Seeing others in pain
Is as hard as seeing yourself the exact same way
Seeing the one you love with looks of disdain
At the failing use of a razorblade
Agony all hurts the same
I wish there was another way
To avoid unwashable stains
Stains of lines
Lines of red
Red leaking down
From our arms that previously bled

Sounds of screeching rhythms sounds inside a dungeon of a mind
Am i hallucinating or am i sleeping fine ?
Prisoners banging drums , revels to the night
Souls flying high completely free of fright
But plummeting back down to the safety of your bed
Your heart will fall slower than it previously bled
Don't pursue your dismal chords
Dont fake being happy with a heart that is scorned
Do! Commit pen to paper
Let your feelings erode the jagged edges of your heart
Turn your skin inside out if it means showing who you really are
Because who you are on the inside
Is a soul that has been trying to try

Heartbreaks
A real thing
Whether its accepted in societies book of nonchalaunt figurines or not
And it hurts just like a broken arm , or a broken leg
However the pain tends to linger a bit longer
With broken hearts comes wholesome sadness
In its full force
Until it tips over your tear bucket and your depression comes in oceans
And it's hard to explain
Because it seems that your audience is choosing to be the brain over the heart
Unfair but utterly typical
And you sitting alone in your room
Unmoving
Because pins and needles have become as common as air
And to commit yourself to your heartbreak
Seems equivalent to laying your vulnerabilities bare
So you try to have a mindset like your deaf audience and you say
" Its gravity that's been getting me down "
But you have been down ...
So where are you now ?

Everyday is always the same
The clocks never seem to change
I have trapped myself inside
A purley psychotic paradise

Clad in red , i lay dead roses on mommas grave
I think the doctors killed her because she was going insane
And whenever someone accidentally touches me , it rarely happens
They run away screaming , acting like paranoia is radioactive

And it makes me sad to have no friends worthy to ****
Constantly offering dead poppies and drooping daffodils
They help replenish the empty void im trying to fill
But what needs to be refilled is my bottle of antipsychotic ****** bin pills

So when i skip through town hearing people spewing wrath
I run into a man accidentally blocking his path
He is the only person who hasn't looked at me like an infected rat
And the handsome man smiles and says " Your a beautiful psychopath"

Im counting down the ways to go
Days until my mental mess ups will rob my youth
Without permission it took my hair
It took my future
It is taking ME away from my family
But cancer cant give anything back
My bone frame and withering marrow
Causing me to be a flower that refuses to grow
I'm stuck in an underland of sterile sheets and life monitors
On repeat...
Until a day comes by when the sun hadn't yet arose
And the failing use of my heart leaps while it tries to restart
The watchdog that kept tabs on my life starts to screech
Nurses rush in and attempt CPR
Punching their way to my receding heart
When i was alive
The most sad thing i encountered was the fact that ice cream was bottemless
That was when i realized there was nothing they could do
Ice Cream cant save lives !
Yet the nurses had the audacity to ask  "One more ?"
Arsenals of shots and tests
For nothing
Terminal cancer is a hateful coward