Oh, they think they know.
While second guessing at best.
Pure speculation about us.
About our friends with benefits.
Without understanding just how deep it is.

We see the smiles.
We hear the giggles.
And notice the winking of the eyes.
And they still don't realize just what our friendship truly is.
While they try to materialize to themselves our friends with benefits relationship.

While they think it's ******.
Maybe even physical.
None gives it a guess that it's mostly emotional.

When we need a laugh.
When we need a listening ear.
That's when our friends with benefits appears.

When we need advice.
Whether it's good or bad.
That's when our friends with benefits kicks in.

We let them speculate.
We let them make their stupid mistakes.
Even when we could straighten out their wrongs.

All because our friends with benefits is so much more.
Then physical or ******.

There's a reason there's a path outside your door
that leads to a road
that leads to an interstate,
that leads to an airport.

And there's a reason that planes fly from that airport
to one near here.

Same reason that airport has a road
that leads to a highway
a highway that they are repairing as we speak
that leads to my town
to a path that leads to my door

And its not just coincidence.

Any more than its coincidence that you are reading this.

I miss you

My heart is being torn

And fear has blossomed

But I love you

And that's impossible to change.

So for now

Know that when I say I miss you

I'm actually say

How badly I wish you were here.

Normalicy is living up to a bigger name
Unattainable in all the right ways
A bitter sweet dream that you can't help but
Reach for.

It is a false sense of security on a "normal" day
And the crushing weight when something goes wrong
Knowing you'll never be normal
As long as you worry

Anxiety is your least favorite friend
But somehow your closest
It’s a title you try to wear proudly
Claiming “titles don’t define me”

But somehow the symptom list consumes you
With every “please don’t do that”
And you’re sinking deeper with “it’s not that big of a deal”
You’re drowning when they do it anyway

Anxiety is a trigger list longer than a prescription name
And missed phone calls everyone’s used to
Knowing you’re the disappointment as plans fall apart
A broken heart when they just quit calling

It’s  your ticking time bomb on when you’ll be fired
When people will leave and you don’t try to convince yourself that they wont anymore
Because everyone does
It’s easier to leave than to help and to understand

It’s the toxic part of you that you try to hide
Cover it with bandaids
And hope they ignore the radioactive poison through your veins
And you’re just trying to feel like you’re not poision

It’s an IM box that understands and a parent that doesn’t
Knowing you’re not alone but feeling it anyway
Because when you’re choking for air and getting weird stares
You’re alone

She's there for me
Emotionally
Physically
Mentally
And she pleases me
Intellectually
Visually
Sexually
So I'm glad I
Have my
Ally.