Let’s go trainspotting
or did I mean train hopping?
we’ll pick apples from the trees
out back under dark night skies
when nobody is watching
and we’ll drink water from gas station bathrooms
and coca cola from the glass bottle
Do you think
that before the cell phone towers were erected
people ever sent drunk letters?
Natives on Ayahuasca sending smoke signals
which say heyy!
I was thinking about you
and in the morning do you think they check the embers
and go oh ****
what did I do last night?
the chief is going to give me so much ****
the thing is
the things I say to you
with something in my system
are truer than all of the well calculated
across the room stares and smiles
and at night
while I stand lookout
while you pick apples
maybe I’ll drink some apple cider
and send you a drunk conversation
but when I’m with you
It’s like I’m drunk on puppy love
so you can believe
every text I send you

I've grown accustomed to the feeling
of never being able to rest

I fall asleep, troubled
and wake too soon
to the dramas
of life and death

[I thought I transcended
this a long time ago]

but, surprise!
there is more to learn
more work to do

There is another corner to turn
that will give me better grip,
[i tell myself this and believe it]

all of this is for the best....
the way I get caught up
every time a star shines
brighter than my soul

I forget everything and
I am one in the light
and darkness
again

I am an innocent child
in the arms of the mother
once again

Hoping, Praying
that the goddess will
wake up
to a new world
and claim an equal throne
to stop the destruction and madness
of the martian mindset

This red stained rusted map
proves nothing

All the warrior needs
is love

And we will give it
selflessly

So that maybe, like them
we will stumble across
the reflection of ourselves,
as honest and true
as possible

And we will not censor
ourselves, through
brightest light
and darkest dark

We will not hide a single aspect
of ourselves

and I will gladly admit that half the time
I am a demon
Born of pride and power

And half the time
I try to find my wings
and live beyond the limits
of what I see in front
of me

I never believed my eyes
. . . not once

But I always believed
that
these chaos nights
of liquid despair
and makeshift relation
meant something more

I always held the belief that
I'd get where I was going
regardless of distraction

But now I'm not so sure

Because now I feel the pressure

of eternity in the checks and balances
of the dual toned grid
in which we all lie down
and sleep
in silent surrender

resigned to my fate-
I am the child
throwing his hands up
in the air

I am the moon
surrendering to the sun

Singing,
               "this little light of mine
                was never my own
                                  to shine"

It always belonged to the future

The dead souls

The great sages
and fountains of wisdom
that the world has yet to see

For she has yet to birth them

And she has yet to feel me. . .

The goddess of ideals and perfected imagination
who will wake up as I do

And look into my eyes

And realize

We've both been dreaming
for far too long

From time to time, every now and again, I'm presented with some luck
In the form of you telling me that you're happiest while around we muck
I can say with my whole corazon that you've made my night more than once
Perhaps without knowing, sometimes on purpose, you leave me standing there like a lovedrunk dunce
You're sweeter than cane and plenty more than able
All I want every so often is to hear you say it above the table
I don't know what you're thinking, you're one I can't read,
But I assure you no doubt that my heart beats like a stampede
When you're around, I want nothing else but your company
Whether I can see you or touch you or the room houses just me
I like you, you know? Of course you've found out
I've told you so much I've worn the phrase out

you looked of sanctity
but tasted of sin.
with your wide eyes of blue
& your porcelain skin.

your lips felt so perfect,
right up against mine.
almost as if we were
old stars aligned.

your words were like honey,
they slipped out so smooth.
& so often you spoke,
there was no interlude.

word after word,
I was spellbound.
&
kiss after kiss,
feelings unwound.

you removed all my layers;
left me stripped bare.
and all that was left were
strands of blonde hair.

were they yours?
were they mine?
were they merely a figment
of my lovedrunk mind?

till now i’m unsure,
but would I like to know?
we’ll leave this unanswered,
farewell my faux beau.

shattered shards remain
lodged in the carpet,
small enough to cut
a kitten’s paw,
leftovers
from those terrible twenties
and learning to walk
lovedrunk
across a darkened room.