I created all these ideals in my head,
I'm going to be the famous writer
With the perfect family I never had
But I just learned
You have to live at rock bottom for a while
Until you can live a fulfilling lifestyle

So, I'll brace myself,
I'll be prepared
For these ideals I have
Will take time to reach
Each a perilous path to the top of my dreams
No matter how much I scream
From the pain this upward climb will bring
I will persist, evermore
Until I have all that I deserve

I need to live fearlessly,
And do what I love
Because it's better to follow your heart's plan,
Than fail at something you never wanted in the first place.

Come spring, she leaped across the grassy dune,
Beaming with sheer joy as she hummed a halcyon tune.
Her beauteous almond eyes- the biggest, the brightest.
A bonnie spotted doe in her warm, homely forest

Come summer, by her gushing little lake she played.
When upon a solitary, pensive buck her eyes she laid.
Eyes met across the smiling lake; too soon gazes parted.
While his eyes curiously lingered, hers wandered on ahead.

Come monsoon, he adored her eyes, her gilded coat, her bushy tail.
The passionate warmth in her eyes with affection made him frail.
Yet, she went on with her blissful life- devoid of any care.
Oblivious of the buck who always stopped to stare.

Come winter, by his side chattering happily she grazed.
Soon, his feelings faded; by almond eyes no longer crazed.
Like currents in the water, apart they drifted and drifted.
New lake. Nonchalant silence. No words were said.

Come fall, she found that he still leaped through her mind.
The emotion she once scoffed in her heart now enshrined.
Eyes met across the smiling lake; too soon gazes parted.
While her dull eyes wistfully lingered, his wandered on ahead.

I'm so in love, I can't deny it
I tried to hide it
But I simply couldn't fight it
bubbling forth to the surface
My heart is beating rapidly,
My feelings are inexplicable
I just want to wrap my arms around you
And kiss you
Oh, please don't call me despicable

And I know you want it too,
From all the little things you do
But why, WHY?
Do we force ourselves to conceal?
We're so afraid of getting hurt,
But getting hurt is just a part of being real
My stubborness can't hold me back anymore
Because everytime I look into your eyes
I become elated inside
And I can't stand not seeing you for days,
I just want to be near you,
I just want to know you,
Hold you in stormy weather
And kiss you in spring
I want to be your fortress,
I want to heal your broken wings.

Listen,
I know times are hard,
Listen,
I've been there before
Crying on the floor
Bare and scared
Talking to the walls,
Wishing someone was near

Listen,
I'm right here
And I'm real
Reach out your hand to touch me
So you can feel

Because I know you're heart is beating
But your blood is stale
Gasping for sweet air,
Gasping for love
You fought until your knuckles bled
For a love that could quell the demons in your head
But that love never came
And it never will come

Because that love is a mere fantasy
Fed to us by our t.v.
Movies like Casablanca and Gone With the Wind
Momentarily appease
Our hungry hearts pleas
But it's not reality,
These promises of perfect love
Wrapped in packages of perfection
Because loving is agony,
It's deception with a kiss on the cheek

But listen,
It's real,
And I'm not perfect
But at least I'm here
I don't look like Audrey Hepburn,
And our love is not worthy of storybook fantasies
But I'll stay by your side
Until the very day you depart to the sky
I'll never have you doubt the tenacity
Of my imperfect love

So listen,
This is what I can offer,
With open arms
Come find comfort with me
Admist this harsh world.

I'm always looking for a thrill
That will fulfill
The echo humming silently within
I search for a bridge
That will bring together the chasm between my heart and my mind
It pains me to be so distant,
To feel nothing inside

And yet I started to feel something today,
Like a a sprout growing forth from barren soil
My fears birthed from years of endless toil
Were overcome by the power of Love
It cut my fears down to size
It opened up my eyes
It gutted me and had me on the floor crying
Thinking of absurdities, like dying
I felt so many things I haven't felt in so long
My heart was bursting forth with so much bittersweet love
My ego caved and my insecurites could not be saved
As the wave of Love ravaged my every notion
And suffocated my ego in the depths of the Ocean
Where I experienced profoundly God's undying devotion
His love is unconditional, limitless
In endless supply
How could I fathom this,
Being a little human, am I
But I took "I" away
And saw
We are all
Eternal brothers and sisters
Stuck in our internal wars
But God just wants to love us
And heal our our scars.

I was sixteen
We started fires in graveyards
Had *** in public parks
At 2 a.m.
Drank stolen 12 packs behind abandoned factories
And played Nirvana without end

We smoked **** in ditches
And burned holes in our skin for fun
We kissed strangers
While closing our eyes
And imagining Jim Morrison

We popped unlabeled pills
We were put in psychiatric hospitals
We watched indie films
While we made our ****** art
We played basketball in a parking lot
After smoking fruity blunts

We found an abandoned mansion,
And slept in abandoned homes
We would get so drunk we wouldn't know where to go
We fell down hills and scraped our knees
We cut ourselves with dull blades
Crying in the shower, un-saved
We drank champagne alone
Crying to ourselves
In a lonely home

We blasted Pink Floyd and stared into each other's eyes
We watched Black Swan and walked home on the January ice
I said I wanted to be with you forever
But you became mad,
You said forever is too long

We rode in the back of cars at night
Singing Italian songs before the inevitable fight
We danced on beaches
And stripped in the sprinklers of dawn
Running through the lawns
We were outlaws
Bonnie and Clyde
Making a habit of destruction
So we could hide our sorry hearts.