I want to reveal
my underbelly
to you
that soft warm
sweet spot
I want to expose
all of my
vulnerable places
to you
trust you'll
not slide the blade in
twist it at the hilt
tearing the silk at its seams
set my world to tilt
I want to get lost
in your forest floor eyes
be mesmerised
by flecks of amber fire
press my belly against
your belly warm
feed the desire deep
so ferociously sweet
like a raging tropical storm
surrender control
give over to it let go
lose myself with you
in the tumble and roll
lean into your swell
not needing to know
where the compass is drawn
float on a current of love
through inked velvet night
to warm golden dawn
I want to flood my senses
with the taste of your essence
imprint my skin with your scent
set you apart
my diurnal rhythms tuned
to the beat of your heart
journey your body
with my lips
my tongue
my body and fingertips
map you with kisses
chart your territories
with caresses
stroke your skin
with my loosened
fallen tresses
shipwreck myself
on the island of your bones
lay my head upon your chest
feel your metronomic pulse
the soothe & rest
of your breath on my brow
breathe you in
as my air
rain kisses on you
everywhere
until my lips bruise
and smart
all pain
ceased to exist
the moment
you gave me
your love
and stole my heart.


© J.C.

voices.

our bodies
once their
quintessential best
thought indefectible
the flourish
of faultless skin
now faintly etched
into the map
of our experiences
we change
shapeshift
rearrange
relax into our form
less perfect
more confident ease
than tempestuous storm

the human voice
though
stays forever
the same

7 years
silence broken
you were 22
again
at first word
spoken
tricked
into hearing you
using pet names
you'd long ago lost
the right to utter
speaking easy
as if none of it happened
still with your
smooth charm
like butter
that silken voice
abstracting my choice
once more

did you
(conveniently)
forget the
slaughter house
you made of our love
left it bleeding out
a good kick and a shove
in the gutter

you pour it on thick
like molasses
oozing
off your tongue
"remember em's?"
"when we were young...
....and in love?"
remember...
"my alpha & my omega
nose & toes
under cover lovers.."

My jaw still clicks
at times
when I'm tense
(like now)
a souvenir
click click click...
as your jaw *****
that
you miss me
that
we should
'get together'...
....'for old times sake'
did you forget
I'm filled with regret
or just miss
some of my bones
to break?

Sunday  morning
+
one bourbon too many
+
a sentimental lament
your bent
=
a return to nervousness
night terrors
& cold panic
for me.

Your voice
just as it was
unchanged
by time
you say so
is mine
forgetting
loves fruit
rotted on the vine
the pull of
your ocean eyes
scented nape
of your neck
the warmth
your body lent
to mine
not enough
to untangle the tendrils
or merge again
the unentwined
good try
but the point now
forever moot
head fuckery
at its best
always was
your strong suit

© J.C.

It's that time again
in the endless night
when shadows unfurl
and time unbends

it's that time once more
deep in the inky black well
where the empty side of my bed
chasmic yawn slams loves door

It's that time in the night
when the monsters come out
dream creeping and steeping
no escape try as I might

It's that time the witching hour
where my past is now present
old ghosts come to torment
each breath taken tastes sour

It's that time hands stop dead
moments freeze like sloe ice
shadows moving in the dark
haunting thoughts in my head

It's that time in this night
only one thing can make it right
not out of mind yet out of sight
your loving arms holding me tight.

© J.C.

I feel you
across the expanse
of the city sleeping
all fallen quiet
big city hum
undercurrent of
industrial buzz
now silent
in lockdown

you
live way way way
away
across town
still
I sense you
in my dreams
crushing in
running me down
still looking for the win
my sleep
your hunting ground
you steep & creep
my affection
no longer yours
so keep
off my astral plane
baby

it's too late
I shut that gate
my heart is
a barren landscape
for you
bears no oasis
there'll be no succour
no comfort
no tenderness
here for you
the cost
of doing it
how you do
I understand
you believed
when you tricked me
into breaking 7 years
of silence
not hearing my voice
not seeing my face
nor smelling my scent
I understand
you believed
your charm
would win me again
but listen up
heed...
your need
is not my need

your voice just as it was
the first time
you whispered my name
tenderly fervent
against my breast
in love
but I remember
the pain
I remember it all
your spectacular fall
from loves grace
keeps a constant pace
with my broken heart beats
paper planes dissolving
in the ***** bath water
no blue sky horizons
or a return
to happy landings
sweet words of love
whispered against skin
this one
you'll have to take it
take it
on the chin
**** it in deep
a serenade to your chagrin
give it up ghost
no scenario here
in which you win


© J.C.

-some ghosts refuse to stay in the past-

Bad habit

the moment
you first sprinkled stardust
in my hair
so tenderly
caressed my cheek
the husky morning light
throwing faint shadows
bed sheets scattered
hearts caught
by surprise
then shattered
into shimmering bright
as pre dawn
had me forlorn
lost in your
sweat
my tears
kissed away
your tongues mixology
feeding back to me
my tears and my ***
breeding
blending
alchemical lust
the birth of
a bad habit
born out of
a good love
this little bird
caught
in your gilded cage
would become
locked out by
your inner rage
as madness descended
four lives
upended
passion
fighting the good fight
biting back
against the strain
of this
            bad
                      bad
                                habit
loves first bloom
birds singing
before the sun rise
you tearing down
all my defences
raw desire
the fire
             the fire
   the fire
in your *****
becoming my ******
scribing incantations
of love
of dreams
of wanting
with your ***
on my belly skin
glistening in the
early morning sun
when did your love
mutate to ownership
passion
become obsession
your misbelief in
imagined transgressions
tearing the silk
at it's seams
then on your knees
begging to

redeem

redeem

redeem

too many
heartbeats
too late
the light snuffed out
stuffing the ****
in loves spout
sweet turned bitter
now
just spit
        spit
        spit
                  it all out
loves lamb slaughtered
throat cut and bleeding out
my teeth & blood
on the floor
of our house built on
'love'
feel my jaw
     crack
           splinter
under strong hands
that once held me
"safe'
'loved' me
wed me
then bled me
dry of all hope
love hanging
choked on the rope
kicking me
to pieces
and me
kicking this
bad
         bad
                   habit

clean.


© J.C.