Why can I not just leave?
Throwing back bottles of alabaster promises
and sinister ill reprieves.
Caught up in a net of conjugal visits
of past murders, one way drifters, pathetic liars and ***** little thieves.
I am enamored by the poison that
is preached by your careless mind
and heartless sting.
Behind these bars trapped like an animal,
I am all caged up and so please set me free.
Why can't you just walk away ?
instead throwing your insults, your fists
and your sorry *** two faced pleas.

I have become rusty stained, completely drained,
and drop dead vaned.
Gray padded walls enclosed, thrown back hard
with these silly blue pills of
the mentally insaned.
You abused me, bruised me, used me,
and fused me, even God can't
take away my heart felt pain.
Now, stop trying to drive me home
on your *******
mental, abusive, *******, *******
son of *****, crazy train

Can you hear that now?
I believe it is starting to downpour rain.
and I'll say it again to your face many more times
"You are so ******* vain!!"

You think you are better than I am,
with your big, bad, masculine look.
Well here is today's news flash for ya,
Mr. "I Think I Know It All"
"YOU ARE ACTUALLY MUCH MORE WORSE!!"
Oh and one more thing,
Just saying, For Realz,
You are all just one big mouth
with a lot of
"Blah, blah, blah
and
Curse, Curse, Curse"
So you can just go back
to your mommy's house
on the other side town
and steal from her poor, meager purse

I will not be silenced by your idle, childish threats,
your *****, abrasive words no longer scare me
nor will they break down my outer or inner bricks.
My life is not your gambling table,
your poker table,  or your dinner table,
I am no longer willing take on
that deadly life risk.
I will unveil the real mask
of your cruel, ugly world,
so no other can feel the real pain
of your broken, nimble fists.

Sleep deprived dreaming.
You counted the shadows on the wall,
only to see that the real monster is still breathing.
You saw the red bricks drop inside suicidal minds,
only to hear the deaf people start screaming.
Tempers so loud, veins pulsating
around your neck, everyday words
have no meaning.

Just look at those rusted, old stop signs
with shot up bullet holes,
they sit on old, abused street corners near cardboard mansions of the tired and weary
and the $20 crack ******.
Your feet get red and blistered from pounding this
busted up pavement with worn out, useless soles.
You feel like you are standing softly with
a distant shovel digging up your own brittle bones.

This convoluted dream is all broken,
rotten inside spider web corridors,
empty alleyways with bicycles stolen.
You try and sleep with both eyes closed,
but the sun shines through the cracked
window panes
but it is not yet golden.
The loud whispers turned into silent screams,
can you hear me slowly falling?

I saw you beg for change on the corner
of  Western and North.
with your raggedy , torn clothes
and a lot of street sense survival.
You just held up your homemade cardboard
sign for some help, a home, and
Oh!! Thank the Lord,
your own street sense revival.
I saw the tall, gray, city people spit on you
and you just sat there
and read your raggedy, torn bible.

Why does this have to be?
People not caring for each other,
not loving each other, or not praying for peace.
So don't just walk by or drive by
and not give a ****,
like you don't really see.
Maybe that useless soul that stands on the street corner, in those raggedy, torn clothes,
is your mother, your father
your sister, your brother
or maybe it is just, just, just me.

I'll take my time to dance
around this place I call the world.
A place to the many, the few, the rich,
the poor, the fallen and the cruel.

I'll dance a mini waltz across the fields
of the golden flow of wheat fields and drown into
the seas of the deep, as your little toe
only touches the surface of the cold water.

I'll catch each star that I see in the evening sky
while the other
stars wax the dance floor with
velvet memories of constant
tomorrows and melted dreams.

I'll sweep the musical notes
under the rug that plays
from the piano,
as it's  lyrical raindrops hit my heart
softly with countless bliss and
mindless thought.

I'll sift through the symphonies of time
as they cascade their 8 notes in a 2 second beat
off the balcony and then I'll bury their
melodies in my own backyard.

I'll dance with the strings of the harp
interlaced between my fingers
then kiss the reeds of the woodwinds
as they play their melancholy songs.

So please, I ask of you, give me one
more moment
on the dance floor
in this world and let the many, the few,
the poor, the fallen and the cruel dance with me.
Let us take up one more waltz together

Today, I fell into a medication nightmare,
because I don't know why, I really don't care
I DON'T GIVE A ****!!
But I did give a dare !

I lied to you about past aggressions,
deep recessions and loud obsessions.
These jagged little pills are in my possession.

I swallow them whole, one after another,
the red one, the blue one, sister or brother,
see you don't know me any more,
So just look away
and don't even bother

These pills are my family, my welcome mat.
They say "HI, how are you, would you like a drink with that?"
They greet me in the morning and kiss me before my evening nap!!

They take walks with me from the cup to the sink,
three minutes later, my mind stops to think,
I stumble around in lucid dreams,
and two seconds later, I dropped that drink.

Body numbed and pill jar emptied
This medication nightmare just reached out
and bit me.
I opened my eyes and could not see clearly,
and said to myself "What day is it, please?"

I slowly walk with grenades in each hand,
passed by exploding villages, broken fences
and timeless stances
Laundry stained on lines
doing backyard dances.

Dropped bombs echoing the distance,
around corners, shattering windows,
flashbang, all clear,
bullets fly by barely missing us.

See these grenades, the ones I still hold tight,
wrapped up carefully, I can't unwind,
look at me mental
simple and blind.
I'll pull the silver pins all in due time.

Why do I have to walk alone?
Take a look around this place
and stare into the unknown,
I do not recognize this place at all,
this house of sorrow and senseless cold.

I want to pay homage
to the busted streets and broken cottages,
where everyday people are destroyed
with lies and filthy promises.

You see, these are my streets
that I walked with my feet,
Brothers and sisters,
graffiti tagged and full of disease.

This is the place where I broke bones,
Layed down sidewalks full of racial undertones,
With guns ablazing and
suicides growing old.

Gang signs tagged on every street corner,
did you hear the gun shot?
Stop!!!
Yellin' loud I tried to warn ya

Mama, why does it always have to be?
I lost another brother here by my feet.
I am filled with emotions
now gone with deceit

God, Please stop this pain that
flows inside my veins,
the agony, the injury, the silence
the insane.

I can't continue one more step,
this place I call my home
has turned into a wreck.
Lives are destroyed, twisted and upset.

So, look around.
This is my neighborhood.
This is where I belong.
With the busted up sidewalks, I stand strong.

We can not turn back time,
we can only help correct lives.
So let's turn the pages people
and unite not divide.