I've been gone quite a while.
like revisiting a dream I wished never to be dreamt again.
left the curtain once hung in the closet once used.
folded my childhood memories.
maybe I'll revisit them at some point too.

or maybe not.


I've been gone for quite a while.

His pleasure for deafening my soul is so skillfully sick, carving his title into my heart gone stale for false religion

The Lord of lies filled to the brim with flies of his rot, beautified for entertainment of me, tonight.

I wane the the heart removed, from his "godly" essence I take all from the world he stole from me.

Sound is the bringer of life, but silence is a killer, and it's quicker than a b rated movie thriller, I'm looking for a filler, the tiller of my heart, grinding, grinding. Binding me from living, giving.

I crave what you hate, I laugh at your ignorance even in my forlorn state, in my head screaming "it's to late", but wait... who is that, my favorite consequence of my love, the best b rated movie thriller, my filler, and with this silence is no longer my killer.

Sound is the bringer of life, but silence is a killer, and it's quicker than a b rated movie thriller, I'm looking for a filler, the tiller of my heart, grinding, grinding. Binding me from living, giving.

I crave what you hate, I laugh at your ignorance even in my forlorn state, in my head screaming "it's to late", but wait... who is that, my favorite consequence of my love, the best b rated movie thriller, my filler, and with this silence is no longer my killer.

I feel as if I must apologize.....apologize for all the stupid lies...for these eyes have lied a thousand times too....my mom and dad raised me to know right from wrong but it seems all my poems and songs are about how I don't....or how I'm wallowing in my own self pity.....and all I can do with that is write a few witty rhyming  poems that aren't even that good....but if I could I would turn back time to make sure I didn't speak all those wrong lines....I've lied to family, friends and most of all I've lied to myself...about.... a lot....so every time I have the thought of lying.....I have this poem in mind...

I have crossed a thin red line....for those words send chills up my spine just knowing that my actions my actions had actually crossed that thin. Red. Line. I didn't know it was there until it was to late...I had written down my own fate
...destined to be Trapped behind these wall for one week....for that week I was told "I must seek for my morality, in which you have lost". I didn't know the cost of my decision...if only I had more supervision so I didn't cross...the thin red line....

My first love, I had thought she has came from heaven above, but it wasn't true..
For she had lied to me.....for she had blinded me with this false hope that I could be happy with another person, these feelings churning in my stomach, left my thoughts tossing and turning in my head, meaningless fights, sleepless nights....for all had come to an end with two words..."we're done"