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154 · May 2019
Cestrum Nocturnum
Jayne E May 2019
Heady night jasmine fills the air
Cicada rhythm accentuates
quickening pulse and rising passion, as my thoughts drift to you,
this sultry Summers eve
Air thick as cestrum nocturnum
Fills my senses,
solo Ruru call off in the distance,
as my thoughts drift to you,
this Summer eve made for lovers.
Slightest breeze sweeps my skin
with its kisses, delicious, delicious,
I stroll in my garden counting my stars and my wishes,
As my thoughts drift to you,
this hot Summers eve, my darling.
If I could pull you to me now, my sweet,
I would cover you with kisses,
and lay out on your body,
each one of those stars & wishes,
Again my thoughts drift to you, elusive lover,
This unbearable Summers eve in my garden.

J.C. 21/02/2019
Jayne E May 2019
This day of lovers
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
I show you
Begin the day as lovers
We will end this way too
I will show you
All my secret colours
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
I will take you
To my secret place
When the sun is setting low
In this lovers day sky
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
I lead you through
The rambling roses
Along the cliff face
As the sun is setting
Heavy in the sultry summer sky
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
Through the reserve we go
No one knows this place but me
Perched high above the sea
My friend used to own the house behind
Shhh.... Its my secret place
You are the first I have brought here
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
I will lay you down in the soft grass
Near so near the edge of the cliff
Give you all I have to give
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
Let my hair fall down around your face
As scarab pendant swings between my ******* catches the last glint
Of the setting sun
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
As I kiss your lips
Kiss your eyes
Kiss your neck
Kiss your face
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
Kiss you deep & wet
Pull you close to me now
You give all others away
We will seal it here
On the edge of the cliff
With the crashing sea below
Taste the salt on our lips
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
I make you mine.
My Valentine...

14/02/2019. J.C.
Jayne E Apr 2019
He unnecessary **** me
none involuntary thrill me
no more

she intentionally milled him
aft her blood he spilled him
no more

he clitorally kiss activate me
she delta ******* radiate him
no more.

he be gracious her calefactor
she his Arctic heat retractor
no more

they astral starlight terpsichoreans
they dual heliac scopophiliacs
no more

he she once connubial consociation
she he whilom beauteous collaboration
no more.

J.C. "littlebird"  20/03/2019.
151 · Jun 2020
hauntings
Jayne E Jun 2020
you are back
returned
to haunting me
stalking my dreams
you and the other
monsters
all ghosts seem
to return at once
I can taste you
feel you
wanting another
pound of flesh
for your larder
hedonistic as ever
too much
was never enough
for you
panic rises
black dots fusing
as always
obscuring light
******* the oxygen
out of my room
the air replaced
with your scent
each inward breath
suffocates me further
tick tock tick tock
slowing down the clock
dragging out nights shadows
I left you long ago
why can't you
just let me go.

© J.C.
151 · Sep 2019
Excerpts #5
Jayne E Sep 2019
The man who reads life with his hands
unseen banalities yet profound he understands
intricacies of beauty missed by seeing eyes
unveiled by his touch there can be 
no disguise
his elegant fingers all finely steeped in grace
life and beautys details eloquently 
he does trace
some may say blind applying a blanket label
others know better he is certainly more than able
to "see" what is hidden from our base seeing eyes
he intuites life's delicacies accuracy does surprise
as his deft fingers map my faces story lines
his unseeing eyes & seeing hands unwrap my mind.
© J.C.
Response to a write about 'blindness'
Jayne E Apr 2019
Ultima Thule aka MU69
less to do with *** position
more about new frontiers
in space of the outer kind
new horizons & what they find
while hurtling thru space - time

situation is this
currently over 6 billion km
(4 billion miles imperially)
from mother Earth
hurtling
at breakneck speed
toward
Ultima Thule.
what will they find on
space rock 2014MU69?

and when done onwards again
to seek the wall
phenomenon most mysterious
on the edge of our system of the sun
uncharged interstellar hydrogen
meets charged sun particles
from the heliosphere
meet
take a heliopause
in space

then again space race
throwing wall of light
ultraviolet
threshold dancing
will it reveal
a new dawn a new galaxial seal?
and when all said and done
billions of dollars and geeky fun
to find a space wall made from sun

J.C. "littlebird" 27/03/2019.
151 · May 2019
Pater absentia
Jayne E May 2019
You did not beat me
you did not abuse me
you did not ****** me
you did not see me
you did not talk to me
you did not need me
you did not love me
until you needed me to change
your **** bag,
until you needed me to
feed you naso-gastrically
until you needed me
to push the morphine
until you needed me a kid
at 13, to minister to you
tell you not to be afraid to die
that it was going to be alright.
until you needed to confess
to me, the sins of the father
until it was just me and you
mother brother spinning off
to the edge of the world
not coping not dealing
like I could do.
until you needed me to soothe
you like you never soothed me
offer you comfort like you
never did comfort me
until you needed me to see you
like you were blind to me
even tho I was right in front of you
all my life in your life
until you needed to tell me,
"I love you daughter", not for me
but for you.
until you needed me to tell you,
"I forgive you dad " and I do.
until you needed me to see you die
then you were gone, and for me
nothing new, situation remains
the same
unchanged.

