Somewhere in Hawaii that day,
It's not noon my time
It's not midnight yours
And we were still in love
We were still together
In a spared four hours

Always mi amor,
I know enamorado
Feliz a tu lado,
though I'm a self-taught tough love
But why it's always adios,
and not non vemos
Lo siento,
you only speak
in te a mos....

In these lines I read you as lullaby
In these pages I wrote you in hindsight
In these details I exorcised evil lies
In these anthologies, this is where I hide
You're a better poet than me
You may never know
Hello Poetry.

Three letters you sent me
Paged my sorrow on the floor
"I love you,
but I don't want this anymore"
You don't want me anymore
"I love you"
I told you so,
I told you so...

Half-weight from battlefields frontline
defending your honor
like it's my homeland;
And you say that I never fight...
every single time
that I am everything,
everything...
but gallant

since i was a little girl,
i've been a very good actress
earlier in life, i was a golden girl
way ahead than my peers, a shining over-achiever
good in being too much, too much unlikeable

in my teenage years,
i played the role of misery
with grey clouds hanging over my head
custom-made puddles beneath my feet
and hand-drawn cross-stitches on my left wrist

through the end of adolescence,
i starred in a star-crossed romance
in which i was a frustrating lover
the "always leaving others" lover
the "you will only understand my action when we're in our 40s" lover

now that i am a 2 years old adult,
i am acting like a lost child in a big playground
mind spiraling down the slide
shaky judgements on the see-saw
the fool climbing the monkey-bar

man, i am such a star...

i feel i feel i feel
none of it was real
i am sitting on the floor
right where you left me

i think i think i think
it was all in my head, it cannot be real
i am right where you left me
with questions you never cared to heed

"how was your day?"
how have you been?
two questions, with only one answer
always me, you...never

"is there any problems?"
why are you frowning?
i lay it all on the table
you say it was none of my business

i feel i feel i feel
none of it was real
i am lying on the bed i made
right where i left "you"

i think i think i think
it was all in my head, this cannot be real
why am i here, where i left you?
i have no answers, you never cared to give

you said you did not understand
said it was my lack of communication
my flaws were like a communal service
and my queries were confrontational...i guess

like when you undress me in the evening
while you were fully-clothed all night
used to say i kept hiding
but it was me, you never fully trust in...

i feel i feel i feel
none of it was real
i am standing on the spot you missed
right where we left us

i think i think i think
it was all in our heads, it was not real
why are we here, where we left us?
only one of us have the answer,
this time it is me:

you loved me so good,
you did not let me do it back

but love, is a two-sided coin
pennies for your thoughts
...which i never got

My laundry didn't fall off the clothesline
Today was windy and the sun shines
Cheers to small victories!

you coax me in my turbulent nights
you keep me tight under the sheets
you hold me through the days
you let me rest and relax
you tell me to be carefree
you showed me freedom
you made me rest my pieces
that no risk need to be calculated
or so it seems

little did i know
your stomach was kept full when i lose appetite
the midnight oil was burnt for the sake of your future
you trade my property for treasure
you drove my car, convince me i don't need a license
you turn my life around and make it yours
you overrun my house, made me felt i was at home

your comfort, safety,
the rest, time and space you offered me
was your building blocks to a self-made reverie
a better bigger you, and the little old me
you practise and practise
while i eschew all plans for you
you decide to rebrand everything new
puzzles and chess
and when it all collides
when i see what conspires
too late for the afflicted
****, i am checkmated

and here i am,
sitting on my own
eating the food i cook for two

If not the love we desperately sought,
what else could ache more?
Even a pluviophile would take cover
from a torrential downpour...

