the darkness sets in
as I swallow my handful of pills
my light burning out like a candle wick
my heart and my soul have never felt so sick

demons crawl under my sheets
they claw and slur ***** whispers that
surface my internal screams and whimpers
evoking the nightmare, the everlasting scare

and I don't know how I got so off course;
I am going mad with remorse

I live for the lyrics
I hold onto every word like
a chest of precious gems to covet

I lose myself in words

I must learn
the melody so that
my heart finds a rhythm
and my tired feet are able to dance
away the heavy weight I carry

I lit half of
a lonely cigarette
the moon peaked out
at me from her foggy haze
and I knew everything
was going to be okay

these chasing admirers
they don't love me,
they just want to own me
I could teach them what fire is
but I'd rather burn, alone
I am a girl best left unknown

does it feel any better, after?

no, it hurts
it awakens everything I ever tried to bury
it stirs the cauldron, it makes things scary

my eyes well up
the walls begin to bleed
my skewed periphery is blurred
along with the weeping howls
I taste salt and feel claws in my throat

my face becomes a black lagoon
my mind bears it's dark side
like a haunting moon

my inner demons are put to rest
and I'm shoveling away as I plan to bury them
they scurry and claw up my throat with
senseless last words
best left unheard

a razor blade in my hand
that brought blood to my thighs
when there should have been tears in my eyes

locks of hair that
I sawed off along with my weathered pride
vibrant red, along with shades of brown
smelling of stale cigarettes

the blade will speak on my skin no more
my hair will grow as spring creeps upon us
and the flowers bloom

here is where I bury my regrets,
among the butts of countless cigarettes

they set me free
like a mended bird after
feeding me pills to hold still
I don't fly much, now

not quite caged
not quite free
still broken