they say grief is a silent breeze
like a pang of chill air on tuesday evening
when it pierce right through like a bullet
all strengths coalesced into a collapse

it would be the last thing in my mind
that blue charcoal dimming the february sky
3 months of lovers, how fast they expire
i always wonder, will it actually be alright?

summer come through, late of june
a boy is the last thing my head fixed upon
a soulmate, let alone, when im far from home
must human nature resent process of progress?

now i am walking in the sand, bare feet
i dont even like the beach,
but im too down to climb something i cant even reach
and im too upright to succumb to a fatal destiny

solitude is the best remedy
for only i get to listen to me
in midst of voices and screams, lies clarity
hold on to that wisp of reasons for its sanctity

a theatrical life,
we choose the roles and scenes
it get hysterical at times,
we think we're small when all's but a big screen

i am twenty two and this is maturity
tears fell, chin up and greet everybody
homesick is not a disease
i still get to laugh, i still get to live

crying because the weight of my mother's smile
toughening because of my father's vulnerability
ridiculous jabbers my brothers gone through
all part of what makes me, me

and gratitude is a warm blanket
like a comforting hug on a friday afternoon
when it tug your heartstring,
a hopeful future embrace within

i am thankful for the life i've lived
the good, the bad and everything i've yet to credit
bravery has its own merit
so i'll have a forward courage to live...and believe

a belated gift;
i am celebrating me

i feel i feel i feel
none of it was real
i am sitting on the floor
right where you left me

i think i think i think
it was all in my head, it cannot be real
i am right where you left me
with questions you never cared to heed

"how was your day?"
how have you been?
two questions, with only one answer
always me, you...never

"is there any problems?"
why are you frowning?
i lay it all on the table
you say it was none of my business

i feel i feel i feel
none of it was real
i am lying on the bed i made
right where i left "you"

i think i think i think
it was all in my head, this cannot be real
why am i here, where i left you?
i have no answers, you never cared to give

you said you did not understand
said it was my lack of communication
my flaws were like a communal service
and my queries were confrontational...i guess

like when you undress me in the evening
while you were fully-clothed all night
used to say i kept hiding
but it was me, you never fully trust in...

i feel i feel i feel
none of it was real
i am standing on the spot you missed
right where we left us

i think i think i think
it was all in our heads, it was not real
why are we here, where we left us?
only one of us have the answer,
this time it is me:

you loved me so good,
you did not let me do it back

but love, is a two-sided coin
pennies for your thoughts
...which i never got

a poem so great
written in your smile
a lament so painful
those pearls we both cried
unexplainable whys,
and a half-hearted goodbye
swear i had you,
for once in a lifetime

The echoes of your voice calling out to me
Saying "hey, it's okay, you're safe here"
and all the words to shine a light
when I'm in the dark

You said that you're here
...and that I'll be fine
But you're not here
...and I'm in the dark
It's dark...and tough

All these weighs in my heart
get heavier at once
Oh, the irony...
To hear comfort
from someone I hurt

The gift of my erasure
got treated as a punishment
Nobody bat an eye
whenever I walk out the door...
But you did.
With those tears,
only you did.  

With conviction
that even if I'm deprived of love
I tell myself it's fine
...but I'm not fine.
Still, acceptance banging on the wall
A loud roar I have to submit to...
Because I made the call
and end it all

Everything crash down,
ball out of the court
You were gone ...long gone
I shot you down, and the gun remains

No sign of pulse
in your vein
No more love
remain for me

So what pulls the trigger in...?
What caused the bullet of memory
to pierce right through?

It's June, twenty two ,
back then,
you used to be you...

And all my friends laugh at me
All those sleep calls for an alarming ending
All those happiness that I leave
I leave, I left you

The sky's been dreary ever since
February feels never-ending still
I'm here with all clouds of guilts
I can't help missing you out for a reach

Hey, I hope you're doing okay
I hope life treats you better than I do
I love you....
It's true

Hey, don't you feel a pity for me
Don't worry whether I'm eating or not
I'm not yours to care no more...
No more distraught

Every billboard signs spell out your name
you'rE a common Lanky guy
It's hard to Just erase you from my brain
American-made, cHestnut hair, amazin-graze

Green, the grass they're dewy
Like sundates when you were with me
Your eyes lit up a spark of my life
And I burnt your dreams to the ground

I know now, it's life...that's how
We love, we toss and we turn
I turn into something you can't comprehend
I still keep you in fond remembrance

Hey, I hope you're smiling today
It's June, you'll be okay
Sun will shine your freckles again
Without any loss, what's to gain?

Hey, I hope you're laughing with them
May you always stays the same
Love hard, and passionate
All in for someone's worth it

Dungeons-hunting
Treasures-looting
Time, space, and circumstances
Faith, rules, and regulations

No more play and pretend...
Sorry I outgrew your basement
Life full of adventure...just not for me
I can't be forever 19, there's responsibilities

I'm not as priveleged
Life's not as easier on me
You get to still be the same ol' you
But I need to always be brand new

It's a cinch to sever ties, holding your hand
Running and go leave it all behind
But I'm a survivor,
Do or die, I have to fight for my life

You said it's my life to choose
Who cares about people's and currencies
Who cares?
Well, I do

And I have people I love too,
Even if all I inherit is just bruise
And I'm sorry I didn't choose you...
I love you, it's true
It's still true

Three letters you sent me
Paged my sorrow on the floor
"I love you,
but I don't want this anymore"
You don't want me anymore
"I love you"
I told you so,
I told you so...

Let's talk in poetry
dream of make-believes
You don't have to impress me
Your existence, already notably succinct

I'm writing a book about you
and I won't give it to anyone else
It's good to let anyone be in your shoe
but what's the point in losing yourself?

So you know that everyone
deserves a second chance,
but do you know that everyone
means that you too?

Please stop scarring your thighs
Let me wipe the tears in your eyes
You still got a journey of a thousand mile
Let's take a step and walk it with me

Half-weight from battlefields frontline
defending your honor
like it's my homeland;
And you say that I never fight...
every single time
that I am everything,
everything...
but gallant

and here i am,
sitting on my own
eating the food i cook for two