I used denial for so long
It was my breath and life and love
But now....when the're all gone
and the silence builds up like cold cruel snow
Burrying everything
Now she's made me start to see
the world through her eyes
I know the patterns, cried my heart out
Is there anything left inside?
The truth will rip you apart, set you free
It's the pain that truely makes you see.

Many leaves one tree
But in the end every leaf
Falls and dies
Alone

For everything you do is done to please me
Curled hands in to fists when I would never stay
Said if you love me leave me be
But you needed to back away
I watched as you started to see
That I was just radioactive decay
Nothing but sharp rocks and sliding scree
And there was nothing between us but Judgment day

You couldn't help her
It's not your fault she wasn't meant for this
She didn't mean to hurt you
Didn't intend to do you harm

You tried hard to be there
Through the storms and the seasons
The deaths and the births
But you were always static
Easily tuned out

She said she had to find out for sure
Didn't say goodbye, left trinkets on the doorstep
She didn't even knock before going
Desperate for a change she said

It's not your fault she left
Not because you weren't there
You were when you could
No one could've asked so much of you

You tried until you failed again
Years passed and you're still not good at this
People change too quickly to grab hold of
Couldn't hold her back if you tried too

People are always leaving
You knew this before you were born
Your sister lost herself in the woods
Your Mama stopped the emptiness with a train

Surely it wasn't on purpse they fled
Just a chance you were passed along hands
Played with and loved, safe until you weren't
A throw away kind of freind

She was everything
The light on the blades of grass in the morning
The moves and swirls of sunshine
Your world defined in a coat of gold

You had no one
A steady stream of faces that were gone with the tide
No one was ever tied to you
Always you to them, bound with thread

She became a boulder to hold
Carry with you in your pocket
An anchor with a beating heart
Keeping you tethered in this life

It's not your fault she's gone like autumn leaves
That everyone's been clammering to escape
The world and you too
They're just tired of this place

Don't cry for those that went
They're happier without you to take up space
You were just a bug to be squashed
An inchworm who couldn't crawl

Trouble happens around corners
You couldn't see it brewing in the distance
Didn't do anything to keep them safe
They choose their paths away

You'll just need to live again
Paint a smile across your face to hide the fear
Cover up the scars and scratches
Remake your world withought her

You'll be alright in the end
Though the grass might dance above your head when it all ends
There's those who've made do with less
You should feel blessed at one more lifeless day

And in the end you were just
A **** growing in the flowers
A bad seed that strangled all you held dear
Leftover when the leaving starts

But it's not your fault
Oh my dear it's not your fault
You can't be what you are not
This was never about you sweet heart

It's not your fault and neither is she

You were a little light all made of ice
Folly personified
Gold and young and breakable
Nails and screams could never touch you
Sharp white smile in the dying light
Blew you out like a candle that day
Goodbye, good riddence
Bad rubish they say

It's never made sense how things change
Sudden as a storm or slow as years
This time there's no one to really turn to.
There never really was and who's fault is that?
Fragile like proceiln, fragile like skin.
We're only human and that's not enough to grow on.
How quickly happy turns to sad,
To longing and to tears for something that's not missing
But definatly lost along the way.
Throat, eyes, skull and heart.

Heavy.
Tired.
Breakable.
*How can I change what I feel if I don't even know?