There is an ominous feeling all over your body
Feels like a rain clouds on the other side of the city
As you touch that cold railing near old magazine kiosk, you could almost say that the city is talking to you...

time is always so abstract when you get to meet up with your people.  People often change but I don't mind.

Most of my days I would meditate through sport learning new things. Then again meditate when Im alone.

She suffered a lot past months. Living the same shortcomings any human has to. But I try to be here for her.

My mind tends to spiral to the same old state, but Im trying my best not to fall in. Been there many times, so it gets pretty tiring lately.


Anyways I should write more…

Často rozmýšlam mal by som sa pozviechať a kupit diktafon

nahravat spontánne myšlienky, niečo ako to robil Marlon

Horel, horel bledý dom
a spolu snim slovo Martin vňom
búchalo, škriabalo, plakalo…
a
zomieralo potichu
chcelo zabrániť všetkému tomu
ale list aj tak spadol zo stromu

that which you cant control, welcome with arms open and make the most tangible

everything earthly has become somehow unimportant for my mind(even when I respect it still). It is strangly hard to grasp within words what my mind and spirit is longing for but I know that anything tangible within my concsiousness wouldnt quench it.

here at the end of the world
my pendulum stops

I sit here
finally rested

reflecting on all the reds and blues in life
and I lived it

Lived it in ignorance of this moment
but pulled forward like a moth to a shiny moonlight

I sit here
rested well

When all is black and tattooed.
There is no problem for me to spot even a tiniest light.

Under the black blanket with the white dots
I know Iam at home
My blood tells me so
As well as staring at the big waters

ancestors in my bones
called me back
and I cannot wait to join them

Keep looking up

When I was young boy
I never wanted love
I seeked something more

I wanted a partner
who will join up with me to experience
every stupid thing that life has to offer

We would often think that we ate all the wisdom in world
and then again fail together

Our egoes would crush and deepen
in sorrow times we would share the  light
and in marry times
we would respect the  dark

we would understand that life is far too
short for our mutual feelings to fulfill
that infinite we are not
and our bodies must go

Of death we would think
not always, but from time to time
sharing hands, resting our
old bodies in the living room

In the end we would often go to our long walks
alongside the river and smile and rejoice
because that is the ultimate happiness
knowing we lived together, sharing our virtues
and spreading them into the every situation

Summer nights with you
got me feeling like
I have so much to pour out
World seems less cruel
The nights that left you with
a feeling, that we could live once again
and the endless chats felt
like a merging of souls
so baby girl
I really hope
it will swallow us whole.

why does it feel so right to
love you, despite all faults
you left on my skin

all the markings
that left me only
only those we cant unsee

thou you brew me crystal clear
and after so little time
my spoiled soul managed to escape

and with that my mind flown kindly
and feet stood soberly like eyes
looked steadfast on my absurd destination..

life isn't just about loving the peaceful mind
life is about appreciating all  
life is also about loving the wicked
especially the wicked
and sometimes..
both

"At the end,
when all sinful eyes were pointed
at me. I didn't flee, I didn't turned my back.
I pushed the boulder, even though I knew that the very truth I fought for will be my doom, thus your redemption"

how tragic is that sometimes the only way to lure the greatness out of her endless sleep is to torture the soul by life itslelf.

Sometimes I fell in love with
this lady in a black dress

I wish you would never get to know
her, cause her garden is a mess

Skin pale white as a moondust
nothing seductive, i know

Still there are nights with her,
which only her body can bring lust

However, if you spend too many nights
with her, I must warn you well

Nights will turn into days
That is her ultimate spell.

nehasnoucí chtíč, to jest tá pohonná hmota
bez ní sme jako hvězdy bez vodíku
nemůžem vybuchnout a ovplivnit vesmír kolem nás

I want you to dig a hole into yourself
I want you to go down
Down to the deepest parts
To the forefathers of your secrets
Dig
Dig to the
Fears of men
fears like first step in a day
Droughts of hope
droughts as punishing
like cold bed during the night
No flesh will stop you
Once you get there
I want you to stop
cause' down there
you don't want any chaos
just observe, listen and feel
it will remind you of your roots
how you fell from tree asa child
how you planted your first seed in a garden
how you mourned the loss of your dog
how you loved just to lay in bed next to your beloved
Do you feel it?
it will guide you eventually
Don't ask
Of course you are ready
You always have been
You just forgot how to dig
for things you always knew


Start diggin'
It's time.

an old-fashioned couple sat next to each other
she had a head on his right shoulder*

- I can already feel the warm sand under my palms getting colder
(warm wind nudges their faces as the sun mildly touches the desert)
...and what about you?
- me? I kind a fell in love with this  moment...
cause'....

he stops talking for a second

Because  I know tomorrow will be the death of me, the death of smiles and cries. the death of all the imperfect symphonies I scratched in a hurry.
Although this time I am not letting myself **** everything around when it happens .

You and me
warm bodies
even warmer thoughts
my legs are tired
your throat sore
from ice cream
we just ate
I stopped you
in a middle of a sentence
because I have a stone
loaded in my chest
a heart of stone
then i treat you like a porcelain
don't wanna leave any scratch
on your troubled soul
so I wont ask you straight question
that pierces thru body
like spotlight on a top of your head
'cause I know, you have no answer
so I will remain in solitude
like I always do
getting stronger
getting number
getting tired..

Some women come
to a mans life like
boulders of stone and ice
crushing, mashing
shredding our lifes out
and we men
both tiresome and tireless
seem to enjoy it.

My heart is like a canvas
stinging trident a brush
and the tears are
my colors.