J.C. mid 1987... Written at age 15.
Posted a couple of historical poems, this one written at 15.
150 · May 2020
organic machine
Jayne E May 2020
organic machine

of natures engineers
webs touched
by solar gleams
organic artwork
we see
structual intricacy
illuminated
dancing light fed
suns firstbeams
hitting morning dew
droplets catch colours
as prismatic mimicry
feigns fragile delicacy
underneath dancing light
steely strength persists
pretty deathtrap
shining bright

diptera
culicidae
muscidae
calliphoridae
Et al insectas

all escape
organic machine
visibility overload
until hot sun
shrouds anew

© J.C.
150 · Dec 2019
night winds
Jayne E Dec 2019
curtains billow and sag
the summer night wind
lends no relief
to my toss and turn
it just blows more thoughts
of you
around my unsleeping mind
dusts the empty side of the bed
with longing
I can feel you
inside me
I feel it the pain
the ache & the want
coming off you
in waves
it feeds my own pining
the hot night wind
lends no relief.

J.C. 02/12/2019 3.33am
149 · May 2019
Astral dreaming
Jayne E May 2019
Tripping the light fantastic
along the astral plane
all time runs concurrent
a secret most arcane.
The me that is now, that was then
that will tomorrow be too
all exist in their own space
running parallel in time.

As I dance through the Aether
searching for the light
astral plane dreaming
in the dead of the night.

Catch a glimpse of each me
they say that's deja vu
but have you never wondered
how it can be that you already knew
how it all plays out before you
moments before it occurs
"Already seen" say the French
closed minds may call it,
neurology, a curse.

But I know a secret,
a secret verily arcane
I've seen the world's spin in unison
whilst I tripped the light fantastic
along the Astral plane
all time moving concurrently
all versions spinning precisely
at once
the then, the now & future me
separate yet together
such a beautiful dance.

Come traverse the aether with me
take a leap, take a chance
I will show you the past & the future
all existing in the now
brush off your preconceptions
take my hand, I'll lead the way
but remember before we take flight
keep hold of an anchor
to ground you to this world
we can only visit briefly for
a moment in the night
upset the fragile balance and
all worlds will collide.

J.C. honey-tiger 11/11/2018.
149 · May 2019
Sunday
Jayne E May 2019
Red dragon
Black sea

White chip
Crested Tui

Blue Stilton
Green tea

(That was Sunday afternoon for me)

J.C. 23/05/2019.
149 · Jun 2019
M.I.C.H.A.E.L.
Jayne E Jun 2019
M.I.C.H.A.E.L.

Michael, how your name feels leaving my lips
Michael, the way you love me like honey drips
Michael, how you say my name when passions high
Michael, the way you feel so right no need for why's
Michael, how my heart sings when you are near
Michael, the way you care for me so tender dear
Michael, how my pulse quickens for your touch
Michael, the way I love you, knowing you love me just as much.
Michael, how I need you in my life forever more
Michael, the way you, my one and only, I do adore.

J.C. Honey-tiger 14/06/2019.
For my love..
149 · Sep 2020
cause célèbre (a repost)
Jayne E Sep 2020
A repost in honour of all the 'regular' everyday people who have lost their lives to the Covid19 pandemic

cause célèbre


Gloria Vanderbilt died today
princess Diana, was on the news
beautifully dead,
walking the dusty trails
of Angolan land mine fields,
without protection
of any shields.

"I cried the day that Bowie died"
(and the world cried with you)
we shed our tears
our sighs & whys,
when a famous one dies,
but what of the good human
who slips away
without any voices,
without any words,
to say?

The one who gave much more
than they could spare
passes away,
shown no care
the loved yet forgotten,
once fine now
the downtrodden.

The mother who sang lullabies
dried millions of tears,
hushed thousands of sighs
with warm embraces,
with loving care,
slips into the nothing,
exits an unaffected world.

The lover once lovely
dead in an alley
or a ditch,
too many hits,
too many scars,
unseen unfelt
unmissed(sic)
by hundreds of
passing cars

Beauty rotting
cold blood clotting,
passersby
passing by
unaware,
would they even care
that she was broken
long before dead,
a world callous and cruel
undid her lovely head?

I understand fame,
I understand célèbre,
I understand shame,
I hang my head.

© J.C.
A repost, in memory of all the everyday 'regular',  remarkable, people who have recently lost their lives to the  Covid19 pandemic.  Originally a musing on how much more 'importance' we place on the passing of 'famous' people, when every day, millions of everyday 'regular' remarkable humans die...what value do we assign to a life, and why should one life count for more than another, just by virtue of notoriety or fame or 'celebrity'... Anyway, it seemed like an appropriate time to repost this one...written the day Gloria Vanderbilt died last year. Way before we got caught in the grip of Covid19, and a new way of living was born.
148 · Jun 2019
Night breezes
Jayne E Jun 2019
you sweep in on scented night breeze
with utterings that bring you to my knees
intentions set here clear to please
her nature relents freely to your tease

this heady scent intoxicates thee
your affections now aggrandize me
this penners pen will panegyrize you
appetencies too sweet be blown through

this dance transcends base hypnotic
sifts the filaments within unto ******
her delta grande radiates blue a' glow
your beacon signal guides to my flow

as our desire rises to bliss yet unknown
tides overwhelm us then drive us home
the breakers wild crash break all around us
within calm eye our peace is found just.

