I remember how whenever I see a family
The siblings are so nice too each other
You can see the love between them

As I slide the blade across my stomach
I wish I had that
I wish someone loved me

It makes me wonder
"Why me?"
"What is wrong with me"
"What the hell did I do to have god make my life so ******??.....if there even is a god.."

I wish I had a reason.

I'm holding strong
Tight, so close the edges blur
Lines that once defined us
Now entwine us
Even though we are no longer the same
Your breath still warms my cheek
Heart still dances to your beat
We watch as the years pass
Age lines, laughter leaving it's mark
With time passing I wonder
If our eyes will find each other
At the end
Or if, like so many other's grip
We will slip away

I just wanna be with you, kiss you and make love to you

darling, allow my pillow to have dreams of you embedded in it

my heart's aching, my ears are longing for your voice

I wanna get nostalgic to your moans to breathe your skin into me

host you in my soul with nothing but love
serenading on your body with the bite marks

it's been twenty four hours
since I last held your hand
kissed your lips
traced that one scar with my finger
it's been twenty four hours
since I was shivering in your doorway
my breath making ghosts in the frozen air
dancing away like the smoke rings you blow to impress me
even though I always say you should smoke less
its been twenty four hours
since you pressed our foreheads together
and your laugh danced off the walls
as I long to dance with you
and your crooked-tooth smile made me crave your mouth on mine
its been twenty four hours
since you kissed me like an Eskimo
and admired my slippers
despite the soles being more worn than the pages of my favorite book
it's been twenty four hours
since I promised to say a prayer for you every night
and you swore again and again that we would make it
and you told me you'd see me in may
even though may is hundreds of memories and firsts and new friends away
it's been twenty four hours
since we said goodbye.

It’s a new day
Get the coffee and cream
Not everything is as it seems
The sun might be shinning
But inside I’m dying
I need to get out of this place
Of despair and disgrace
Put the past behind me
Look to the light
It's up to me to make my future bright
Stop looking for the next best fix
A man
New shoes
A vacation
Some *****
I want to be happy
I can't be the only one
Someone please come show me
How to have fun

It hurts less
when I pretend your name
is a foreign, unexplored word,
the creases in the vowels
like sunken ships
I've never seen,
thought of
dreamt of
before.