I'am the agent of suffering
The more pain my heart bears
the more I love.

And the moral jeopardy..
YES! the risks will only enlarge it
they will sharpen it gloriously
They are the domain, where
I shine the most.

Every single one of them is a pure heart. Which I find one of the very richest of the rich pleasures, that friendship can provide.

How can I love, shard of beast in thee
                             x
there is , myself more,  but never me.
annihilates the will, body decides
                             x
wicked or debility, mind resigns.

you only have to forgive once
to do greatest deed in your life;
the only spark between the oceans
forgive..and let life perform his motions

why do I slam the drums when there is no band
why do I scream and shout when silence is at hand
why do I fall in love with a silky singing whistle
'*** we are made of that blank, veiled abyssal
to relish life with great joy and wisdom we swore
like the fading whales by the shore.

Maybe I'am just the watcher
but you are still my
doom
watching your curves in motion
brings my heart from mere floor to
room.

*i am always amazed how inspiring, fulfilling, lively and redolent.. can be the atmosphere around women

Man with humility
walks into a room
his knees on floor
dreams confused
for a doom

Man with conceptions
O lavish they are indeed
Mind but merits
only in their deeds

Man with sullied sight
omitted all that he had
succumbed to grudge
hence strife is all he touches
world became sad

Man with broken heart
writing his way from
cotton dreams to
obscurities and certainties

with soil he became art.

You know
eventually
we all
need
nothing but
that fresh breeze
on our faces
that we like
to call
life

*when the sunset finally withdraws
all I need is the moon rising
as a waves muttered and light
shines upon my bones
I'am free at last

Let's do not waste our potential
realize why
why we are here, what is to become of us
mind your surroundings
that you can connect to everything
the whole universe lies beyond, before
the universe itself is knowable by
our fable brain
plants, therefore oxygen
oxygen, therefore life
life, therefore death
even after
you are still part of this melodrama
and trust me, you were always ready
you are complete and beautiful as ever
be the child in the room
the man, willing to do anything for woman's smile
grandfather who taught you so much
and don't forget to love
that is the answer
there is nothing you can't achieve

She used to go down
to a small stream
a place dear to her
she would sit there
and enjoy the loneliness
she would imagine all the joys
come by and suddenly disappear
she would step into the cold stream
splash the sorrow from her heart
she would lie there
her soul at ease
during all seasons
and
for the rest of her days

Crowd's clapping
People and children laughing
as if they were savages celebrating
sacrifice for the old gods
Only I remain silent, uninterested
without shape, without attitude
as a newborn
I watch them, lost
Lost as a wanderer
I cannot rest
nor breathe
They all seem to be fullfiled
with redundance
Only I am lost
Lost as a wanderer

Put me out of misery
Empty, my foolish heart
I fell like a lunatic
Poeple of this world are
enlightened by stars and moolight
Only me, darkened by sun
Only I, remain silent
in the darkness
desolate as a desert
abandoned and driven

I can bear that pain
I can let go that anchor
and finally set her free
'cause she listens
if you whisper gently

the very essence of her
will guide me;
only when
my ears are opened
*humbly

I have nothing to
take you;
Only things to borrow
But when you'll manage
to find me
it comes with the sorrow

Now
I must say
I have many dreams
but
There is one
close and dear
of mine

to meet her never again
but
at the end of our lives
just
to ask her how was life
how was love
and she wouldn't have
to ask me the same;
but
regardless she gladly
would and without any
hesitation
at all
and after that
we would just
sit there and watch
realizing
how
much
precious
life
was
and
is.

knowing, when to stop;
to lull our desire to sleep
is crucial secret
for eternity

For when it's something overdosed
in a man's face
usually  
there is also
lack in a
back of his
head

Being among books
with music
always satisfied me
I had that feeling
of belonging

Listening to piano
put me to the right
mood when I was
alone
Cold sad keys kept
my mind at peace
but even
a
sad poet needs a
wild dancer

Sax seduced me,
lifted me up
to the streets
the winds
by my side.

only
one
ingredient  
missing.

The ferocity
of
drums
connected the last
two into complete
purity

Reality is gorgeous

-''Why are we people always tripping between sad and happy, always complaining about our reality master?''
-"Through my life I've known sadness and happiness, depression, melancholia, envy, anger, passion. These are the results of our desire, which creates our deepest wishes. If we are to understand them, we have to embrace them along the way.We have to experience them. Only after that your mind can be opened. So imagine you have the ability to try all of them at the same time, naturally you would fulfill every possible wish you have, until you would begin to realize that only wish that exists is the ultimate.''
-''So what is the ultimate wish master?''
-''Being right here, my child.''

-'' Master! I've felt it again..
I've skipped the early meditations and met this fellow of yours.''
-''Who did you meet?''
-'' He was your apprentice a years ago, he said that he became wiser by repeating single task every day and I found myself in staggering doubt.''
-'' There is a fine line between regret and doubt, when you let one to take over, usually the other will follow. I was not born wise, even now I'am just a dancing leaf in the wind. But there is a beauty in that gentle breeze.
The tree from which we have fallen, we study and respect - the past.
And the undeniable wind which represents the present moment we perceive every time we listen to him then he reveals  us another secret.''

Sitting under the tree
meditating
Smelling of a fresh mowed grass
Running along the river
I can hear the wind blowing
behind my ears
Listening to the Coltrane every
morning when I wake up
those are the pleasures
of my life, I thought.
Thought  boat has finally
set the fine course
Thought I've
reached it.

Still there is a lone bird
chirping deep inside.
Singing a new song
every time
I forget.

I think it's fine that
he is down there
I really don't know
what my life
would be
without him.