J.C. honey-tiger 15/05/2019.
147 · Sep 2019
ghosts.
Jayne E Sep 2019
hauntings & how they roll
ghosts how they
collect the toll
once in place
inhabiting space
in the padlocked
and dusty corners
of packed away tight
out of time mourners
the mines of the mind
hide ghosts
shadowed and shaded
packed away
filed under hurt and jaded
upgraded for new joys
but not forgotten
as is ghosts ploys
to appear after their
day is done
has you thinking
you've finally won
then as quick
as a whip
with head fuckery
time does slip
back
back
back
to undead days
when non-ghosts
smiles sneers smack
long hours spent at play
in a finger snap
a branch crack
a drop of pain
the aperture opens
once more
and with it
the pasts door
flung open wide
and bare
daring you to dare
look that ghost in the face
boldly refute
its cold embrace
remember
remember
remember
the pain in truckloads
your heart charred
blackened ember
turn away
from the memory
walk away
from the feeling
stop your broken self
from reeling
a ghost
is just
a ghost
apparition
at most
one thing just
leads to another
another's pain
feeds the rediscover
transports you
back
back
back
time line shifts
then cracks
temporary possession
by pasts ghosts
procession...
let it go
let it go
let it go....

J.C. 12/09/2019.
147 · Apr 2019
Wordplay
Jayne E Apr 2019
If you can't take it, then I'll take it,  I'm taking it all back
When my back is against the wall, if you can't back me, then I'm backing out to outback once and for all
if you try to out me, then I'll outfox you, fox hole you, dig yourself out, this fox is out, no close call at all.
Go ahead, I dare you, try head me off at the pass, double dare me, can't scare me, "off with their heads!" is the decry.
Denounce me deplore me, regail and rail me
Execrate excoriate me, disparage deprecate me.
Besmirch and bemoan me,
Sully, stain, soil and spoil me
It's all just 'noise' to me in the end
Of no consequence.
146 · May 2019
Loves (s)warm
Jayne E May 2019
Back in my bed under covers
A place made perfect for lovers
All softened light lovely & warm
my honey-bee's love upon me does swarm

show me now dearest I beg of you
the things your lovers body can do
to quieten down my building storms
as my passions rain down see me transform

from sweet quiet rose to rolling like thunder
all my mysteries will pull you under
into my now swirling eddies
my body made just for you is more than ready
to show you how much I do love thee
by loosened tresses or on bended knee
Its urgent my passion & will see your fire freed

I beg you to
burn me down to ember red ashes rain down on me loves sweeter lashes
your mind I love but it cannot be denied
your honeyed ***** I crave to release my sighs
so take me now with strong wild desire
I will give it all back to send us much higher

my tongue my hands my ***** my hips
uttered soft words drip from my lips
no doubt felt for how much I want you
on my knees, love, I beg you take me do

J.C. honey-assassin 29/05/2019.
146 · Jul 2020
painting by numbers
Jayne E Jul 2020
before the pale winter sun
has entertained thoughts
of pushing
its watercolour light
into the unfolded corners
of  this long cold night
a solitary Tui
perched
in the highest branches
of the ancient Puriri tree
outside my sleeping windows
sings
searching out his mate
serenading in another
distilled day
and filling my weary being
with little droplets of joy
the white tufted bird
is just being a bird
for him
nothing extraordinary
for me
his complex trills
clicks whirs
interspersed
with melodic bell like
bursts of song
cast out
into the monochromatic dawn
seeming to bleed colour
into the grayscale
feeding my poets soul

© J.C.
146 · Dec 2019
my eternal flame
Jayne E Dec 2019
Your love is the soothe
the succour
the spark and hot flame
the embers
ever smouldering
at the core of my being
when lovingly you
moan my name
a growled whisper
at the peak of our passion
I feel every ounce
of your love for me
as we fall
into perfect sync
our bodies
our hearts
align
and nothing exists
outside of our fused heat
it is more
so much deeper
than physical release...
In those moments
I have all I could ever need
you become my air
my nourishment
my shelter
and my bones
my skin
my pounding heart
become
your bones
your fevered skin
your pounding heart
with you
inside me
beside me
our skin pressed close
the universe dissolves
and evolves
as you growl my name
so lovingly in ******
time stops
you pull me in
and I let go
in ecstacy
in joy
in love
I have never felt more loved
more beautiful
more right in my skin
than when you growl my name
tell me that you love me
rain kisses on my face
as i shudder and tremble
in your loves embrace
colours bursting
exploding stars
behind my eyes...
you are the soothe
the succour
the spark
in my heart
the eternal burning flame
when you lovingly
utter my name...

J.C. 14/12/2019, @ 3.33pm
love, connection, tenderness, passion, ***, ****** synthesia, bliss, joy, love of my life.
145 · Nov 2019
non thoughts
Jayne E Nov 2019
my thoughts have become
non thoughts
since you won my heart
no more
do any thoughts exist
of being touched
by anyone but you
no more
can I even summon
the filamental thread
of imagining another's
lips on my lips
your hands only
now exist
to caress my skin
pull me into
your loving embrace
stroke my cheek
and thread your fingers
through mine
in lovers repose.

