at 30,000 feet in the air
i collapsed
my heart sank
my legs gave out
and i stopped breathing
you filled my thoughts
you filled my veins
you filled my eyes
you told me
that i would never see you
ever again
and that was enough
enough to **** me
at 30,000 feet in the air
i realized that love
is about never wanting to lose
the person who makes your heart beat

New love has given me life.
It has given me new eyes and ears.
A new heart and fresh blood in my veins.

You woke up my soul.
You're an amazing alarm.

Let go of anger
Anger will not let go of you
You have to tell it
To leave you alone
It is easy to hold onto anger
To keep it in your back pocket
But realize that anger
Hurts you more than them

even when she's gone
she still makes me smile
it's funny because
there are people
who once made you smile
when they weren't around
but then they left for good
and made that smile disappear
but someone came along
and made the smile reappear
in the blink of an eye
they lit another fire
inside your soul
and we can only hope
hope that they stay this time

thinking she won't leave
is the biggest mistake
you could ever make
she will not stay
if you don't give her
a reason to stay
if you don't give her effort
she is as good as gone

She gazed at him
As if he was a sunset
Not knowing
He would one day
Set fire to her heart
And leave it in ashes
For the next boy

As I lay dying
On this tennis court
My heart in my hands
My thoughts on the stands
Tears starting to form
And I realize it's over
But I still want you
Still want your love
And affection, and jokes
And your touch, and sarcasm
The things that made me melt
Made me believe that I knew
What love really is
But now I lay here
On this tennis court
At two in the morning
And I realize that I didn't try hard enough
I didn't call enough
Didn't show you off
Never told the whole world about you
Like I should have
And now it has come back
To bite me where the sun doesn't shine
Because as every person
Who falls in love finds out
At some point in their life
Love isn't the feeling
In your heart when you find someone special
It's the feeling in your veins
When that person you fell in love with
Is no longer a drug that you can fill your blood with

before i met her
i wasn't a morning person
i despised mornings
and everything about them
but after she crashed landed into my life
and built a house in my heart
i wake up every morning
and smile for a while
because she is my first thought
when i open my eyes in the morning
and now i love mornings
because i have her to think about
and that alone, is enough for me

Getting led on
Is the worst
It's like getting on a roller coaster
Slowly going up the long steep incline
Your heart ready to exit your ribcage
Your stomach ready to plummet faster than the ride
Then just before the roller coaster drops
A gigantic soccer cleat appears out of thin air
And kicks you off the ride

there is never
a right time
there is only now or never
time doesn't exist
but death does
so before they bury you
tell them you love them
show them you love them
laugh until you collapse
speak up, speak out
love more
fight less
smile hard
frown less
be honest, open and forgiving
because you don't have time
you only have death
and it is waiting for you
around every corner

i try to think about anything else
besides you
but it's hard.

how can i think about anything else
besides you
when you
were my everything?

i needed to make a change
i was doing it all wrong
the fights became frequent
every other day it was something new
i realized that most of it was my fault
in fact, all of it
was my fault
so i made a change
i stopped making excuses
stopped telling her what i would do
and started doing it
for her, and for myself
i realized that we wouldn't make it
if i continued to treat her like that
if i continued to sink our ship

A little boy
Looked at the cuts on her wrists
She quickly crossed
Her arms behind her back
Tears entered his eyes
And he said
“My older sister used to have those, she forgot how to be happy”

The sun no longer shines
Maybe it does, but it does not shine in my world
My world is filled with dark days and darker nights
The moon still goes to work at night
It has not left me yet
It still follows me around like it did when I was little
But the sun refuses to shine anymore
I want to get out of this darkness
Before it consumes me for good

jesus?
god?
mom?
anyone?
are you out there?
this girl is driving me insane
why do i love her so much?

i wish she would just fall off the face of the earth and...
no, no, no, i take that back
why must everything be so difficult?

is this what love is?
this burning sensation in my soul?
this burning sensation running through my veins?

or am i just angry and unable to control my anger?
we will fight for a bit
then i will get over it, but she won't

so i will have to comfort her
and assure her that she is mine
and assure her that my love for her hasn't left the building

just because i get mad
doesn't mean i stop loving her
it means i am human and go ballistic sometimes

do not enter my soul, it is a black hole
you don't have a map, you won't know where to go

do not enter my heart, it is cold
unless you bring a jacket, because everything has froze

do not enter my mind, it is old
weathered by weary thoughts, that fall down like dominoes

do not enter my veins, for they are roads
leading to my heart, where everything has froze

if i could snap my fingers

and have her in my arms

that snap would make sparks fly

and light the entire world on fire

for the rest of eternity

and although we would die

at least i would get to hold her

just one last time

nights are the worst
when the thoughts come in
from every angle
and i have no chance
of getting any sleep.

