'All swim' whistle,
water sent splashing,
the chaotic entrance of youth.

Adults scramble in the melee
while a man I do not know
bumps into me,
his hand down my shorts.
Confusion.

I ride home in shame.
Silent. Burning. Shame.

I am only 10
and tend to wince
at loud voices,
and right and wrong
depend upon the
time of day and
how many beers
my father drinks.

Country roads whip by,
sweet corn in the wind,
I watch the sun set
over the hill.

Once it's gone I know.

There will be no redemption,
 no reclaiming of innocence.

That shame feels like swallowing hot coals is all too familiar.

Mother says, “You don't look sick to me",

it's her answer for everything.

The chain of time is broken
The links have been cut
Infinity is what is left
At first there is exultation,
Infinite possibilities for travel, love, self improvement!
Realisation dawns,
What's this all been for?
All the threats of death, banished
Are we left with peace?
War becomes pointless.
We'll fight until we lose interest
Our hope has vanished
Realising that we needed an end point
A goal to work towards
We fear death but death is the only constant
We fear hell but a life with no direction is hell.

Ninguém pode aliviar a tristeza que sinto
ou me lembrar do que era antes de ser tudo isso
sou retalhos do que nunca fui
do que queria ser
uma sucessão incansável de quases
de despedidas
de esquinas que me lembram os piores dias da minha vida
há algo que me afasta de mim
um peso em cima do meu peito que não me deixa sair
nada grita mais que o silêncio entre as músicas que escolho pra dormir
e eu dormi a vida inteira