I guess I still care
I guess you can call me a liar.
Because that's what I do, I lie.
I lie to you. I lie to him. But most importantly, I lie to me.
Taylor swift once told me that when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them.
She said my first kiss will make my head spin round. That I'll do greater things than dating the guy on the football team.
But dear Taylor, I didn't date the guy on my high-school football team.
I dated the older guy from work.
for six months.
fighting with myself to justify what I was doing.
Asking myself if I even wanted this.
Asking him if he regretted me because in all reality I just wasn't her.
I should have gave up Taylor.
But I didn't.
I pushed myself to trust him. To make myself older in so many ways.
I should have gave up Taylor.
I should have dated the guy on my high- school football team.

Do you ever feel like life's not fair
that what goes up will never come down because there's no more air
You're afraid of what you don't know because of what you do know
and You hate the way you look in a mirror yet you wonder three times a day;
about the shape of your hair
the dimple on your side cheek
how many layers today?
You wonder.
Maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day
maybe you'll find a lucky penny or scribble your pain away.
How many times do you have to fall before the last ledge?
What's the number between 2 and 20
Could you be 18 when you're 8.
How about 8 when you're 18?
It's a possibility that growing up will be harder than dying.
There's a yellow spot on my elbow
red dots on my pillow
my world is getting quite colorful.
I suppose that's why it's harder for my body to keep on running.
Time is inevitable;
which makes infinity a lie.
and Hope breeds eternal misery
because expectation is the root of all heartache
you can't justify every reason
|but Don't give up on what you don't understand;

I love the way you talk out of the side of your mouth, like you could somehow reel the words you say back in,
throw out a line, before it's too late.
I wrap my arms around you before you can react and it's just my way of saying that
I love the syllables, the speech that softens your expression,
the fox-light in your eyes
and your curved lips on mine.

I never loved you

I never even really liked you that much

You were just a boy that was there, that was nice

That’s all just a boy

I just wanted to be a girl

I wanted us to be like leeches, like parasites

We get what we wanted and then fall off

And that’s what I did but you

You refused to leave, you grew attached

you said it’s over you said I’m done

But you were the one that wasn’t leaving

And when I did you followed me

You aren’t a very good leech