J.C. 30/11/2019. 4.44pm
145 · Sep 2019
contradictions
Jayne E Sep 2019
dreamscape gliding
just above tundra
sliding over
whilst slipping under
crack in the surface
falling down
arms flail upwards
fight the drown
desert plains edged
by melting mountains
gravel mouth parched
amid rich fountains
walking the line
with no clear direction
mind's eye open
yet no thought detection
a new age dawns
as old world's crumble
dreams tied in sheets
walls crack & tumble
a confusing mess
with varifocal focus
running lost & blind
to find pinpoint locus
it's a contradiction
and a firm position
another nights dream
feeding supposition

© J.C. 10/09/2019.
144 · Oct 2020
falling stars
Jayne E Oct 2020
dappled morning light
the gentleness
of early suns
flickering through
leaves
dancing on a summer breeze
filtered rays
curtains drawn tight
against the intruding day
your steady breath
dusting my skin
will always be
how I want to wake
your sleepy voice
gentle
pulling me
into the new day
pulling me
into you
I could stay here
like this
entwined
with you
letting day fall into night
and night bloom into day
the world beyond our window
dissolving
I would if we could
stay here
breathing you in
my oxygen
the falling stars
of your kisses upon my skin
firing my heart
with love.

© J.C.
Jayne E Jun 2020
monster #1

monster #1
gifted to me
my first taste
of real
guttural sorrow
stitched my lips
sealed tight
with threats of
"you'll wake up - dead tomorrow"
as a child
I was not stupid
quite the opposite
in fact
but no child
endures weeks of torture
and comes out
the other side
intact
monster #1
had a partiality
for young
fresh maids
meticulous
and precise
he was sick
morally bankrupt
sadistic
in spades
he walked the world
dressed in the guise
of perfect gentleman
had everybody fooled
as only the best
true monsters can
he took what he craved
with no care
for damage done
narcissistic
sociopath
decidedly depraved
not satisfied
'til her
young innocence
he had won

~~~~~~~~~

monster #2*

monster #2
was an entirely
different kettle of stew
wore the costume
of a beloved
and then used
what he knew
12 years of 'love'
both given & taken
gold rings sealed
all others forsaken
when love flew away
a true monster revealed
rather than release
the 'one true love of his life'
he plotted with vengeful
dark caprice
the undoing
of his trusting sweet wife
the best laid plans
can still go awry
(thankfully)
as on Valentines night
she was
intended to die
11th hour pleas
from the monster
to his crew
kept her
out of her grave
but not all
could he undo
though he cried
and he wailed
filled with
trepidation
and regret
that ship had
already sailed
too little too late
beaten and bruised
her they did violate
toyed with
debased
and used
once more
she did break
as monster #2
a slaughterhouse
of his wife
he did make.


- epilogue -

any sane human
might ask
may seek to know
why would a man
who professes
to love her so much
orchestrate
such an
ungodly horror show?

her crime was
simple
she left him
his anger distilled
if he cannot have her
then nobody will
so throw her
to the brutes
and bid them
to take
their sickly
violent fill

J.C.

Not all monsters start out that way ...it makes it more unbearable, more painful, when there was real love as the foundation...
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3812169/bad-habit-rewrite/
two ends of the spectrum of violation and abuse...#1 a relative 'stranger', & ruiner of children. #2 the opposite, beloved of more than a decade, turned bitter and vengeful, when loves well ran dry, because I could no longer live with his increasing violence, fed by his deepening obsession and deisre to 'own' me like a prized possession...
143 · Oct 2020
shaking stars
Jayne E Oct 2020
You're out there
spinning galaxies
with fine tipped fingers
compressing time
then
stretching it out
into gossamer fibrils
casting each
diaphonous strand
into a perfect
jordans curve
infinite
ideal
iterations
looping
into each other
incessantly
less maven
more childlike
and lost
endlessly striving
to rewrite all those
coded memories
becoming
cocooned
confused
soffocating
and bruised
trapped
by your own
woven web of
shimmering lies.

© J.C.
142 · Nov 2019
twin flames
Jayne E Nov 2019
you complete me
the missing piece
of the enigma puzzle
found
without realisation
it was ever lost
or even existed
this thing
we have found
with each other
this rare
beautiful
love
radiates
happiness
compassion
joy
inclusivene­ss
kindness
drenched
and ignited
by love
we are
twin flames
burning now
as one.

J.C. 11/11/2019 @11.11am
142 · Apr 2019
You waited too long...
Jayne E Apr 2019
You waited too long
its light dimmed from
brightest star in our night skies
to falling star burning too bright
right before it dies

You waited too long
the breath i held for only you
ran out of oxygen
burned out in a vaccum then
withered away to cold blue

You waited too long
the spell is now broken apart
yet manacled fetttered strong
your soul to my beaten heart
quiet lingers not for long

You waited too long
my colours ache to seek the free
all these tergiverstates a mess
as you flicker quiver wink blink me
come again behold me undress

You waited too long
my fired passion fades to grey
your velleity extinguished potent fire
our love with no locus left for play
embered draff detritus of our desire

You waited to long
so its dried wither on the vine
finds me persuasible no more
faltered failed to make you mine
I feign sublime and close our door.

J.C. "littlebird"  18/03/2019
142 · May 2019
Unbridled.
Jayne E May 2019
Stolen clutches in dark night
unspoken aches for lustful rites
fervent whispers from painted lips
over reaches to breech my cliffs
tantric tongues slow dancing slips
this inky night across flooded plains
weave the ****** hypnotic bob
through these wildly freed terrains
small quivering pulsing throb
awaken awash with sweetest desire
furtive fingers seek obtain & dance
to find inferno grimalkin lit on fire
gifted your tongue untied to entrance
proud presence stands fast and firm
accent to my sifted pearly softness
emplore me to wait as in set terms
bitten lip chained back rivers to my hips
shortened breaths restrain the slip
canters becoming gallops quicken must
push, pull, & once again this push of lust
damns all shattered now broken down
relent, release you me, free we drown.