my problems become larger than life.
my past comes back to haunt me until i wish i was dead.
and i forget to breathe.

her mind
is chaotic to say the least
her voice
is as soothing as the sea
her hair
is as soft as clouds
her laugh
roars like thunder
her smile
shines like a million suns
her eyes
see through my soul
her ears
can hear the slightest bit of uncertainty in my voice
her hands
hold my heart
her arms
hold me when i need them to
her hips
are wide and beautiful
her legs
are short to say the least
her toes
are her biggest insecurity
which bothers me
so i tell her i love them
a million times per day
because i want her to love everything about herself
as i do, and always will

the waves in her mind
crash against her trust issues
as if thoughts of heartbreak
rest along the shoreline

painful memories from her past
live in her head like lyrics from love songs
she'll never forget the melodies of

skeletons in her closet, are catching dust
next to broken dreams of a perfect relationship
with someone who won't let her fall flat on her face
when she falls madly in love with them

reality keeps her up late at night
forever reminding her how fatal love can be
and what can happen if she loses herself
trying to find someone
who will make her heart beat right, again

don't say it, i've heard it before

that word, which rolls off the tongue

as quickly as rain runs down window panes

forever, can be temporary

it can be a single moment

forever is scary, when you approach its meaning

don't say it, unless you mean it

i've heard it before

again and again, and once more

the last time i heard "forever"

"forever" lasted several months, until it was over

and even the one, who assured me eternity was in our future

had fled from my life, into someone else's

i guess, "forever" had a different definition

than the one found in the pages of a dictionary

saying "forever" is simple

but actually meaning "forever" is in the proof

they are two separate worlds

saying "forever", is in a world of spontaneity

actually meaning "forever", is in a world of endless effort, perseverance

along with blood, sweat, and few tears along the way

saying "forever", will leave you lonely someday

actually meaning "forever", will make you feel whole, and feel loved

words have no meaning, if they do not match actions

actions have all of the meaning, they are the proof

they are the truth

they are forever

distance can't break us
we must stay strong
the days will be long
and the nights will be longer
they will seem endless
until we see each other
don't lose hope
if you do
then i will have nothing
tell me you will try
for me and for you
for us
tell me that you won't give up
so i know that this will not
end as badly as i think it will

the last time we ate together
we ate at a diner
i had eggs benedict
you had mozzarella sticks
it was four in the morning
and we didn't care about anything
but each other and our stomachs
it was sad
because i would be leaving you
and there was nothing i could do
but for that hour we spent
the world seemed perfect
even though it was crashing down
all around us
and there was nothing we could do

In the end
All we had left
Were shattered hopes
And broken promises
Mixed with fragile frames of mind
That held wild thoughts
About love and loss
Which we both found out
Go hand in hand sometimes

i found fragments of bullets

inside of me this morning

they've been there since the day

you shot me in the heart

then proceeded to exit out of my life

without even a goodbye

i never cried once when i thought about you

for days, weeks, months

told myself that everything would be fine

everything would be just fine

but i was lying to myself

as i did when we were together

every day i told myself

that we would last forever

you are miles away
we're separated by rivers, lakes, cities, mountains, highways
and breathing hasn't gotten easier
even when we're together, i know
i will have to leave again
and adjust to life without seeing you every day
which kills me
and takes hold of my lungs
and twists them
until i'm gasping for a breath
gasping for the feeling of your skin on mine
the feeling of your head on my chest
as you listen to my heart beat for you

Bad relationships are good for you
Of course, they will end in disaster
You might lose yourself in the process
But you will be wiser than before
Bad relationships teach us about ourselves
They teach us about what we deserve
And what we do not have to put up with
Sure, we will forever be haunted by people who treated us like toilets
But someday, we will all be gold toilets
Given full attention
Shown respect
Treated with care
Intoxicated by love
We will be the most amazing gold toilets

i woke up
looked at my calendar
looked away
looked back
where did september go?

I can't forget the past
Which shaped the way
My heart currently beats
With such irregularity
Heartbreak is painful
To say the least
But at best
You will never love again
For fear of having
Your happiness shattered
Your heart split in two
Your image of them tarnished
After they find someone
Who they think
Is better suited for them
Than you ever were
And the only thing you can do
Is wish you were dead
Because the person
Who used to make your heart beat
Will be the one
Who rips it out of your chest
And takes it with them
On their way off to forever
Forever, without you

Today, today
I lost my mind
Because of you
And because of me

An explosion, an explosion
Happened somewhere in my mind
Because of harsh words
And quick tempers

We shouted, we shouted
Back and forth
Because of me
And we almost died

Can we, can we
Go on without fighting?
Because fighting destroys us
And I feel sick to my stomach when we battle

