Shine a light into my darkness
This chill needs your warmth,
A beacon of assurance
through this thick despondent fog
My heart, irrational, refuses to abandon hope  
The slightest candle flame
Promise that love might remain
Would spark a smile, fire my heart heat,
Settle me, empower me
wandering through the nighttime dreams
You fill the missing pieces with your peace
when I know your love beams on me,
when your love sign shines
I can see a way home.

Suffocated
I can’t breath
Held in his vice grip
Controlled

LET ME MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS!

bursting with repressed
ME-ness
I need to BE
(not controlled)

Just the thought of you
Brings much-needed peace
In this moment of glistening pupils
So, thank-you
For your healing presence
In my heart.

If I built a door would you enter,
or deadbolt from your side,
cross it double with thick iron bars,
& lock me out again?
I ask because
I’ve long been taking measurements
& cutting wood…
I will not build a door into a room where I’m not wanted.
I do not wish to trouble you (The One I Love)
with doorways undesired.
This wall is thick, the doors just open into nowhere,
or open not at all…
Maybe I can build no more than just a skylight
through which the wish of hope might not even shine…
Still, I’ll cut & measure.
Perhaps, Someday I’ll find something Open by your hand…
or perhaps that, too,
is not in the future
…
for now, secretly I hope that Nashville
is a failed connection
and that the next
offers something real.

I miss you so!
Your heart pulse fails to beat
on my spirit’s lonesome drum
Your breath no longer brushes my soul
with happy peaceful hues
Where did you go? & why?
My longing is lonely for your aura,
lonely for your loving care & desire.
Would you not hold me
in your heart and mind tonight?
I miss you
as always!

The tiniest flicker of…
Fluttering ember, a possibly maybe might be Hope
Sparked for a second within my tonight
Rapidly darkened by doubts and reason
So many maybe’s…variables won’t align
There’s not enough time
Hope smothered by darkness of
“Unlikely”
No tears I shed as my mind sped to
“Is mother losing her mental acuity?”
& questions of “What’s next?” preside
as sorrow hides beneath plans of what should be.
So what I wish would be again slides
to despair…
Even if I am, you won’t likely be there…
Anyway, what’s an hour to eternity?
an eternity of longing