He watches the news for hours.
She watches videos that says this
Virus is not real its a hoax.
They never can explain why the
Death count keeps on rising.
Instead they blame politicians
And Bill Gates.
She believes the vaccine has a
Chip in it while he says  its made
From dead babies.
Angry when say its not real once
More.
My response is.
Tell that to everyone who has lost
Someone that this is not real.
Tell those front line hero's this
Is not real.
Telling them both to share no
More narrow minded views with me
Because this is very real.

The
Voice of
Self doubt gets
Louder with every last
Whisper

Feeling envious
Of the butterfly who flys
To a freedom I'll never know.

Teach me to forget beauty such as his.
Let not these eyes gaze upon his warm smile
It's no lie nor a secret, the recalls
of his tender torso still feeds my desire.
When he and I meet on the edge of dreams,
We live in moments I won't remember.
If you must sigh and roll your eyes at me.
Show me another love as fair as him.
The thought of life without him tortures me.
Would one kiss be such an illicit deed?
Do you recall butterflies' cheering wings?.
Mock me if you must, by showing me it is
nothing other than unrequited love.
I've seen people waiting for empty hope.
He fires me to dream of him, does this make
me a fool?, or just a woman in love

Spare me the lecture!!!.
I know that I fall in love alone.
But this isn't a feeling that you
Can turn off.

I wish that i had never laid
My eyes on that man.
Hating myself for being unable
To let him go.

I can't think.
I can't breath.
I can't dream of someone else.
Maybe I deserve the pain.

I shouldn't answer his message.
But this sick love as you call it
Is better thank having nothing.
Call me crazy tell me it's on my head.

Just because I can't be with him.
It does mean that this love just
Dies because it doesn't die.

If I am honest....
I don't want tomorrow to come.
Because i know it will be full of
The suffocating people.

Who never listen to me.
Rubbing on anothet fake smile.
Wondering if God listens to
My cry for help.

Theres days where that I don't
Want to wake up.
Wishing I could stay in a dream.
Where I am happy and free.

Confessing my sins.
Preying for a way out.
Feeling as if there is no
Way out.

Spilling my heart onto empty
Lines trying to ease the pain.
Looking for a get out of jail
Free card.

Close to giving up because
Everytime I find happiness I lose it.
Everytime I find hope it fades.
Now I no longer know what to do.

Tonight I will prey once again.
In the hope he hears my cry for help.

Men have always been taught
They need to be strong.
That real men don't cry society
Made them suffer in silence.

Men suffer twice as hard as women
Do, they feel that need to be strong
For us.
Isn't time to change that damaging message?.

Shouldn't we teach young minds that
It's okay to cry and not be okay?.
Shouldn't we say to men hey its okay
Not to be strong and share your feelings.

Men have feelings to even if they
Hide it and won't agree.

Don't tell anyone but....
But I can't not hold back the gates
Of my heart any longer.
His sweet honey voice calls to me.

The war within rages like a forest fire.
His sparkling blue eyes.
The roundness of hips lured me
Into another world.

My racing heartbeat shook my core.
Stealing the breathe from my lips.
He calls me into the midnight darkness
To dance.

I can't work out how he does it
But every road taken leads me to him.

A starless sky wrapped in an empty dream.
I remember the days where your smile was like a fine wine I loved.
Now it's left a bad taste in my mouth.
In my heart hangs a votive wreaths
Of old withered memories.
Your voice no longer shakes the
Ocean of my sleep.
You where a lesson this comic universe wanted to teach me.
Now all I want to do is forget I ever
Loved you.

The unforgettable wild stare in his eyes
The tenderness in his raspy voice,
His slow lingering touch melts my core
The caress of his lips on my neck,
The rising heat consumes me
He knows he has me right where he wants me,
Pushed on to the bed.
Lying naked before his wicked his smile,
One last look taken,
One last touch felt,
One last kiss tasted,
He left me lying on the bed in a heated mess.

Writing by candle light walking
In a garden of shadows,
Living for the darkness,
Playing his temptress,
The heated touches,
The caress of his lips against mine,
Dices rolled lines crossed,
The roundness of his hips,
The deep honey coated tone of his voice.
Had me pulling his head back just
to steal a kiss.
He makes me forget about the
World outside.

It's easy to forget.
It's easy to over look mens feelings.
Watching while they pretend to be strong.
Forgetting that they suffer just as much as
A woman does.
Women talk men hide their feelings
Because they have to be strong.
Hiding their pain.
Trying to keep everything together.
A smile to hide the weakness.
Taught to just bottle it up and keep
Going suffering in silence.
But your not weak.
Your strong it takes a lot show your pain.
We need to show men that its okay to cry
And you don't always have to be strong.
We all need someone to walk with us
And show the way, and men are no different.
Sometimes saying hi how are you can change
Someone's day.
We need show men it's okay to feel pain and it's okay to fall part.
We need to teach young boys and girls
That you can be strong and weak.
We need to teach them that asking for help
Is not a bad thing.
So to all men that on a journey and trying to
Find their way back to being them self's again.
Your not weak and you find the light in the darkness just hold on tight.