J.C. "honey-tiger 05/05/2019.
140 · Feb 2020
Bad humans behave badly
Jayne E Feb 2020
she leans into the strain
forcing at the point

trying too hard painful
written all over her face

strives to be
the good (#2) wife

swears that she is
"a woman's woman"

but can't wait to stab
a sister in the back

wears her insecurities
like a gaudy housecoat

thinking unthinkingly
she has everyone fooled

professes love her mantra
while her eyes say bitter

maybe it's the palsy
bitterness of a crooked face

she's sure she can beguile
tilts her head a little too much

her up made pan cake face
creating powdered wrinkle rivers

keeps the leash short and tight
and thinks unthinkingly "he's mine"

she wound up tighter
than a dollar watch

he loose as a goose
has her well fooled

she winks as he slips the hood
one bad person de serves another

she believes he the perfect catch
I guess they are a perfect match


J.C.
140 · May 2020
panic
Jayne E May 2020
Waking up
panic rising
like bile
choking me
without you near
black dots fuse
together as fear
turning on all the lights
checking rooms
in the dead of night
pulse racing
heart thumping
there's no erasing
it
every sound has me
jumping
focus focus focus
on my breath
in

count

out

repress the urge
to scream and shout
as panic surge
after surge
holds me tight
in its grip
relentless
like a bad acid trip
feeling out of control
the seams tear and rip
counting hours til dawn
never felt so alone
lost in nights chasmic yawn
all I can do is
rock rock rock
try keep it tight
on lock
ride it out
knowing
what it's all about
doesn't mean
I can fix it though
some things
you cannot unknow
just hanging on
til first rays
of morning sun
some things
just can't be undone

© J.C.
panic attacks, memories, trauma, fear, aloneness...
139 · Aug 2019
love (for Michael)
Jayne E Aug 2019
I am pulled to you
like air
when underwater
I want to say your name
over and over and over
it is beauty
to me
here
I will keep it
in my heart
on repeat
in the beats
two barreled
like your name
my heartbeats
echo
it
again
again
and again

* * 

the love I feel
for you
the vibration
of you
resonates
deeply within
our currents
flowing
particularly charged
producing
warm
enveloping
light

 * *

say my name
over and over and over
keep it in your heart
on repeat
in the beats
this love
replete.

J.C. honey-tiger 17/08/2019 4.44am.
138 · Jul 2020
scented death
Jayne E Jul 2020
boy2 & girl lure a young naïve boy
deep deep down into the well
to claim his mums love the ploy
motherless girl will steal his smell
tricked on a dare to stay 5 days
a lethal plan hatched never to tell
girl & boy2 plotted devious ways
to send the  boy on a trip to hell
nose held potion tipped in steep
soft the boy fell deathly asleep
into his chest the girl struck a knife
one two three & out bled his life
with same blade she set to work
her hands did neither shake or ****
cut out clean his scenting glands
armpits & groin with deft hands
shaved the gold hair off his head
a blessing the boy was now dead
mixed pig grease & fragrant oils
added the ****** fruits of her toils
building a scent to rub in her skin
so his sad mum will sense her akin
and foster the girl o'er all others
drawn to a child's natural scent
are  loving affectionate mothers
a trick so cruel it defies belief
his body unfound giving no relief
girl caught herself a loving mother
the mother lost her loving son
shallow earth grave did smother
a crime so heinous nobody won
the girl haunted for decades ahead
the mothers grief saw her undone
the girl spiralled crazy off her head
his body found all finally revealed
the deep dark well at last unsealed
all by a girl craving a loving mother
fostered the need to take anothers

J.C.
A little grim, lolz, not my usual 'style' write, & also unusual for me, completely fictional...sparked by a German series, I recently watched on Netflix, which was not so loosely based (in a modern setting) on one of my top 10 favourite books, (I have reread it many times over the past 20years), 'Perfume' by Patrick Süskind...
138 · May 2019
Waiting...
Jayne E May 2019
The waiting begins again
until you are here with me
getting closer to the end
Until it comes I'm left to yearn
each fibre of my body left in
suspended animation
to burn burn burn

all of this my pent up desire
halted at once but still on fire
panted breath all quieted for now
my thoughts race thinking of just how
you'll use your beautiful body & mind
to take me places I never could find
alone without your guiding hands
it's got me hot cheeked you understand

this sweetest torture game we play
is eating me up as I dissolve away
'til ember's and ashes all that remain
come back come back I beg to our game
of who can make the other first ignite
setting our minds and bodies bright alight
always ends in laughter sweet kisses too
I'm gone forever you have all my love true.

J.C.
138 · May 2019
Black Mirror
Jayne E May 2019
Curled up on the sofa
under the cover of imposed night
curtains pulled tight against the light
Black Mirror flickers on the screen
ticking away mostly unseen
under other covers
lovers
toes battling legs standing
their ground
lines drawn then rubbed out
could stay here forever
chasing our never
never land hand to hand
combat of a playful kind
time wiles serves to unbind
all of the nots undone in sighs
all of the "why's" kissed goodbye
and you my darling by my side
next time it's Ozark or killing Eve
but today Black Mirror I believe.

J.C. honey-toast 13/05/2019.
137 · Sep 2020
somersaulting into happy
Jayne E Sep 2020
It is important
that you know
just how much
you matter
regardless
of tempers flared
boundaries shattered
I've loved you
since
before you were born
all the joys we've shared
at first
just a fluttering tremor
always awake before dawn
then somersaults
and kicks in your dad's ribs
thru my belly
hard not to remember
but when I lay
a certain way
that warm September
just you and me
alone in peace
tranquility
so still
as a belly bump
you would be
sleeping inside me
as I slept too
just we
in harmony
perfect symmetry
you
taught me
the true essence
of happy

J.C.
I just came across this, written quite a time ago for my daughter...my first born.
137 · Sep 2019
Love haikus
Jayne E Sep 2019
Stars fall from my hair
Arched my body is Nuit
stardust brushed  your skin

