I don't have all the answers.
I will make mistakes.
I will get things wrong.
But i have a heart that's big
As the ocean.
I am only human.

Behind my smile lies a rage you
Have never seen before.
So please don't push me too hard.

My dreams that full of colour
In a place of happiness.
Feeling no sadness.
Then my eyes open and it's back
To the same black and white
World I know so well.

A broken mind can still be a
Beautiful mind.

There is no learning to love.
Because I don't feel it.
I can't pretend that I do.
You want more than I can give.
So sorry if your hearing something
Different fall from my lips.
There will never be love.
I need you to listen.
Don't hold on to hope that my mind
Will change because it won't.
I need a friend nothing else.
If you can't be that then this is won't
Work between us.

Come see see me and we can live
After midnight.
Touch me under the silver moon light.
Kissing me under the stars.
Hold me tight pull me close to you.
Make me say your name.
Promise me one thing.
After tonight never let me go.

How do I start this poem?
How do I tell you that I love you?.
Because the bed is burning and my mind is full
Ready to burst.

Your the secret that I love to keep
Waiting on  your message with anticipation.
Feeling my heart beat so hard.
Feeling things words can explain.

Longing to feel you pull me close.
Longing to taste your kiss.
Dreaming of being alone in your arms.
Getting lost in your eyes.

Your more than just a secert
Your my favourite to secert to keep

Steal my breath catch me off guard.
Pull me close hold me tight.
Live after midnight.
Touch the deepest part of my heart.
Take me to the brink of ecstasy.
Leave me breathless.

It doesn't matter how hard I try
I can't lose the ones who need losing.
I am not sure god hears me.
Because this pain isn't going away.

I just want my mind to lay still
So I can breathe and sleep.
I am fed up of dying and crying.
My heart can't take the beating.

I am tired of pretending everything
Is fine when it's not.
I'm just trying to remember how to
Smile for awhile.

There's no going back to the way
I use to be that hurts even more.

She wears her heart on her sleeve.
Hides behind her smile.
Wondering if she has a place in this world.
She doesn't mind if they underestimate her.
She has heard it all before.

My heart is empty and numb.
The ones who should care don't care.
Would it really matter if I wasn't here?.

Time can be a healer and a killer
Either way nothing will
Ever be the same

People will always come into your
Life making you love them.
But it is how they leave that stays with you

I am hopeless in love with a memory
Of how you use to make me
Smile.

Look up from your phone
what do you see.

Normal I am not broken I am.
The pills don't work they never do.
A mind that is dull and numb.
Can't feel can't think.
Words that are never heard.
I stopped crying long ago.

Forget what people think and say.
Know your own self worth and know
That you are enough

They never notice my tears
Or my sadness.
My words are never heard.
But they always notices my mistakes

I have known grief and pain.
Been down many times.
Cried in the darkness of the night.
Watched lairs spin their Web.
Nothing really lasts forever does it?.
My little sister says love never dies
But I don't know if that is true.
Scattered lines and thoughts have now
Become a poem.
My mind has been taken over by the
Faces I can't see anymore.

My head is full of words I can't write.
Everyday feels the same.
Stressing over everything nothing ever being good enough,
Sweet beautiful lies.
There's a little bluebird in my heart
Thats longing to be free, from this Heartache and sadness finding
Somewhere new to start again.

I watched the puppet master
Control his puppet.
I tried to open the puppets eyes but he
Never saw what I saw.

The day finally came when your
Name didn't make me smile
Anymore.

Your the little face who is always
Happy to see me.
The little one who wants a hug.
Who's laugh brightens up
A bad day.
I never I knew I could love anyone
This much.

I have always been the glue that
Kept everything together.
The net could caught ones who fell.
The shoulder that anyone could lean on.

Maybe I don't want to be the glue
That holds everything together.
Maybe I am tired of be the net that caughts people when they fall.
Maybe find another shoulder to lean on.

Because when I needed someone to
Be my glue no one wanted to do it.
When I needed a net to catch me
They let me fall.
When I needed a shoulder to lean
On, there was no shoulder for me
To lean on.

Don't come looking for me because
I won't be there.
Don't text me because I won't text back.
Don't call me because I won't
Answer.

