They kept saying it was going to be okay.

Ma'am, just take a seat. Someone will be right with you.

Fingers loosened their grip,
Breaths became pants,
Tears ran as rivers,
And my mind went blank.

Ma'am, you can't go back there.
Ma'am, just take a seat. Someone will be right with you.

They never said it'd be so...white.
White walls,
White floors,
White ceilings,
White coats,
White faces.

Counting tiles on the floor,
Have to restart because feet keep getting in the way.
But no one ever tells you how quiet it can be.

Ma'am, please. Please. Please take a seat.

I sit.

I wait.

I think about praying,
but I don't know who to pray to anymore,
Because surely this can't be God.

I wait.

I sit.

Ma'am...

I stand.

Fingers tighten their grip.
Breaths slow down.
Tears cease to flow.
My mind is crystal clear.

I know nothing is going to be okay.

And I'm okay with that.

Ma'am...I'm so sorry.

Hands raise of their own accord
and I stop the words I don't want to hear.

My lips whisper
It's okay.

Life is simply an extended period of trying to prove you're not alone.

He picks them up at random
Takes them out
Becomes engrossed in one
Then the next

Finished with them
He dumps them back
Where he found them
A little worse for wear

Humans Are More Barbaric Than Any Animal,
Ever Could Be,
We Lie,
We Cheat,
We Harass,
We Play Little Mind Games,
We ****,
Practically Every Form Of Intelligent Life,
Including Our Own,
Nothing Is Ever Good Enough,
Nothing Is Ever Clean Enough,
Nobody Is Ever Talented Enough,
Nobody Is Acknowledged,
For Their Gifts,
Only Brought Down By Others Saying We Aren't,
Good Enough,
I Envy Animals Because,
Animals Are Straight To Eachother,
If They Dont Like One Another,
They Fight,
They Bite Eachother's Throats Out,
They Tell The Other To Leave,
And Never Come Back,
And They Listen,
But In Human Society,
You Have To Be Nice,
And People Put On That Fake Smile,
Tell You How Beautiful You Are,
Turn Around,
And Talk About What A Mess You Are,
You Have To Share With Them,
Invite Them Into Your Homes,
Pretend You Think They're The Most Amazing,
Person In The World,
Sometimes You Have To Be Nicer To The People,
You Despise,
Then The People You Love,
I'm Not Saying I Wish To ****** Anyone,
I'm Just Venting,
Because I Am Sick And Tired,
Of People Lying To Me,
Just Shut Your Mouth Already,
If You Don't Like Me Tell Me!
I Couldnt Care Less,
About Your Opinion,
Human Society,
Is A Mess,
Human Society,
Has Many Jewels,
But They Are Dusted Over,
From The Dirt Of The Morons,
Human Society,
Has No Natural Selection,
To Pluck Out The Idiots,
If You Ask Me,
I'm Tired Of These People Dimming My Sparkle,
And I'm Sure,
Many Of You,
Feel The Same Exact Way

You wouldn't **** a man
Or **** a woman
Then **** her, normally.
But listen kid
You've got a gun
Have some fun
You're in the army now.

lazy afternoon
meandering through the canals
gondola and gondolier both a touch of the romantic
                                                       ­                             wanting to lose myself
                                                          ­                 in the belly of this beautiful city
                                                            ­                                get so lost i could never get out
                                                            ­                           bottle of vino, a couple of delicate wine glasses

                                                        ­                 eyes only for you, but my ears are Vivaldi’s
                                                      ­                    or just the trilling notes of that old Hindi tune
                                                                ­     with some Italian verses thrown in for good measure
poetry flows here not water
               the ghosts of Byron and Browning haunt them
                                                            ­                     * time must stand still for me
                                                              ­                    as i explore this fantasy*


-Vijayalakshmi Harish
08.10.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish

In the spring, we fall in love; you and me. Together, we stay up all night. We dream of the future, and dissect the past. We wonder how we got here. We decide that we don't care; you and me. Together, that's how it should be. We spend hours lying in your bed, learning the curves and lines of each other's body. We go on dates that we don't call dates, because to put a label on what we are would only stifle things. We're not really sure what this is anyways, but we like it; you and me. Together, we think we are unstoppable. You are not normal, but that's okay, because neither am I. Our instabilities and insecurities balance each other. We are like yin and yang; you and me. Together, we are whole.

In the summer, you and I grow weary. Apart, we drift away. We slash at each other with words and fists. We fight and make up, and fight and don't make up. You and I are breaking. Apart, we start to shatter. The heat drives you mad, and you take it out on me. I get restless in the warmth, and begin to fly away. You and I are still together, but the cracks are beginning to show. Further and further apart we go. We stretch until one of us simply has to snap. You break first, diving head deep into your insanities, and breaking me in the process. You and I have gotten completely out of hand. Apart, perhaps we can heal?

In the fall, I attempt to heal myself. I do not hear from you, I do not wish to. I spend time putting myself back together again. I am a puzzle, and even I, am unsure of what the final picture will be. I try to pick myself up from the mess that you have made of me. I still have heard nothing from you, and I am still grateful for that fact. You have wounded me deeply, perhaps deeper than anyone knew. You have made your scars on both my heart and soul. I spend time doing things for myself, so that I can remember who I am. There is still silence from you; I do not miss you. I have begun to learn to live again. I even begin to flirt with the idea of love again. I believe that I have finally found myself again. I hear from you at last, a simple message; I am glad, because I have missed you as a friend.

In the winter, we come together again. We set boundaries, and know that we can still be friends. We start to talk again, little things, at first. But soon, we are telling all our secrets again. We are closer than normal friends, but then again, when have we ever been normal? We have no demands of each other this time around. The only thing we ask is a pair of ears to speak to. And together, we oblige. We spend time in public places, never alone, where we can't get into trouble. It is nice for us to share with each other again. We are more than we could have ever dreamed of being. But we still are not lovers, nor are we in love; this is a good thing. As winter begins to thaw, we grow closer and closer. And finally on the cusp of spring, we kiss, and the cycle begins anew.

A ship sails
Heading nowhere;
Leaving nowhere.
Just a simple ship, going out on the sea,
Where the calm, smooth, glistening waters create
Waves over a bottomless world of darkness.
So many adventures and mysteries, so many new things to be discovered,
So many dreams and hopes, never to be fulfilled.

The sea is a place that asks all, tells all.
The sea is contradictory, ironic,
But always, the sea is listening to those that understand it.
As the waves crash upon the shores, the sea chants one thing:
“Believe. Dream. Hope.
Believe. Dream. Be.”

I say hello, and how are you
She says the weather's warm

I say I like your hair that way
She says approaching storm

I speak to her, she speaks to me
In our special way

I expect you see her too
Even down your way

She half turns and strokes the sky
I give a little sigh

Shows off her huggy little curves
I'm thinking  my oh my

She waves her hand across the map
Talking high and low

Where she goes to afterwards
I don't really know

I think I'm in love with the weather girl
I see her every day

And that for now is really all
I have left to say