~~~~~~

Catch my falling stars
As kisses upon your skin
Be earth to my sky

~~~~~~

J.C. undated...
136 · Sep 2019
Excerpts #6
Jayne E Sep 2019
Ok, a few in a row here, only my 'side' of the conversation as not my place to post another's lines....

Excerpts #6

*

The mere thought of your sweet kiss
your lips on mine brings sheer bliss
your arms around me in warm embrace
my hands either side of your lovely face
these thoughts alone do strange things
make my heart and my ***** ache and sing
I burn for your body in mine
I ache to be by your side
I need you like air to live
I want to give give give
All of my love to you
I'm ruined for any other
It's true.

*

Oh me oh my oh ohh la la
you make me blush and flush
my cheeks hot and secret places lush
are more than ready for that shove that push
you take my mind to very naughty places
and with it my heart pounds
and pulse races
my lavender garden is all for you
it's secret flowers all want to
open up and embrace you in
a luscious pool of lovely sin
my heat desires yours too
take me my darling do.

**

I could write non stop for days
about loving you and all the ways
you are so good and right for me
you set my heart, body, mind free
It is me who got the lucky catch
agreed we are a perfect match
I could not wish for any other
more in tune with me than you
my lover
I want to be with you all my days
never tire of showing you all the ways
that I love you deep and so true
my darling M it is in all ways all for you.**

*

It is true I do
I love you too
I love you deep
I love you true
I love you as much
as you love me too
I love your name
rolling off my lips
I love the same
the way you say
my name
ardent off your tongue
I love your nature
your essence, you
I love the kind things
you often do
I love your mind
and how it works
always striving for more
it never shirks
It's true my darling M
I'm in deep for you
I promise to always
love you true...
Jxxxxx

**

I'd like to share your shower
Wash you all over
scrub your back
let you feel my loves power
show you with actions
this love of ours is no hack
my love for you knows no factions

it is complete grown strong
from initial mutual attraction
open respectful communication
blossomed freely into adoration
now only to you my heart belongs
your words so sweet always true
move me deeply and never wrong
there can never any other for me than you

Yes I have known love once or twice
but never one so deep and real
replete with deeply felt feels
It is so much more than simply 'nice'
tender with open communication

it was inevitable my heart you'd steal
plus my desire for lots of fornication
emotional deep mind connection too
All my love and ALL my kisses
my everything it is all for you...
More love in motion poem/chats...
136 · Aug 2020
no words...
Jayne E Aug 2020
my love for you
the deep emotions
that fly around my heart
lifting me up
lighter than air
defy words
I have searched
reached out
tried to pull
those feelings
onto the page
but they fall
into flat air
the words
to fully express
my love for you
how much you mean
to me
how this love
runs deeper
than the Clutha river
is bigger
than Betelgeuse
how it
burns brighter
than the Sun
is clearer than
the waters of
lake Rotomairewhenua

simply
do not exist.

J.C.
Lake Rotomairewhenua (pronounced "rawtaw-myray-fenooa" aka The Blue Lake, is the clearest lake in the world, and is in our beautiful Sth Island, in the Nelson district, here in New Zealand...the Clutha, is a deep river, also in the Sth Island...
135 · Jun 2019
transcend
Jayne E Jun 2019
we transcend
space transmutes
time unbends
black shards
new found light
transforms
dull coal lines
to sparkled
marcasite
liquify the night
bursting
colours bright
we rearrange
time lines
slip the knot
as we redefine
follow the dot
to refine
realign
reunite in perfect time.

J.C. honey-tiger 25/06/2019, 3.05am.
Jayne E Jun 2020
there are
a few small pieces
of me with
edges quite sharp
not necessarily broken
just jagged and scarred
from things best
left unspoken
lest whispered close
in the dark
it's a cost
of stolen childhood
sweet innocence lost
not always understood
but can set one apart
precious pieces taken
with no asking
now shoulders
are a shaking
need a skill of masking
this sorrow deep
tears fall for years
as I
weep
weep
weep
a grieving
for the child
who at 12
stopped believing
the world is made of light
replaced instead
by cold terrors
in the dead of
each sleepless night
monsters are real
not just shadows
under the bed
they creep and they steal
forever more in your head
that which was taken
can never be renewed
trust all forsaken
the monster excited
his sick prize
he gleefully pursued
at first all smiles
and
'hey let's be friends'
as he dosed her soda
a sadistic means
to his wicked ends

monsters are real
not just under the bed
sometimes I wonder
will I ever
get him
out
of
my
head.

© J.C.
stolen childhood, predators, monsters, lost innocence... :(
134 · Dec 2019
love expressed
Jayne E Dec 2019
I want to lie against you
my back to your chest
my cheek to your cheek
my head laid
on your shoulders to rest
feel your deft hands
on my hipbones
finger tips on my belly to press
feel you swell beneath me
as skin to skin we caress
my body your blanket
your body my bed
no words between spoken
love expressed in the unsaid


J.C.
Had to stop, or ud keep adding and adding....
134 · Jun 2020
running the spectrum
Jayne E Jun 2020
there is real beauty
in prismatic light
refracted
dew drops
