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nanda  Dec 2017
draft messeges ;
nanda Dec 2017
every night
i dream of you

i recall your dreamy eyes
the scent of your shampoo
i trace your lips
kiss your jaw

but then i wake up
every night
at the same time

your memory is so alive in my mind
and it is crazy
how the mind can create such wonders

never did i kiss your lips
never did i held your hand
yet all i feel when i close my eyes
is your touch

it has been years now
i must be a ghost to you
someone that you used to know
a faint dream never to be re-told

but to me you are my sun
i wake to see your eyes
i touch to feel your hand
i smell to inhale your scent

and when i rise
all there is to do
is write down four words
and then head back home

never will i send that messege
never will i see you again
but wouldn’t it be a wonder
if i ever hit ‘send’ ?
for all those messeges that were and weren’t scent in the middle of the night
for my love
I love the way you love me
The way you hold me.
Your body like silk
Soft to the touch.
your touch like angel kisses
Each sigh like messeges sent from heaven.
The way you look into my eyes
Such power.
I love the way you wrap your body on mine.
I love the way you feel each of my muscles,
Feeling every detail,
Every vein
I love the way you have your way with me
And with each ******
A storm of happy emotions
And new beginings come to life.
The way you have your way with me
Unlike anything else.
So splended.
I love the way you cuddle me,
You care so deeply
so genuinely
Make me feel like a king
To the point where i sing.
You are worth everything.
I give you my all
And you take it
And beg
For more
For3ver  Apr 2020
Untitled
For3ver Apr 2020
Nothin I do but sit here and stare
Contemplatin all of my fears
I miss my grandpa in unimaginable ways
Fearin how he would respond to my ways
I sit here and stare at your gaze
I wish I knew how many days
We’re left so I knew my fate
And I wouldn’t be late
I’m sorry for all the apologizing
Ima hypocrite but I won’t admit it
I hate people who lie to themselves
But still can’t find myself
For all the times my moms been hit
And I didn’t do nothin
Wishin one of these days I’d get my wish
I think the lamps is broken
I’m a ******* and I know it
But I’m not gonna change
And as long as I say I’m not a hypocrite
Then I’m not right?
Wrong
**** this song
**** all the things Thas wrong
My life ain worse but it’s never been good
I guess that’s why I’m misunderstood
The stars the only ones that help
To bad the future covers them up
It’s been a long time since I seen her smile
And I bet she better off without
I drove her away what a surprise
To many things keep me up at night
I wonder when my brother will pop his last
Yesterday it was ketmanine
Today it’s sum xans
The bloods mixed with the alcohol
I wonder if it’ll be my downfall
Only time I feel sane and escape
Is when my lighter shows it’s flame
And I purchase a one way ticket
Across the nation
For 10 dollars I have my cheap vacation
Nothin lasts as long as you want
Hopefully in two years this gon stop
Hopefully this poem will end
And I won’t relive it to the end
I don’t wish for my own death
Just to go to sleep and not wake up
Cause maybe some peace will come
I drove her to drugs and I know it
I left her but I couldn’t help it
She was to blame
I was to blame
We both know it
Moms moved on
Sobriety seems to be helpin
But she always relapses over somethin
The coke stains still on the mirror
“Do as I say not as I do”
“Do as I say not as I do”
“Do as I say not as I do”
How many times till I’ll move on
I wish I could write songs
And be like all those that help me
But I’m not that lucky
I’m not that lucky
I’m not that lucky
Hopefully I’ll live to be happy
Hopefully I’ll have a family
So I don’t ruin it
And have somethin to live for
To all those that worry
I’m not contemplating
If I was it’d be to late already
I wanna drink so I’ll tell myself the truth
It is what it is
My thoughts carried in soot
Carried till I kick the boot
I wish I was a doctor so I coulda save ya
No shame in the ones that’s broken
I miss my bestfriend but she’s better off
My girl don’t know half of my problems
I called god hopin he’d pick up
I’ve sent him the messeges
Maybe there stuck
In transit I sit in traffic
My mind sifts the past tense
What memory will haunt me today
The interrupted last phone call
The one where my sister was off k
How bout one from the other day
I popped it only cause I wanted
“Sigh” i don’t know
Settlement?
What do you do when everybody’s trippin
Stay sober and wait for them to finish
No, get high and forget your problems
Don’t ever admit them
Just forget it
member them times I told you I loved you
Just forget it
Where he at, did he forget it?
A call every two weeks don’t do it
A call every two weeks don’t do it
A call every two weeks don’t do it
Don’t ask how I’m doin
If you cared you would remember
These memory’s stick forever
You were lucky to be drunk
I can’t forget it
I can’t forget it
I won’t forget it.

— The End —