Is it sad that I was born into my
Trap and I don't mind it anymore.

We both wanted that happy ending
That only exists in the movies.
Chasing dreams.
Watching sunsets holding hands.
Sharing sweet kisses.
The highs where high and the lows
Where low.
Missing pieces and shatter dreams.
I wonder where you are now.

Life is a balance of holding on
Letting go and trying again.

I am not wrong for not believing the
Same thing as you.
We see the world in a different way.
This poem isn't about you.

I am wrong for being real and not hiding behind a lying mask.
You know what I am broken and
In a dark place.

You look at me with shameful eyes.
Do you think I wanted this.
Do you think I wanted to be battle with anxiety and depression.

I doubt everything you said
Because it is as fake as you.

I let my guard down letting you in.
Believed the dream you sold.
The doubt in my mind gets louder.
I read your messages.
I hear your voice in my dreams but i
Am not sure if it's the real you.
Sometimes I wish that I never answered Your message.
Then I wouldn't feel like this you
Were someone I once loved.

Do you think I wanted to be
This broken?.
Spend everyday fighting the same
Tried old battle.

Trying to keep myself away from
That dark place in my mind.
Trying to keep the smile on my lips.
Trying to being strong.

I can't sugar Coat my feelings
So you don't need to deal with it.
Come sit in the darkness of my mind with me but I know you won't.

I never wanted attention I just
Wanted you to hug me.

The sting of tears kiss my eyes.
Your words cut like a knife.
I have been shining longer more than you have ever seen.
I have fought more fights and came
Out with the scars.
Never tell me its my time to shine.
I have never stopped shinning.

I love to watch the ones who are
Acting fake everyday.
Chasing perfection that doesnt
Exist yet they call me crazy.

Sitting alone writing these words
Thinking about you.
Sometimes I can hear your voice
In my dreams, I am  not sure if it
Is the real you or not.
When you lose someone
They are gone and they are never
Coming back.
I wish that wasn't true.
I wish that this was just a horrible dream and i would wake up,
But I know it is not a dream.

I have never been a Saint or angel.
I have made mistakes.
Watched the snakes tell there lies.
I don't believe the same as you.

I stopped going to chruch I couldn't
See all the fake faces.
Have them preaching at me.
Telling me I am wrong.

Wrong because I don't believe the same as them.
Wrong because I can confess my sins
And not cover them up.

I didn't stop believing I just open
My eyes to the fake face and smiles.

Poetry is my medicine

A cry for help not heard.
I wish I could have stopped you
From hurting yourself.
I wish I could heal the cuts and make
Them go away.

I blame you.
For the dreams that died.
For the love that i will never have.
For the smile that you took from me.
I wanted to fly far away but you
Burnt my wings keeping me
In the cold darkness.
I blame you for killing me.

Somedays I am happy laughing
And full of jokes.
The life and soul of party.
Other days I want the darkness
Just to take me from the
Misery

Do you die trying while known
That glory is close?.
What if neither your head or
Your heart are right?.
Is there really an in between or
Does it have to be all or nothing?.

The moment I fell in love with you
I broke my own heart

I feel the pressure building.
Screaming louder and louder,
But no one hears me.
No more do I want to fight the darkness,
Because I am too broken for that

The first impression is the
Real impression.

The more I look at people
The more I see their true colours,
Not all colours are pretty.

The light at the end of the
Tunnel is switched off,
Until further notice.
Please enjoy the darkness and
The sound of silence.

The first time I saw your face
I felt my world move and my
Heart shake.
Never have I seen anything as perfect
As you are.
Yes I know it is wrong to love you
But I can't help it.
Your always on my mind day and night.
I have never felt anything like.

Is the one thing that is worth dying for
Worth living for?.

He took my heart.
Not knowing what he had done.
Leaving me in the dark.

Why does everything have to
Happen all at once.
Meet the perants settle down before
Time.
Rush to have the perfect home start
A family to keep everyone happy.
Why doesn't anyone just slow
Down and just breathe?.

Compliants about everything.
Time wasited eyes roll.
Isn't it just better to just do what,
Needs to be done without,
All the complaining.