Q: What is the eye to you?
L: Haven’t thought about that yet.
Q: What about the “I” then?
L: As opposed to “me”?
Q: Yes.
L:
Q: You can’t smoke in here.
L: It’s cherry flavoured. I haven’t tried them yet.
Q: That doesn’t change anything.
L: Fair enough.
Q:
L: What was the question?
Q: Your thoughts on “I” and “me”.
L: Ah. So, “Me” is me standing before a mirror and pointing at the reflection.
Q: and “I”?
L: “I” is a prayer.
Q: Can you be more specific?
L: “I” is a prayer one utters when battle has made you weary and you’re not quite sure how it is you’re still standing. The vision in one of your eyes is blurred and red. You can’t tell if the blood on your face is yours, but it is. All of it is. You’ve just realized that. The thought hurts more than the wounds- “Have I always been the one being wounded? Has this battle been a war against me all along? I’m the victim?”
Q: What kind of war is that?
L: One against you.
Q: I see.
L: I’m not finished.
Q: Continue, then.
L: You ask yourself these questions and realize that not only are you still standing, you are, and there’s power in that. So you square your shoulders and breathe slow to look hell in the face. You’ve still got one good eye after all. The ground is suddenly stiller than you remember. The fog lifts. There are no bodies. The remnants of war and chaos surround you; you walk forward. You don’t know where you’re going but the thought isn’t a doubt. You’re full of certainty and gun smoke and nothing stains or stings your lungs as you breathe in- and then out. Then suddenly- there they stand, the match that started the fire, the one that ended in certain death and now rebirth. You stop. You breathe- in, out. You pray.
Q: “I”?
L: Aye.
Q: Who are you praying to?
L: God is present in many things.
Q: The self?
L: “I”.
Q: I see.
L: The more I value myself, the more God there is in me.
Q: Who is the enemy in this war?
L: Depends.
Q: On what?
L: How much you’ve healed.
Q: Can you elaborate?
L: The enemy could be a ghost, your uncle, your first grade math teacher, a rabid dog. People, though- they rip things from you. They cough in your direction. They tell you to prioritize their wants over your needs. The enemy could also be your reflection. It depends on how much you’ve healed.
Q: Are you at war with yourself?
L: Absolutely.
Q: Who started this war?
L: Many.
Q: Why hasn’t it stopped?
L: I was taught to continue the war, not to end it.
Q: You mean like abuse?
L: Not like abuse. Abuse.
Q: So being abused led you to be at war with yourself.
L: Correct.
Q: I’d like to go back to your first answer.
L: You want me to conclude it.
Q: Yes.
L: “Me” is an image. “I” is your essence. Your essence can be weaponized through prayer.
Q: That’s quite the statement.
L: When the enemy has you pinned by the wrists, thretening to stab your throat with your own brush, when your worth becomes tied to how many times in the day they decide to use you, when they take everything you are and tell you to **** yourself with it once they’re gone, when they have their foot on your back and a fist full of your hair, cackling like demons in a church they were never meant to enter- that is when you pray.
Q: “I”?
L: The reflection’s reflection speaks. This is what God is. This is your prayer. Everything you are packed tightly into a single vowel, in one deep breath. The reversal of a tragedy preformed perfectly, the cracking of a reality that once was, but with a single word, is no more. The vocalization of your very essence-
Q:

L: “ I “.



From: *Stories From A Sane Poet: A Look Into The Mad Minds of Troubled Youth (1986) - Chapter 7: What Is The Eye?

8        8       h     | q    h
1         2       3     | 2    1
Draw me close | to You

8        8   h   |  q       h
1         3   5   |  6       5
Lead me in  | Your way.

8        8        h    |   q   h     | q   h    | q   h
1         3        5    |   6   5     | 3   2     | 3   2
Draw me close |  to You, | I pray, | today.

8       8     h  |  q    h
1        2     3  |  2    1
Lead me on | the path

8       8        h       |   q    h
1        3        5       |   6    5
You would have |  me take.

