I can't blame you for leaving

Just another day
Another day with insecurities
Why should I believe
In all the same philosopies
I keep trying to be happy
I keep trying to be brave
But who the **** am I kidding
When there's no one here to save

Just another day
Another day with so much pain
I can feel all the dark blood
Slowly running through my veins
I keep trying to make it better
I keep trying not to cry
But who the **** am I kidding
When there is no reason why

Just another day
Another day full of tears
I guess I'm feeling alone
Because I really need you here
I keep trying to stand tall
I keep trying to be strong
But who the **** am I kidding
When I know you'll never come

I decided to write one last poem
To explain it all
Sometimes it's better to let go
Because the timing's wrong
But I'm still on my knees
Trying to stop the bleeding
'Cause my head knows we are dead
But my heart just won't believe it
In the evening when the night falls
And nothing seems to matter
I put my hands together
And pray for things to get better
But these hands weren't made for that
They were made to protect you
And hold yours
But I guess that's how the story ends

I wanted to write it down
But I never really had a chance
And now that I finally can
It all doesn't make any sense
Forgive me for being honest
And all the things that I said
I never really intended
To take us a step back
But we had tough situations
You used words as violation
We were both fully committed
Until it got complicated
I always thought we would make it
But it's better we didn't
We're better off without each other
Even though I really miss it

I was standing on a crossroad while I had to choose between wrong and right
One side of the street was full of colors, the other one darker than the night
And I felt so close to you, I felt your heart in mine
You asked me if I was okay and I told you that I was fine

But I lied, I was dying and there was nothing left to say
My heart got filled with hatred while I took your pain away
And I'm still standing on this crossroad, I still don't know which way to choose
But I can't stay out of the darkness if my choice goes out to you