Let down all my life.
No encouraging words.
Left with a bad taste in my mouth.
You where not the greatest father.
You where the greatest con man.
A slide of hand a well polished lie
Everyone swollwed.
Now all the fathers day reminds
Me of how you where never there.
You knew more about other people's kids than you knew about me.
I wasn't a boy called Stephen.
I was a girl called Stephanie.
But I still wasn't enough for you.
You left me out of everything.
Never once did you buy me a new toy.
Never once did you take me out.
Instead you acted like i was a punching bag.
Something to hit when people didn't
Like you, and could hit my mum
Because it would be hard to explain another black eye.
So I will raise a glass to you.
The worldest greatest con man and
Say thanks for nothing.
Because that's all I ever learn from you.

Feeling numb and empty.
Surrounded by masked faces
I no longer know.
They greet you with a fake smile.

They ask how are you and then
Look their phone.
Not waiting for you to answer.
So i say everything is fine.

Pouring my heart on to blank lines
Of my notebook.
Happy when night come because
I can escape for a while.

The world is falling apart two
Black life's taken.
Yet they tell me to cheer up
That it is not my problem.

We are living in a fake society
Where its okay to live a lie, and
Judge anyone who doesn't fit
Into that mould.

Haven't you notice how every picture
Has a smile that tells a thousand lies.
My friends look at each other and
Say #letstakeaselfie.

Feeling like a paper boat on a lake
Wondering if I belong anywhere.

Smile for the camera.
Pose like your enjoying the moment.
Show teeth but don't show to much.
Talk but don't talk to much.
Saying anything just not what's on
Your mind.
Be anything you want to be
Just don't be you.
Have some of light but you
Can't have it all.
You can be seen just don't be heard.
Look down and not up that's not for
You.
I am doing this to protect you.
It's for your own good.
Ties cut bridges burnt.
Leaving without looking back
Now I can be whatever I choose to be.

I stick my foot in it so many times.
I sometimes speak before I think.
I sometimes make mistakes.
Make the wrong call.
Mistake a male poet for a woman
Laying in bed dying with embrassment.
Just know that my heart is in
The right place.

Her words still linger in my head.
Now she is being the great pretender.
Its all mellow smiles and happy moods until the last puff is taken.

It's hard to forget when someone says
I want to **** myself everyday.
Now today they are full of a high but
It is not on life.

She tells me the **** helps.
But I fear it is doing more damage
Than good.
Because life's problems are put on
Hold.

Then the bone crushing fall to reality
With a bang happens.
We find out selfs back to the start
A over again.

I can help but wonder.
Am I the bad guy for saying this
Running away does not fix things?.
Am I the bad guy for saying covering
Your ears causes more harm than good.

Day by day as minds become wasted
The more drug dealers win.

I will never know,
What it feels like to kiss his lips,
And feel my heart race,
When he calls my name.

I will never know,
The feel of his hands dancing
On my skin under the silver moon
Light of midnight.

I will never know,
How feels to wrapped up in his
Soul feeding on each soft moan,
He drops into my mouth.

I will never know,
How it feels to drown in his
Dark blue eyes, and swimming
In the beauty that most people
Never get to see.

They will always be unknown
Pleasures I will never feel,
Yet I still love him bound to him
As if he is my twin flame.

You can lock yourself away,
Pretend that everything is fine
Bury your head in the sand
While a acting as of nothing
Really matters anymore
I have been down the same road
I have learn from experience
That hiding does nothing
The problem still testers and grows
The depression get worse by the day
You can run if you like but just know
This you will be running forever
Push everyone away if you want
I will always be the villain in your
Story but just know that hiding
Achieves nothing
There's no shame in saying I
Need help.

It's time to end the suffering.
It's time to say this is not right.
I don't know if there was ever
An American dream.

Every black life matters.
See pass colour because
Our blood is all the same.

Untwist your mind open your
Eyes and look at the hate that's
Festering like a cancer.

Another black life is taken but
He will not die in vain.
Your skin colour should never
Be a death Warren.

Is this making America great again?.
You can call it by another name
****** is still ******.

Sitting under a sea of stars,
Searching the black velvet sky
For lost dreams of you
Whispers of your poems are carried
On the gentle summer breeze
Reminding me that I can only
Have you dreams
The unending nights
Your smooth moves
Hot and heavy kissed
Touches that burning my skin
The witch laugh and cackles
She takes pleasure from my pain
She listens for the sound
my heart breaking 
She places one last curse upon me
To see nothing but your eyes
In each dream I have
Now all we share is the night
like the moon and the stars
We are miles apart and I am
Left never to feel the one touch i
Crave the most.