8        8      h      | q   q-q   | q   h
1         3      5      | 3   2-3   | 2   1
Draw me close | to You,  | today.

8         8      h     |   q   q      q       | q q-q    | q  h
5         6      8     |   2    1      8       | 5 6-8   | 6  5
Draw me close |  to Your heart | today, | I pray.

8        8      h      |  q   q      q     | q  h      | q  h
1         3      5      |  5   6      5     | 1  2       | 3  2
Draw me close | to Your side | I pray, | today.

8        8      h      |  q  h
1         3      5      |  6  5
Draw me close |  to You.

8        8        h    |  q  h
6        7        8     |  6  5
Draw me close |  I pray.

8         8      h     | q   h     | q  h
1          3      5     | 3   2     | 1  1
Draw me close | to You,| today.

We had a very happy conversation about family matters.

Mom, Dad. I’m OK.
They’ve been really honest with me
but they’re perfectly willing to die for what they’re doing.
And I want to get out of here
but the only way I’m going to
is if we do it their way.
And I just hope that you’ll do what they say
Dad
and just do it quickly.
I really am alright.
I just hope I can get back to everybody really soon.

My little girl.

Catherine and Randy gave impeccable dinner parties.

I am an Establishment person.

I am being held as a Prisoner of War
and not as anything else.
I mean I am being treated
in accordance with
international codes of war.
I’m not left alone, and I’m not just shoved off somewhere.
I mean, I am fine.

Also, since I am an example
and it’s really important
that everybody understand that
you know,
I am an example and a warning.

And so people should stop acting like I’m dead.

Mom should get out of her black dress,
that doesn’t help at all.
and just hurry.
Bye.

Patty honey I want you to know
that your father is doing everything in his power.
Millions of people all over the world are praying for you
I know it’s been a long time sweetheart
but keep up your courage
and you keep praying
pretty soon god will touch their hearts
and they’ll send you home.

Mom, Dad.
I've been hearing reports about the food program.
So far it sounds like you and your advisors
have managed to turn it into a real disaster.
Anyway, it certainly didn't sound like the kind of food
our family is used to eating.

I called him a couple of weeks ago and said,
Hey, Randy, let's play tennis.
We haven't played tennis in months
and he said
Gosh. I just can't. I'm busy.
I know he's got a lot on his mind,
But, I think he's pretty obsessed with this.

Mom, Dad.
Tell the poor and oppressed people of this nation
what the corporate state is about to do.
Warn Black and poor people
that they are about to be murdered
down to the last man, woman and child.
Tell the people,
Dad
that the removal of expendable excess,
the removal of unneeded people
has already started.

I have chosen to stay and fight.
I have been given the name Tania
after a comrade who fought alongside Che in Bolivia.
It is in the spirit of Tania that I say,
'Patria o Muerte, Venceremos.'

She was one of the prettiest young women south of the Mason‐Dixon line.

Q. Okay. As a matter of fact, when you got to 1827 Golden Gate, or this apartment on
Golden Gate, you were not being held in that closet all the time, were you?
A. Yes, I was.
Q. You were?
A. Yes.
Q. Was there a previous closet in which you were held?
A. Yes.

DEATH TO THE FASCIST INSECT THAT PREYS UPON THE LIFE OF THE PEOPLE

She is a winsome beauty and her sweetness of manner has endeared her to all who know her

Whatever happened to the real men in this world? Men like Clark Gable? No one would have carried off my daughter if there had been a real man there.

She was somewhat of a revolutionary savant.
We kidnapped a freak.
I think that she was spectacular.
At that point, it was against her will to go home.

Q. And you moved in a car, I take it?
A. Yes.
Q. Were you blindfolded?
A. Yes.
Q. And whose car was it, do you know?
A. I don’t know. I was put into a garbage can that was ******* and put in the trunk of the car.
Q. And then, was the garbage can taken into the apartment on Golden Gate when you arrived?
A. Yes.
Q. Were you in it?
A. Yes.
Q. And you were placed in a closet immediately, is that correct?
A. Yes.