touched by sunlight
On a perfect days dawn
there is real beauty
in ***** rain puddles
pooled
in city sidewalk gutters
an oily rainbow
streaks of colour
running the spectrum
causing a catch of breath
in my throat
caught and fraught
there is real beauty
in the fruit bats
immortalised and suspended
fried on the wire
of Sydney's city power lines
their final graceful swoop
caught and fraught
beautiful
he told me once
I'd never been
more beautiful
to him
salty cheeked
tear stains married with
a fine misted sweat
swollen eyed
flushed still
from our climactic
holy moments
the guttural heart pain
mixed with pure joy
caught and fraught
that last time
before
I had to cut you out of me
like a cancer
tearing me apart
with my own fingers
you killed me
on a daily basis
just to rip me back into life
every sunset and moonrise
resurrecting our love
pinning me to the board
while my wings
still fluttered madly
caught and fraught
smiling you watched on
feeding
the stumbling bumble bee
drops of your bourbon
as you drowned in it
as you drowned out of it
caught and fraught
there is real beauty
in the burning fuse
heartbeats racing
anticipating
the moment it all blows apart
I gather all the tiny pieces
of my poems you tore apart
angry
at the time
the time that they stole
from being with you
obsessed
possessed
black magic
flipping the switch
caught and fraught
I'm making a glue
from my tears
and my blood
you spilled
so I can rebuild myself
a papier mâché life...

but that's another poem
for another day

©J.C.
134 · Jul 2020
in your eyes
Jayne E Jul 2020
In your eyes
lost
flecked
with amber fire
igniting
my fuse
burning
burning
burning
for your touch
in your eyes
found
deeply sensual
rich forest floor
ground
anchoring
me
to your
wanting body
in your eyes
sparking
falling
falling
falling
in deep with you
drawn into
this vortex
you are
my magnetar
locked in twin orbit
giddy with love
electrified with desire
as you spin me
higher
higher
higher
pulse thundering
in my head
my skin on fire
the brush of your lips
graze of your teeth
stroke of your
fingertips
feeding
breeding
consumed by
an illuminated
desire

when it is
so intensely charged
this way
when all sounds
each breath of wind
every colour in the day
serves only
to pull me to you
I burn for you
with a white hot flame
my heartbeats
pound out
your name
with ferocious might
I tremble
certain
your lightest touch
will see me dissolve
into particles
of shimmering golden light
becoming
the fired amber flecks
in your eyes

© J.C.
133 · Jun 2019
I want I need you...
Jayne E Jun 2019
I want to bury my face in the musk of your lovely fuzzy belly
I need you to chart my body guided
by your map of kisses
I want your lovers caress's and how
they turn my legs to jelly
I need to hear your fervered breath feel the beat my heart missses

I want to breathe your scent feel your passion as it does rise
I need to show you my flower bloom see how you bid my colours unfold
I want you to plot your kisses course make landfall between my thighs
I need you to feel my ardour burning hot never cold

I want to feel our bodies connect as one burning like bright ash
I need to touch every inch of you
press my skin upon your skin
I want to give you 50 strokes
delivered by my lovers lash
I need you to lock eyes with mine my love, bodies entwined let's begin.


J.C. "honey-tiger" 07/06/2019.
#desire #lovers #body love #passion #my one true love
133 · Jun 2020
underwater bells (rewrite)
Jayne E Jun 2020
Underwater bells
lingering
echoes
carried in the swells
sunken sirens
sweetly sing
tempting hirens
underwater
bells ring
candles fire
flickering
burning down
to waxy
embered nub
thunder rumbles
lightning flashes
striking through
my dreamscape
kick up against
the undertow
hoping to wake
cool hands
he grips
my ankles
tight
pulling hard
fight the rip
he tries
thinks he might
keep me
here with him
where deep
underwater
bells ring
where
deathly angels
with
silken sweet
voices sing.

© J.C.
suicide, blaming, wasted genius, drowning, ghosts


So, I wrote the original, a couple of days ago, very quickly, on waking from this dream, literally scribbled it out in a minute or two, it didn't feel quite complete, whole, to me, so this is the dream in a smidge more detail...
132 · Jun 2020
golden droplets
Jayne E Jun 2020
thinking about you
with too much
focus
when we are apart
has me
unable to settle
unable to sleep
unable to eat
thinking about
your heat
your kiss
your touch
your skin
pressed
against my skin
those holy moments
of mutual ******
bodies in perfect sync
letting go
together
giving over to
the ferocious
sweet storms
tearing through
our *****
colours bursting
behind my eyes
lost in your sighs
shimmering
golden
droplets of lights
a heat haze
made
just for lovers
my ******
triggered by
your moans
sweet words
of love
and devotion
whispered
against my skin
forever changed
I am adrift
with you
on an ocean of love
blissfully
ruined
for any other
willingly
marooned
on the island
of your love.

© J.C.
132 · Feb 2020
11 months...
Jayne E Feb 2020
11 months


(prelude)
11 sweet months
most would say
1 year, 12 months
has more significance
not so
for us
those double numbers
how they appear
e v e r y w h e r e
softens my heart
in sentimentality
more today
at 11 sweet months


there are still things
about how you give
your love to me
that floor me
my heart
soars
in my chest
at the first sound
of your morning
half asleep voice
gently growling
softly
against me
