and maybe i'm upset
i only shove people out of my life
when i know
i'm going to hurt them
i'm the most toxic being to ever live
stop reminding me
And in the time of the night the sweats come.
The cold shivers arrive and you become uncomfortable.
That's the time you literally yearn for it.
If only in that moment you didn't feel so **** alone.
Feeling lost, hopeless, broken.
I don’t want to live
I don’t want to be alive
I don’t want to suffer this existence
I don’t want to watch everyone else turn out fine
I don’t want them to watch me wither and fall...
But here I am
Falling, fading, failing
Day after day
As the hope I once had fails me
And all I see is darkness
Death is inviting
Oh, Merciful God, won’t you let me die?
This is cruel
To leave me like this
Damaged, wounded, suffering
AND YOU WONT EVEN ******* SAY WHY
God, you don’t hear me
Ugh, what raw pleasure I feel
To contradict my upbringing
To scream at what I’ve always believed in
No... I don’t quite mean it...
But I feel it
And I will say absolutely anything
If it gets me to feel
Mm... how exquisite...
**** I should’ve gotten drunk
When You are old, will you remember me?
The good, the bad, the best and the sad?
Because time passes by as fast as can be,
And I think I’m going mad.
The clouds drift, the sky splits-
fire and brimstone baby.
Little sparks light up the dark;
A dance of intangible ideas
trying to make their mark.
But the deal is-
— The End —