I. She’s an amoral person
thought that the rules did not apply to her.
She lied to nuns at school
about her mother having cancer
in order to get out of an exam
engaged in ****** activity
at an early age
and experimented with drugs
such as LSD.

II. Velcro Theory defined the aimless, lost souls
such persons, he said, who float around
in an empty moral space
and then find stuck to them
the first random ideology they bump into.

III. She is a celebrity prisoner of war
but the other thing
is that listening to her voice
is kind of hypnotizing
and not at all unpleasant
she speaks in this whisper
the well-enunciated voice
that someone called
the rich girl’s voice
The eerie voice of an heiress
and it's hard not to admire her composure
considering the ordeal she just went through.

We didn't know whether we were looking at a live girl or a robot.

Greetings to the people.
This is Tania.
Gabi crouched low with her *** to the ground.
Perfect love and perfect hate reflected in stone cold eyes.
To shoot first and make sure the pig is dead before splitting.
I died in that fire on 54th Street,
but out of the ashes I was reborn.
I know what I have to do.

Catherine was mentally and physically exhausted after the kidnapping. No wonder she developed a drinking problem.

Q. Okay. And is it true, Miss Hearst,
that you in the presence of Thomas Mathews ejected a live round from the M-I
that you had near you
and inserted that in the clip,
and put the clip back in the weapon?
A. I don't recall, it is possible.
Q. It is possible you may have.
And did you, in fact, also at that time
load a couple of live rounds
into the chamber of a revolver, a pistol?
A. I don't recall.
Q. Did you give Bill Harris a pistol
in the presence a Tomas Mathews?
A. I don't recall.
Q. You don't recall?
A. No.

I’ll think of it all tomorrow—I can stand it then.

I think this has been extremely ******* her
She's what the kids call ‘spaced out.’
Her religion holds her together.
And when you talk to her,
you see reality escapes her.
All she can say is that people are
‘persecuting’ Patty.
That's the word she uses,
‘persecution.’
We all love Patty,
and God knows she's had a terrible time,
but the whole complexity of the situation
seems to escape Catherine.

You're being told this
so you'll understand why I was kidnapped.
The S.L.A. has declared
war against the Government
I'm telling you now why this happened
so that you'll know
so that you'll have
something to use,
the knowledge
to try to get me out of here.
Bye.

I’m the happiest mother in the whole world.

I hope that you'll make sure that they don't do anything else like that Oakland business.

Q. Do you recall you spoke those words, Miss Hearst?
A. Can I see the transcript?

I don't believe Patty's legal problems are that serious. After all, she's primarily a kidnap victim. She never went off and did anything of her own free will.

From the moment I was kidnapped,
they consistently attempted to
discredit the revolutionaries.
After the first communique was received,
the pigs reacted by hauling out the stress machines.
The machines indicated I was being tortured
and kept awake 24 hours a day.
I guess that all the pigs expected me
to keep my mouth shut,
but I was furious.
They put away their trickology for a while.
If you believe the media,
you'd think I was totally weird.
According to them, I never mean anything.

Catherine, while still blond and attractive, has aged around the corners of the eyes.

Greetings to the people,
this is Tania.
Our actions of April 15
forced the Corporate State
to help finance the revolution.
As for being brainwashed,
the idea is ridiculous beyond belief.
I am a soldier in the People's Army.

I am Tania and We are not fooling around.

What could have been a tremendous instrument for change—Patty's kidnapping—has failed, and their old attitudes toward life—I guess it's called ‘conservatism’—are back

The kids who went to public schools
were not the kind of people
we should have close associations with.
As a result, I spent twelve years
almost totally surrounded by young people
who were busily developing
ruling class aspirations.

She has nowhere to go,
as resulted in only a change of captors.
But at least now,
as long as society is her
captor,
she does not have to worry about being killed.
Freedom may be a more awesome
alternative
-- you are not here to decide that.
We have a framework,
the SLA predicted this trial.
If we can't break the chain
at some point in their predictions,
there are going to be other Patricia Hearsts,
the blueprint is plain,
it works

A year and a half after her kidnapping,
she's in the safe arms of the law.
So, what does she do?
Patty gives the revolutionary salute,
even when she's in handcuffs.
And when she's booked,
she's asked her occupation
and what does she say?
Urban guerilla.

