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cutting your **** off is not something you fail at.  when I ask you where it’s at you will first be sad to have a mouth at all and second say legend has it.  my thinking is trying to think in a helicopter.  you climb a tree to drop a rifle from it.  I have so many real friends and I call them my gay odds.  and so many dreams that these waking hours pass only to embellish them.  if there is one thing it is Elliott Smith the name of a hungry deer.
Five parts determination
four parts application
three parts perspiration
two parts supplication
one part trepidation.

Fifteen parts of adoration.
 Oct 2013 Ryan Topez
Austin Skye
Dark jeans. Deep blue.
Blue V neck. Light hue.
Silver chain. Curling too.
Golfing hat. Grey as you.

This is how I dress tonight.  
Not who I am.

So ponder your words
Before you slam
The doors that could
Lead to something new.
It could last a night
Maybe even two.

Who knows what happens
After I simple smile
Or a quick hello
Or it's been a while.

Take the chance
While it's here
And hold this moment.
It is very dear.

After tonight it is gone.
Like the things I wear
Left on the floor.

Do not disregard my kindness.
It's not a chore.
 Oct 2013 Ryan Topez
Angie
Impact
 Oct 2013 Ryan Topez
Angie
Look to my right
Headlights
Too close
Too fast
"No"

Eyes shut
I am spinning
And so many sounds
I don't remember
And then
My name, yelled
"Are you okay?"
"No"

Glass in palms
The crawl to safety
leaving me ******
And I am
in your arms
And I feel
Everything
"Are you okay?"
"I don't know"

And then
Sitting down
Touching
Cringing
My head
My thigh
My chest
My back
My arm
"Are you okay?"
"I don't know"

Walking
Stopping
Just to breathe
My hand is warm
In yours
"Are you okay?"

Porch light
Desperate search
Found keys
Dogs barking
Your lips
On mine
I stop
"Are you okay?"
I feel
Everything

Cold
White
Ambulance
But not mine
You're fine
Take this
Take those too
Cold showers
No exercise
"Are you okay?"
Good.
Go home"

And later
At night
Awake
I finally answer

"No"
Okay so I truly got in an accident last Monday. A man ran a stop sign and smashed into our car. I now have a lot of internal bruising, a concussion, and a bit of insomnia. So I decided to try and write about my experience, and this is what came out.
ive got no time for time
i spent more than I had
living a lifetime
with no costs spared
age is a ruin
best be prepared
for deaths demolition
without a care in the world
Violets heavy with the night rain
As the fatigued stars start to spill
I catch them
Filling my pockets with dreams
The rain pours, and beats the ground,
like when our feet beat the concrete,
and we stumble around,
without a sense of guidance,
the sirens in the distance alert,
and break the calm night silence,  

we had nowhere to be,
but we found a place,
an overgrown garden to write poems,
and appreciate the candles warm embrace,
and the moon's glow,

watch the city life below, from the roof top sights,
while the intoxicated stagger,
under the street lights,
where's the message in the bottle they were looking for?
to show them a way,
"oh well, we'll try again tomorrow night"
out front the liquor store,
on a rainy Sunday,
 Oct 2013 Ryan Topez
Annie
Illuminate my eyes with impossible outcomes
oh, my imaginary solidarity
someday our angles will tangle
and we will be rounded
worn down to sawdust
from the friction of
rubbing elbows
but not today
no not today

I wanted to be the sky
I wanted my molecules to
terminate and permeate
into mush
I wanted many things
that I could not have
and looking down upon
this sewer city with
lights and rain puddles
I realize how far
from the ground I am
how far from the ground I
have come

sandy shores and seashell hands
i'm struggling with the idea
of rolling up my trousers
tucking away the clean fabric
or letting the dust collect
onto the seams and hems
into the creases
around my eyes
I do not want those things
that I can not contain

and I see myself free-falling upwards
into the ocean of seaweed and pearls
if only I dared more
if only I tried

oh I wanna try
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