My heart is heavy and
I can't breath.
Home feels like a prison
Without the bars.
Nine weeks of lockdown
Is finally getting to me.
My mind is fragile.
Walking in dreams.
Escaping this jaded reality.
The news pushes Bill gates
Dangerous vaccine.
Listening to my family agruing
Over 5G and of this virus is real is or not.
While I am just trying to keep my
Head above the water, and keep the wolf away from the door.
Turning off the news because I really
Don't want to hear it anymore.
All I know is this thing is pulling my family apart day by day.

A silent misery sitting in a golden cage.
Watching the day's passing by
My heart feels like an over flowing astray
Listening to another dead man's tale
Dreaming of the moment where I can
Get on that highway to tomorrow
Leaving this day behind.

A heavy heart.
A mind close to breaking
Been strong for to long
Scared to say no I am not okay
Painting on a fake smile upon my lips Playing the part of the happy clown
Who is never sad when they don't see you crying in the darkness
All they ever see the happy lies you keep telling everyone.
I just wish someone would love
Me as I am and give me wings to fly
And say i will take care of you

Suffocating long days and cold nights.
I can't think I can't breath
They didn't understand that I wasn't waving I was Drowning fighting
To keep my head above the water
But still they thought i was waving
What If I just stop fighting and dream
Would be now be a good time to close
My eyes and never get up.

Your letters.
Are what guides me through the day
Giving me hope when mines is fading
Watching half broken stars still trying shine
Wishing I was alone in your arms
Counting the days until I see those beautiful
Blue eyes that me make fall all over again
Writing poems by candlight while making you
Live on each line that I write.

Honestly.
I have grown tired of you
Sitting a bed catching rust
Never stepping outside
But you complain about how
Bad everything is
You like to feel pain
You don't want to be happy
Your stuck in a nightmare that
Won't end I won't say I told you so
Rolling my eyes because nothing
Ever changes with you
The money never lasts the days are gone in a puff of smoke
There's wine bottle every where
So yes I am tired or you.

Wear a super glue smile.
Takes these magic pills
Snap out of it
Your just acting it now
Push your way through the pain
This didn't happen in my day
Fit into society's mould
Crying is weak get a grip
Pull your self together
Keep your head down
This is not how women act
Your too loud
Your too quiet
I am putting another pointless post
On Facebook so you need to wait
And they wonder why I don't open up to anyone

I never meant to fall this hard.
In over my head the lust consumes me
Lost in rose-petal day dreams of you
Our eyes meet my heart skips a beat

Running into the black satin darkness
Another secret to keep but I can't douse these flames anymore
Your touch your kiss

Wrapped in the contours of your body
Your lips on my neck loving the way
Your tongue runs through my soul
My heart races brought to my knees

Wanting more begging you not to stop
Watching the fire rage in your eyes
Giving into this lustful moment
An ******* shudder rolls down my spine

Loving the way you always wraps your arms round my tremble body when we are finished.

Our minds meet our hearts throb.
Giving into desires burning flames
Your hands on my hips your warm
Whisper that Lingers in my ear
I am lost in this forbidden moment
Naked minds our souls entwine
Each touch fills me with euphoria
Drowining in your eyes
you the lick the deepest parts that
You know so well fireworks are
Bursting in my mind my body
Offers its self to you as if you where a
Greek god going with the flow twitching
Hips shaking bodies I can feel it coming
My back archs and I howl to the moon
The moment is gone and I am left wearing
Nothing but the smile you gave me

He walked out the sea like a Greek god. watching as his wet flawless skin glistened, under the summer sun.
He seduced my mind he touched me with me with words.
Engulfed by desires flames he had my heart, from that moment on.
Captivated by Salacious thoughts.
He had me feeling things only my heart could understand.
Body kisses, neck kisses, breathless bites he made my body tremble.
He gave me a warmth that I've spent a lifetime looking for.

Soft wild whispers, Salacious thoughts
That fills every last inch of my mind.
Every touch sets my soul on fire.
Each kiss feels as if it was my first kiss.
My heart flutters my head spins.
Is this love? Or just an infatuation?.
You walk out of the sea your wet flawless skin, glistens in the sun.
Writing a message to you that never gets sent in the end.
Loathing myself for these feelings of a burning desire.
You had to keep the fire burning in me.
Sleepless nights tormented dreams, needing to get your face out of my mind.
Wrapped in chains a slave to your love, that please you.
Kept in a cold silence you didn't say I couldn't love you, or I shouldn't love you at all.
I am nothing more than your favourite slave.