Bailey, I just –
I don't know him,
you know,
like he just kind of drifts in
and you know,
says blah, blah, blah
and I just go,
oh,
okay.

It was never true that our objective was to reconvert her.

You can almost see how Patty couldn’t relate to her—you know, trying to be so self-righteous and so upright.

Well, I always knew
that the Lord was in my life,
kind of on my shoulder.
I started to stray off
I always knew His hand
was there to bring me back.
I got to the house,
put my bags down in the entry,
went right to the kitchen
and the first thought on my heart was
I need to hear Jesus.
I picked up that Bible
and started in Matthew 1:1.
For that whole five days
I read and cried
and read and cried.

In short order, she returned to being the Patty Hearst of Hillsborough, California, the heiress herself.

It's kind of fun because back then,
there's nothing else to do but paint your nails.
It's really exciting.
I have been crocheting now.
At least, my mother came in and she asked –
she had asked me,
about my hair,
you know,
like
can I change it back?
She asked if there was a beauty parlor.

Her eyes are,
for the most part,
downcast,
as if she were sharing a secret with
herself.

She’s such a devoted, old-fashioned Southern lady, that we just died watching her facade break. That hysteria wasn’t just grief that Patty was gone—it was guilt, you know, ‘What have I done wrong?’

I'm being treated in accordance
with the Geneva Convention
and one of the conditions being
that I am not being tried
for crimes which I'm not responsible for.
I'm here because
I'm a member of a ruling class family,
and I think you can begin to see the analogy.

She writes these dramatic
love letters to her boyfriend saying,
"I want to keep up the fight for the revolution."
And she wants to overthrow the government in America,
which she spells A-M-E-R-I-K-K-K-A.

Q. And you were reading a paper, were you not, when they were in the store?
A. Yes.
Q. And you looked up from that paper, did you not, and you saw that William Harris was being held on the ground by someone and being detained, isn’t that true?
A. Yes.
Q. And you picked up an automatic weapon and shot in the direction of Mel’s Sporting Goods Store?

OBJECTION

I have a really nice brown pantsuit.
Al got it.
He has really good taste.

Trish Tobin
is telling her
that she is about to head off to Switzerland
to go skiing for three weeks.
I mean,
so what you have
in this compressed circumstance
is the old life skiing in Switzerland
for three weeks,
and Patty is saying,
I've got a life now.
I've got a new life.

The Hearsts are really ramping up for this one.
He is a bright guy,
but in terms of just his manner and his dress,
you couldn't help but be struck by
how square he was.

Q: I've become conscious and can never go back to the life we had before." Do you recall saying those words?
A: I don’t recall seeing a transcript of that tape.

I have chosen to stay and fight.

She is still an uncommonly handsome woman, prettier in fact than any of her daughters.

It’s a miracle she survived at all.
The ordeal nearly killed me,
Mrs. Hearst once admitted and,
asked what sustained her,
she answers instantly: My religion.
Yet her victory over despair
sometimes seems more apparent than real.
After her divorce, she moved to Beverly Hills,
where she supported Catholic causes
and joined the Beverly Hills Garden Club.

I just want to tell you like, my politics are real different from way back when.
Obviously, right.

Q. Is it not true that you ejected
from your automatic weapon
a live round and placed into it
an additional clip?
A. I did not have an automatic weapon.
Q. You did not?
A. No.
Q. What type of weapon did you have?
A. It was an M-I carbine.

She’s a victim of thought control by terrorists. And all I can do is hope and pray that God will bring her home again.

She was de-programmed and de-radicalized,
returned to the persona
more similar to what she was
She was essentially brainwashed
by her side team and her lawyers.
By the time she walked into the courtroom,
nail polish,
nice pair of shoes,
very well dressed,
it was impressive.

I'm terribly happy. More happy than predacious.
Do you have any notion what you'll say to her when you see her?
I'll tell her I love her.
Are there questions that you want to ask her?
No questions in my mind.