Will you, will you
Help me, help you
Because we need each other
And we always will

kiss her heart
cradle her soul
touch her spirit
**** her mind
love her forever

here i go again
pushing people away
hiding from the world
living in a shell
here i go again
refusing to talk to people
walking faster and faster
from place to place
here i go again
being who i used to be
who i swore i would never be again

She's not perfect
But she's perfect for me
She makes me weak
But she gives me strength
She is hot
And cold
Like lava and icicles
Like the sun and the sea

Caring about what people think
Such a waste of time
Why should their opinions matter?
I am who I am
I do what I do
Why should I care about what they say?
I will not remember any of these people
In five years
In ten years
They will not matter then
Why should they matter now?

i don't think you loved me
if you did
you wouldn't have broken me
the way that you did
i've heard that love is pain
but this pain will last forever
and i can't live like this
i can't live with this
i can't do it
i wonder if you loved me
because you said you loved me
but then you left me
and fell in love with someone else
while i was still madly in love with you

there is a fire
brewing in my ribcage
heating up my heart
cooking it for dinner
i can't tell
if this is love
or if this is hate
or a mixture of both
i can't tell

If I had a dollar
For every time I thought about you
Since the day you left me
I would have enough money
To build a machine
That would make me forget
About all the pain you caused me

nighttime
is the best time
the time is always right
when the moon is out
daytime
is the worst time
the time is always wrong
when the sun is out
i would think differently
if i wasn't a vampire
but i am
therefore, i am in love with nighttime
and i am in hate with daytime

Find someone
Who can make you laugh
Even when there are tears
Streaming down your face
Find someone who can make you laugh
Like a hyena
Even when you are mad
And feel like you are going to explode
Find someone who can make you laugh
Like a maniac
You know when you laugh loudly
And can barely breathe and you start clapping or snorting?
If they make you do that a lot
Hold on to them
Laughter is the most important thing
In a relationship
If your relationship is paralyzed
It's because you do not
Make each other laugh anymore

I need you
Like the moon needs the sky
Like the sky needs the stars
I need you
Like the sun needs the sky
Like the sky needs the sun
I need you
Like humans need hearts
Like hearts need blood
I need you
Like you are my drug
Like my drug is alive
And my drug is in love

i live inside my mind
it's a broken home
negative thoughts line the walls
insecurities cook in the kitchen
broken is an understatement
i'm internal
not external
i won't tell you i'm dying
you will see it, feel it, hear it
that's how i am
it's how i'll always be
i don't think i will ever be set free
from myself

time after time

we stood hand in hand

saying forever, saying nice things

maybe we meant them at the time

but time unravels all

and as time went on

those nice things we used to say

seemed like mirages in the distance

while i became monstrous  

and you became distant

we met fire with fire

but only i got burned in the end

I hope you have trouble sleeping at night
I know I do
But I hope you do too
I hope you see my face when you close your eyes
I see yours
But I see it less and less these days
I hope I am getting better
I hope you are getting worse

i think about you
even though i shouldn't
but it happens
heartbreak doesn't go away
it hides sometimes
but it never leaves
it always comes back
to haunt you at night
or dig into your thoughts
during the day
heartbreak is forever
and there is no way around it

love is the only thing
that can **** us
girl, it will **** you
and it will take me with you
if we let it
if we get weak
if we give up
it will **** us
because love doesn't care
it has no mercy
and we can't have any either
lets make it work
today
tomorrow
the day after
the week after
until we are old and grey
and then, and only then
does love have our permission
to take us away

from the moment i saw you
i wanted you
man oh man
i wanted everything to do with you
some how
some way
i knew i would get you
i knew i would
i had to
because i never felt that feeling
i never felt the world stop
never heard my heart scream before
never heard a laugh
as funny as yours
and i knew i wanted that laugh
i wanted everything to do with it

In a year, I will not remember today
In ten years, I will not remember today
In twenty five years, I will not remember today
In fifty years, I will not remember today
But, I will always remember you

People say
That jealousy is a female trait
I beg to differ
Everyone suffers from jealousy
Yes, I said “suffers”
Because jealousy is not a female trait
It is a disease
Wanting to have what someone else has
Wanting to look like someone else
Feeling threatened by someone
Experiencing uncertainty
Those are diseases

if i could snap my fingers
and have you back in my arms
i wouldn't move a muscle
because you cracked my heart in half
and i still haven't recovered
you will never know
because it hasn't happened to you
and i hope it never happens
because putting the pieces
of your heart back together
is harder than any jigsaw puzzle
in the entire universe

bullets don't **** people
neither do stab wounds or blood loss
people who say they love someone
then leave that person forever
are the only things that **** people