You're the one running
yet I'm the one...
who's out of my breath

a poem so great
written in your smile
a lament so painful
those pearls we both cried
unexplainable whys,
and a half-hearted goodbye
swear i had you,
for once in a lifetime

It's you.
It's me.
It's us.

i know you're out there
maybe painting poems
using hues thru journeys
on your life canvas

while you're strolling through
the decadency of 'ups and downs'
a chess piece once called blue
hope you'll be back around

i'm writing this memoir
in hope you can hear these lines
in hope you know,
i hope you are foreverly alright

June was yellow
Then there's you
Turning all mellows
Into golden hue

The flame in your hair
The way you stop and stare
How you always finds a way
I just know that you're gonna stay

Hours feels like seconds
You touched me, tho I'm distant
It's not love, it's something unfathomable
I always go astray, but never thought I'd ended up home

It's sparkling whenever you come around
The whole world turns magical,
I see dragons, I see witches and wizards
You yield weapons but we're not fighting

And I don't need mirror now
I just see the reflection of mine through the lens of your eyes
She's loving, she's nice, beautiful, all the best thing a girl could be
For once, I feel this is the realest version of me

silence could never calm
that of
which is maimed;
fairly to make heard of
the shattering
that would not mend.

you will come back
in every five seconds
in every five minutes
in every five round clock
in every five changing snowdrops
on the pavement
eon of epoch, your tardy shortcomings and
my in-sync horology

still i wait for you,
and sundial
of your promise

you will come back
in every winter
in every summer
in every spring
in every fall
weathervane foreverly prevail

still i wait for you,
with glimmering eyes
and avalanching hopes

you will come back
in every monday
in every wednesday
in every friday
in every sight of sadderdaze
a repertoire of mystical moments
per diem of price

still i will wait for you,
in every sunrise,
in every twilight

It's like a halo burned in an open field,
asking where's the revelation
when it lies on your desk

It's kind of yellow contradiction thing,
saying "I'm trying"
but you're not quite there yet

And it's "I don't know" purged off of your lips,
thinking maybe one day
it'll all get better instead.

𝐵𝓊𝒹𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓎,
𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓇'𝓈 𝒹𝒶𝓎
I feel best in my strawberry dress
It's stupid, really
all glee and smile
gee, I acted like a child
It's stupid, really
I thought of nothing
but of my love for you
Godd-mn,
𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦,
𝘪𝘧 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘭?

And if it weren't for those times
where impediment
was all I can speak of,  
𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍,
𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎
𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛
synthesizing
my weathered hyacinth
into a 𝕘𝕠𝕝𝕕𝕖𝕟 𝕕𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕠𝕕𝕚𝕝
resided by the lake
of your
evergreen field

Be it 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕙, 𝘍𝘪𝘵𝘻𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘥,
𝒮𝒽𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒶𝓇𝑒, or 𝚁𝚞𝚖𝚒
No sonnets on earth
is as beautiful
is as grandeur
as God-made poetry;
You.

there is indeed relief
in the bleeding words
of a cutting edge misery

there is indeed beauty
in a dying poetry
that gets to live another day

there is indeed meaning
in an empty paper:
a brevity poignant testament

there is indeed life
in every ending rhymes,
a killing soundtrack for past demise

too sad to write

and when you smile,
my heart soften;
I'm a child
again.

Poetry
Profound poetry
What does that mean?

Is it the surplus amount
of big words conjoined together
for a trade of a 'masterpiece' honouree?
Is it the simplest of words
drawn into each other
to paint such a beautiful imagery?
Or is it those blank spaces
that speak volume
about a person's well being?

Poetry
Profound poetry
What does that even mean?

404 leads to your flaws
302 you perched from the dark
211 'cause you steal my heart
101 you got me all enthralled
500 when I see you from afar
220 honey, that's what you are
508 of you, I should be warned
381, well 143 is too typical
224 mad easy, 'cause you're so lovable

I've waited for you
for my whole life
Almost eighteen,
and I'm tryna love myself

I'll keep on hoping,
put my love on the line
'cause love don't come running,
they arrive just in time

I've longed for you
for all the times I could remember
Those future memories with you,
are what keeps me going further

And my faith
is getting less blind
'cause I believe soon you'll arrive,
maybe in a year or five

I've prayed to God
for your descendant
Through times of
storms and tribulations

When things gets hard,
I'll be just fine
'cause I know you'll arrive
and it'll all be alright

I'll wait for you
for far more times
I'll lurk out the windows,
just give me the sign

Five years
of caged butterflies
and one day
you'll come arrive.