I want to see my parents, and my sisters... I'm really happy to be going home.

Twirly, whirly, curly Q
Hair upon my head.
People say it’s beautiful.
To me, it’s merely dead.

Twirly, whirly, curly Q
Whenever I take a nap,
I look like lightening came down from heaven
And gave me a little zap!

Twirly, whirly, curly Q
Whether wind, rain, or snow.
Humidity is my enemy
I have a **** afro.

Twirly, whirly, curly Q
People stop and stare.
They ask me if it’s natural
As if they really care.

Twirly, whirly, curly Q
I think it’s rather boring.
You pay buckets to look like me
It’s so freaking annoying.

Twirly, whirly, curly Q
Girls tell me that they’re jealous.
But if they really knew the struggle,
They’d agree it’s rather hellish.

Twirly, whirly, curly Q
Straight hair would be a dream.
I’d brush and brush and brush my hair
And never even scream.

Twirly, whirly, curly Q
Alas, it’s here to stay.
But I guess that’s what makes me different,
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

c n i r p o e o x u c g p n s h g v i y
v p y r g s k e k q w g x e o r q k q d
h d l z f e f z o l i o c z e v e n o v
s e a s x p n l c x c g j d s r o p o a
c k c t h a y k h k t x j u a z n j h f
w k g q d c h v i w x u g z f a d i p z
f t x q p s n p q v m f u s b u a v k x
b h m h g e w k z d q b i l z r n q d k
c p u u y i c v l g k u e o b i j t k v
f j n w k g t t f s y q m g n r d e f l
t y o r j h e g v w v g z c d p m g c r
m s j f a q h e s f s o n x h z y s s k
z b u b m n m e v a t o m a d j f l c a
x q g x n a g y l f l h z b m w l k s q
y p e g g f y b b z o p x g c u f b t a
h e l p j g r z n x z e d g n n c s b b
n o i t c a r t s i d u z w u w w f r j
z l t f n t d o j u p o p k t l y s s k
d m a x f l m s s r b m z g m a i o q j
e r n i o w h k s q m o e t u r w u s a

© 9-18-05 J Stevens  3/4
   8    8       q       q       8       8        8       8     8 -  8       8        8         q
   1    2       3       3        3   -   2   |  1       1     2 -  1       1        7.         1  
Is   your heart now breaking, from the sorrows    in      your    life?

q   q    8    8     8    8     8   8    8        q     8  8    h
           1    1     2    3      3   3    3        3     2-1     2
        Are you de-feet-ed in your walk with Him?

1-2    3   3    3    3    1      2       1      1    7.       1
The Father above can heal your broken heart.

  1      1      2      3      3     1       2            1        7-1
And set your  feet on   the   path     once   again.
----------------------------------------------------------­-----

Are you tired    of    living    not knowing where you’re bound?
Do you  feel    desperation    all     around?
The Father above can give you  peace  again
And set your  feet on   the   road to Heaven bound.
----------------------------------------------------------­-----
Do you know of God’s grace and His mercy which is free?
Do you need a new touch of His love?
Just open the door of your heart and let Him in.
Receive the Joy and Love from above.

-- chorus -----------------------------
3    5   5      5        5      3     4    |   3    
Open up your heart and say – aah.

3     4    5  -  5     5-3     4      3
Let the Doctor above look in.

3    5    5     5       5        4    3    4     3 – 2      1
Open up your heart and let the sorrow out,

   1    2     3         3      1      2      1-7-1
And be filled with His love within.
---------------------------------------------------------­-----

3 - 5    5      5       5        3     4        3              q      q      q
Open up your heart and say – aah,   …  aah, aah, aah!

  3      5         3       5     5     3       q    q     q
Give Him your life this day.

  3 -4   3      2       1        1     1   2     3       2      1
Open up your heart and let the Son shine in

  1     2     3         3      1      2-1    7 - 1
And be filled with His spirit today.

Open up your heart…. Open up your heart.

He  will fill  you with His spirit……

He  will fill  you with His spirit again.