sweetly murmured
words of love & affection
your deft hands
in loving carress
communicate
desire & devotion
your generous mouth
gifting kisses
so many kisses
my happiness
always
first order of your day
it is still new to me
to be so beautifully loved
stirs me pit deep
feeds the need in me
to love
you
so fiercely
that
you will feel
how I carry you
with me
always
in my heart
as I feel you carry me
moving through the world
going about our day
each in separate ways
measuring the hours
in skipped heartbeats
until together again


the
ascend
followed by
the descend
followed
by the ascend
has always held meaning
for me
waves of emotion
wash over me
carried by your current
blissfully seeking
stolen licks
of your sea foam essence
I could drink you
as an elixir
lose myself completely
in the taste of you
surrender willingly
to the pull of your love
how you push me
lovingly
out past the breakers
your face radiating joy
when I beg
no more
no more
no more
you render me
undone
in a state
of sated bliss
pulse thundering
in my head
myriads of
coloured starbursts
exploding behind my eyes

you are
mischevious
for sure
but always
with sweet love
at the core
I want to lose myself
in your scent
camp out
in our secret fort
for days
with you
as my sustenance
devour you
with kisses
with caresses
whisper
secret incantations of love
against your skin
in those holy moments
of ******
our bodies
our breaths
our beats
joined
as one


your love
how you give it
still surprises me
daily
I catch myself
being carried away
soaring
elevated
divine
elated
sublime...


(epilogue)
11 sweet months
delighting
in the warmth
the tender light
of your love
the significance
of double numbers
ennobled by month

            11
      1  +  1  = 2
   (circra 2(0)2(0)


J.C. 26/02/2020

(Of course my love, I finished this at 2.22am (spontaneously)
For you my love, and how numbers in doubles are everywhere for us, but mostly for how you communicate love, it is my darling, quite sublime.  Thank you for 11 sweet months (mostly) :)
132 · Jul 2020
carry me on your back
Jayne E Jul 2020
carry me on your back
legs wrapped
around your waist
when I am tired
wash my body
lovingly
warm water
cascading
from the shower
of your deconstructed
bathroom
I want to remain
all softened edges
sleepy and quiet
while you attend
to your task
thoroughly
then carry me
again
lay me in our bed
warm clean & happy
I ache to sink deep
into the waters
of your love
never hit the bottom
never ascend
to breathe the air
of the mundane world
outside our bedroom
dissolving
embraced
bouyant
consumed
and enveloped
by your
extraordinary  love
you fill my senses
with a deep joy
the ways
you express your love
for me
In all its
rarified loveliness
unequalled tenderness
with
fiery passion &
sweet devotion
has me ruined
forevermore
for any other.

© J.C.
131 · Apr 2020
It's that time.
Jayne E Apr 2020
It's that time again
in the endless night
when shadows unfurl
and time unbends

it's that time once more
deep in the inky black well
where the empty side of my bed
chasmic yawn slams loves door

It's that time in the night
when the monsters come out
dream creeping and steeping
no escape try as I might

It's that time the witching hour
where my past is now present
old ghosts come to torment
each breath taken tastes sour

It's that time hands stop dead
moments freeze like sloe ice
shadows moving in the dark
haunting thoughts in my head

It's that time in this night
only one thing can make it right
not out of mind yet out of sight
your loving arms holding me tight.

© J.C.
nightmares, haunting memories, insomnia, love, missing you, needing your touch.
130 · Nov 2019
you are not gone...
Jayne E Nov 2019
you are not gone from me
still constant
your love remains
yet an imposed shift
the fire break gap
pushing space between us
an emotional wall
a memory trawl
evokes strange
unwelcome feelings
frets shivers
begins a
f
     a
        l
          l
in my chest
she returns
not a stranger
yet estranged
the cuckoldress
revisits
a once in common
address
I hold your heart
within mine
as you hold
my heart dear
I know you are not gone
from me love
I still feel you
between every beat
held caged in my chest
no notice given
or taken
or regrets
perhaps
a returning
temptress
hits that feeling
again
of
falling
falling
falling
within my chest
my mind cursed
with overactive
imagining
seeing
she employing tactics
static crackles
inside my head
take the hit
the pull of you
felt belly deep in the pit
the cold empty
side of the bed
taunts
then taints
twists longings knife
after a few swift
sliced precision bites
you are not gone from me
logic puts up a good fight
when the heart is in so deep
and falls the long cold night
thoughts simmer
they steep and creep
you are not gone from me
love.

© J.C.
128 · May 2020
missing you...
Jayne E May 2020
woken by sultry rain
droplets big fat splots
upon my window pane
feeds the need
to feel your skins warmth
next to me
in nights dark pitch
knowing
at my fingers reach
you are here
closer, so near
not kept from me
by swirling vast seas
It hurts
pulling your pillow
in close
wrapping my body around it
whispering your name
is not the same
as feeling your breath
upon my skin
your touch
that I need so much
the rain falls
on and on
pushes me
through this barren night
til dawns light
breaks me apart
with it tears at my heart.

© J.C.
Covid19's ramifications include keeping lovers apart...
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