I am softened at my core
Not being touched the right way
Long forgotten
Bruised by something that was supposed to be love
The taste of you is ripe in my mouth
Did your fingers leave this mark
Or is it pieces of us seeping out of me
Like sweet juice that used to drip from my fingertips
Nothing here could grow
Nothing good
Not even in the heat of the summer sun
When I am hungry for love
The orange, yellow dream of love
That could have been
Should have been
I have long buried our dead seeds in the earth
You can bite right into the center of a sweet peach
But I won’t let you turn me rotten
Everything dies, everything dies
Even the purple, blue ache of my heart

I am no angel when it comes to loving right
I have gone to hell and back just to forget
How good we could have been
“But I love you, I love you...so much”

The sky stayed blue
And your face never lost color
Like my world did

And my god, how heavenly it felt
To feel your breath move
Inward and outward

But my god how heavenly it felt
To feel my pain move through me
Reminding me
That even a brief love
Is enough love

                                                             s.a

I was always captivated by the stranger beside me,
More so than the blue skies I ached for
Because no matter how much sangria I swallowed, sitting across the table from you
The blue of love felt like butterflies doing the breast stroke inside of me
You turned me into an animal, excited and hungry, you turned me into The Wounded Deer by Frida Kahlo
You were my world and I was shot through the heart, but my heart is so big, like Texas
Maybe I should turn on the moon and you could help me see through this darkness...
You said there is only one way in and one way out and the road is blocked
Brick by brick by brick,
Your walls have come into fruition
And despite every effort to erase the anguish painted inside of my bones,
Alas I could not but try each day
To be a vision of strength,
A strength illuminated only by the dim light of the moon, a blue moon,
Resting in a sky so big
That even the brightest stars are strangers

When you took me to the sea
I melted into you, like wax
All the waves dried up
And the mountains started moving

I think you thought you were
Some type of God
And I think I thought the same
Because even when the seasons changed
You never went away
At least not inside of my heart,
Which is where they tell you God stays

I prayed to whatever I was worshipping
That you’d live in me
Just one more day
Because letting you make a home
In every tiny corner
Felt better than saying
I needed you to go