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I watch my mother
Watch the colorful static buzz
Out of my television Set.
It was a show about dancing and synchronized steps
Bending bones
And malleable movements.
The screen was painted
With graceful bodies
And it echoed of
hip hop music
And I watch my mother
Scratch her head cause
She could never really get her
hips to hop
And she didn't know how that was different from
the pop
and the lock
and the shuffle
and the dougie
And I heard her murmur under her breath
"This is my biggest frustration"

I guessed that's what people say
When they just can't get something Right.
When
The feeling
The longing
The want is in them,
But their body
Still tells them to trip over their
Two left feet
When they watch
The way I watch my mother
Want to be a dancer

And I watch my mother
shake it off
and smile
and change the channel
And it is the saddest thing in the universe to me
That she could just forget
that one thing
she so desperately wanted to be.

You
Are my biggest frustration.
That no matter how hard I seem to try
I just couldn't get you right.
I swear, staring at you
Makes my eyelashes
Flutter a hip hop beat like no other
But you just can't dance
To music you can't hear
And you can't see
This amazing
Choreography
I have mapped out for us in my head
I know you're great at that.
You can
Pop
Lock
Shuffle and dougie
as far away as possible from me.
But just like my mother who couldn't get her hips to hop,
I couldn't get you lips
To talk about
Anything that wasn't her
And I know your mouth can speak
But why are you so at loss for words
When the lyrics come
Are my syllables not worth your breath,
Is my rhythm not worth your
step
Because
I promise you I try to catch up
But I trip over my two left feet
When I see your eyes glisten
When you watch her
The way my mother watches the dancers and I know you wanna be with her

So you finally hear my music
Or so I am convinced that you do.

And you shuffle
And take each graceful step
To the beat of
The wrong heart

But I just can't change the channel.
I can't smile and shake it off
Because I have to wait and see
If there'll ever be a time
You'd dance to me.
I hope to perform this one day.
 Jul 2014 Sofia Paderes
brooke
Just.
 Jul 2014 Sofia Paderes
brooke
back then he would
tell me that he was
born with a specific
purpose, made for
one reason, with a
smile, with a water
color painting,

*just to love you,
brooke.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014.

I wonder.
It was a sunny bright day yet
I wore a trunk coat filled with holes,
boots that were about to rip off my feet,
and clothes underneath that were caked
with dirt from where we lived

My brazen face of dirt
with a bit of hope and love,
I walked in the grocery store
In all its 5 story glory manned by
Revolving glass doors and smiling attentive people

Only to be greeted with smiles that were wider (than normal)
as their widened eyes revealed
a scared and surprised Soul
fearful of
The Storm of my Past

As if on cue,
the burliest of shadows smacked me to the ground
with a thump like a delivery of a fresh sack of rice
Propping myself up, I was met with cold steel dark rings
that bound my skinny, bony wrists.

NO! NO! NO!
For the 10th of my daughter
A cold sweet treat
The last of its kind
in exchange for every possession in my being

What else is there I could ask for?


"Education has failed me, I've been locked up for a decade, my daughter hasn't spoken to me, I have asked for nothing but have received everything. Simplicity was all I wanted." -Diary of the Mistaken Man"
A message behind a fictional story.
 Jul 2014 Sofia Paderes
Jedd Ong
These                                                                       (this) are

                                              (is)

(:a poem;
                                    For yOu.)

                                                                                      (Whom i hAvE)

                                 (been nursing)
                                          
                        ( B             h                  e
                              u          c            r
in                                     a     T                                            My
                                  T    m
                             f        o          l
                       i               t                e
                                         s)


butterflies—they glow
              For you,                                     {they've spared me some cold,

chilly

nights}

              <goodby>                they're yours now.

                                                                                                              
                                                                                                            <goodby>
Butterflies. Haha. I was never great at drawing.
Drag me down to the bottom of my glass
And let the burn of the whisky make everything I say
True

Drag me down to the sleeves of my sweater
And let them filter my words
Beautiful

Drag me down to the soles of my shoes
And let the steps I take towards you forever be
Worthy

Drag me down to the curl of my lips
And let my harmless smirks stay
Humble

Drag me down into your heart
And let my roots remain
Forever
 Jul 2014 Sofia Paderes
brooke
out in the
pasture I
keep my
wool and
graze in
the tall
grass
discontent
with the paths
that make no
sense, please,
find

me.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
 Jul 2014 Sofia Paderes
brooke
on

old oaken tables I'll love
you in dark roast coffee
and steamed milk with
honey, against quilted
beds early morning in
the loft, when the sheets
are loud and the floorboards
aren't awake, when the windows
are dewy, we won't speak about
our mistakes.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
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