a time, we had much in store.

It fell down to pieces, i had just wanted more.



Down and down the rabbit hole,

Where it ends, no one knows.

Ive chosen this road whether conscious or not.

No room for error, no time for plot.

Just give and give as youve always had.

Well if youd stopped now, thatd be all too bad.

Because like it or not, theyre counting on you.

Not just ones above ground but imagined ones too.
143 · Nov 2018
O
L Nov 2018
O
I lied. Another one here i come.

**** it

Why.


Okay. So actually. I havent lied yet. Cool?

Am i strong enough? Do i have the will?


Okay. So i did lie. It will be just that last one. Yes.
For sure.
135 · Oct 2018
Should i
L Oct 2018
Post a series

Of really short couple-lined incomplete-feeling poems?

(As if you guys are going to answer me.)
F*** it.
L Nov 2018
It felt like something that could have lasted forever. But maybe i WAS blind. Maybe it doesnt matter.

You know when little kids think of something and they cant quite figure out the name of it so theyre describing it as best as they can.

Is that what i was. Some kid trying to make sense of something that was incomprehensible to me.

I hate that.

I want to be understood.
Miss understood.

But isnt that everyone?

At what point does misunderstood become understood.

What does it take to get to that point?

How much does Miss Understood have to try compared to someone she wants to understand her has to try?

I cant even language.

Shut up, kid.
'You dont even know what youre talking about.'

— The End —