Shayda H

Shayda H May 2014

I wake up and I feel sick, I feel like ick!
The thought of licking ice cream doesn't seem pleasant right now.
The thought of happiness hasn't been part of my vocabulary for a while.
Maybe it was yesterday, so why do I feel like this today?
I'm still not sure.
When I am happy, I am happy.
But today, I feel ******.
I guess that will just be for today.
Tomorrow will be tomorrow and I wont feel sick.
At times, I don't know how I can function when I feel like this.
I don't even know how on earth I even got through it.
Any moment I might burst.
Having thirst for water doesn't help.
But today is today, and tomorrow is tomorrow,
and I wont feel sick.

(S.H.)

Shayda H May 2014

I Think I'm Happy

Am I happy?
I don't know.
I haven't been for the longest time.
But I think I feel fine.
I feel great!
I don't hate.
The sun is out, and I'm about.
I'm not mentally rushing my day, just so I can go home.
I roam around now because I'm not missing out on something.
The days do feel longer, but I'm enjoying them.
I don't ask myself when I can leave.
I don't greive.
I like seeing my friends, and the joy wont end.
I am happy.
Very, very happy.

#depression #happines #solarpoweredhuman

Shayda H May 2014

Leave Me Here

Leave me here.
I can't imagine what else to do with myself, or my life.
There isnt anything interesting.
The amusing moments only lasts for five seconds.
I becon for help.
I reckon that it wont work.
I'm not that old yet, and I already take my youth for granted.
I'd rant it all out, but I don't know what to say.
It's nice that you want to help.
But I'm stuck on this shelf, I need to help myself.
Leave me here please.
Don't tease me, if I nees your help, I will come to you
I can do this..
I hope

Shayda H May 2014

Sit Here

I am sitting here, tired and bored.
I don't have any interest in being here.
I find this so wasteful.
I could be doing other things that make me happy.
But I am here, feeling crapy.
I understand that the intentions of this do good,
but should I be here if I don't belong?
Maybe this will help me for the future,
but I can't see the point in this right now.
I just have to sit here, untill it's done.
The days are going by fast,
these pointless moments wont last forever.
Once it is done, it will be done.
Then I can move on.
In the meantime, I just have to sit here!
(S.K.H.)

Shayda H Apr 2014

Electronica

Neutrons, protons, croutons, electrons. Electronic. Electric. Electricity.
Creativity?
Negativity.
An electronic .
A psychotic electronic.
I don't want my body to become a piece of metal.
It doesn't make me feel settle.
I don't want wires to control my movement.
I don't want a computer as a brain.
If it rains outside, I would completely malfunction.
I am a human, with human thoughts an concerns.
I am a human with human feelings and a human body.
I have human body organs as well.
I guess it is interesting that humans are evolving.
But I also find it to be a mess.
What will happen when my human body parts and organs become replaced with computers and electronics that are controlled by the high class society and the government?
We will become robots;
An army for the government.
We will be forced to do however they please.
What about us?
Should we fuss?
Or should we not worry about the fact that we wont have the right to speak up any more?
We wont have feelings, thoughts and concerns.
We can't even control our own movement.
We can't even control our own choices.
It is all decided by them.
We don't have the right to know when something wrong is in sight.
And we can't say anything about it.
Say goodbye to human rights!
Say goodbye to freedom of speech!
Say goodbye to being human at all!
They don't care,
they don't want to feel powerless.
So they take away everything that is important to us.
And you think that technology developing is cool
I would like to remain human.
I don't want to be part of the *Electronica!

A bit more of a rant than a poem.

#humans #technology #government #rights #evolution #rantingpoetry

Shayda H Mar 2014

Can't Think of a Title for This

The snow is finally melting.
The weather has been depressing.
I can't listen to the news, it makes me confused.
Society scares me, it's full of queen bee's.
I adjust my hair, fully aware that no one cares (It's called high school).
If I had a world of my own, there would be a lot of random nonsense.
I'd rather be alone, but I don't want to be lonely.
Please keep me company. I need someone to tell me that I'm lovely. My thoughts make me feel ugly.
I wanna be held in your arms, so I don't harm myself. I don't want to feel so overwhelmed.
I need a beautiful soul to make life swell!

Shayda H Mar 2014

One of Those Nights

It's one of those nights when you're at home or out for the evening.
Either one, you're not having fun.
Either way, you're not enjoying your day.
You wish things would just calm down, so you don't drown in your thoughts and concerns.
Nothing will calm and your anxiety gets worse.
You feel as if you're ready to burst.
However, you don't burst.
You remain of what seems to be perfectly fine.
But you are not fine.
You wish things could get done a lot easier, because you know it would.
Somehow it doesn't.
Why isn't it easier?
You say "What could have I done to start this?"
And you don't know.
And so, your anger starts rising.
And you still seem to be fine on the outside.
Sadly, no one can see on the inside.
If only they would know how it feels during one of those nights!