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Roisin Sullivan Dec 2014
A nor'easter is building
Inside of me.
It howls with rage,
With loneliness, with boredom.

Each day it's getting stronger;
Harsh winds whipping,
Sea waves crashing.
It wants to go home. Let it.
Roisin Sullivan Jan 2014
We aren't Bonnie and Clyde
You aren't my Romeo
To my Juliet, nor
Are we Cinderella
And Prince Charming. We aren't
Perfect or always kind
But I wouldn't want it
To be another way
Because this works for us.
You don't put me on a
Pedestal and expect
Me to be your savior.
And I look to you for
Support instead of just
Shutting you out as I
Would normally do in
Cases like this, simply
'Cause I have faith in you
And I have faith in us.
We're not a fairytale,
However, I like this
Reality just fine.
Roisin Sullivan Jun 2016
I think the rage is gone now.
I feel clean
Like fresh laundry.

My moody storms are over.
I'm still now
As a mountain.

The tears have completely dried.
I am wind
Blowing through sand.

I sit in an oasis
Waiting for
The next big storm.
Roisin Sullivan Jul 2014
For the first time in my life
I felt ashamed
Of where I came from,
And where I live.

And the worst part is
I can't tell you why.
You'd laugh it off and say
It's only money.
Roisin Sullivan Jan 2014
Well, darling, we've surpassed 3 a.m.
And 4 a.m....5 a.m....and 6...
Talking about our life together,
Only theoretically of course,
And I haven't freaked out.  Even when
You said the word "marriage," I didn't
Blink an eye and I took it in stride.

And when you said "children," I smiled;
An image of dark haired babes screaming,
Us two standing and laughing because
We just don't know what the **** to do.
My hair would be frazzled, hoisting one
On my hip as I sing lullabies.
And our toddler would be sitting
On your lap, chattering as your eyes
Widen, overwhelmed with her questions.
How I love your dark beautiful eyes.

I don't picture a white picket fence
With a manicured lawn and flowers
But I envision the two of us
Becoming older and sassier.
We are infinite for a while
Until I wake up one fateful day
And I realize that you have passed on.

But I gather the grand-kids around
And with a glimmer in my eye, I
Tell our story sparing no details
Because someone has to remember
When I am dead and gone from the world.
And when I close my eyes for the last
Time, I smile and say: "Remember,
Darling, when we were just pretending?"
And my soul will depart my body,
Find and join yours in our own heaven.

So answer me and please be honest;
Baby, will you live this dream with me?
Roisin Sullivan Jul 2014
You climbed inside my skin
And made me promises
I know you'll truly keep.
Roisin Sullivan Dec 2015
I looked outside and
The sky was on fire.
Not a vague omen,
But a promise

Of what is, what was
And what is to come.

I looked inside and
My soul was a pyre.
Not a funeral,
But sacrifice

Of what is, what was
And what is to come.
Roisin Sullivan May 2014
I look in the mirror
And all I see now are
Black holes threatening to
Swallow my red-rimmed eyes.

I never moved with grace
But my body tremors
More than it ever did,
Thinking of unseen fears.

I reach with my fingers
Towards my old reflection
To discover the tips
Are now cracked and bleeding.

Hollow shell, hollow shell.
I am losing myself.
Every step that I take
Destroys my sanity.
Roisin Sullivan Aug 2013
They're there again
                  Staring at me,
                  Mocking me.
The thin lines angrily weave
Through the underside of
Her slightly tan arm.

"It's fine, it's nothing"
                 Hiding her arm,
                 Her poor arm.
But I can still see them
Glaring at me by
The light of the fire.

Does anyone else notice?
                 Other than me,
                 Little me.
Unable to prevent her pain
Silently, I weep as I watch
Balloons float into the night
Roisin Sullivan Aug 2014
I sailed across the vast sea
To escape my many woes.
It did not occur to me
That here there would still be foes.
Roisin Sullivan Jan 2014
I still find it strange, driving past your house
In winter, yes, but more so in the heat
Of summer...I can taste it...I can smell
The smoke from barbecues and the chicken
Nuggets we ate, chlorine staining our shirts,
The hint of rain on the wind, the heat of
The earth as our toes sunk into the ground.
I can hear lawn mowers, gears clicking as
We rode our bikes; if I listen closely,
The pounding of waves off in the distance.  
I feel the grass tickling my feet as
We lay on the ground looking up at the
Blue sky and puffy white clouds, which swiftly
Deepened into purple with dots of light,
Leaves brushing my skin as autumn approached.
I have no problem remembering these
Senses, but all I see is you and the
Sunrise reflected in your blue eyes and
The way your mouth curved when you laughed and smiled.
I see a lifetime of what was and a
Future of what could have been if you had
(If only, if only) stayed by my side.
Roisin Sullivan Dec 2014
Sometimes I still think about
Running away; tropical
Shores or breathtaking mountains.

I wouldn't even mind not
Seeing the sun again if
Your shadow was blocking it.
Roisin Sullivan Nov 2014
I see you staring at me
The clear statement in your eyes:
"You're sick, you're sick"
Words unsaid, but deeply meant.

And then the winning question:
"Have you taken your pills yet?"
Suspended there
Like you have the right to ask.

As if that is the reason
We keep having these issues,
These creeping doubts,
In our claustrophobic lives.

Because I've taken my pills.
Swallowed them like tasty sweets
Always hoping
That they'd get caught in my throat.

No, it isn't the issue,
They always do their duty.
It's time to face
That we are the **** problem.
Roisin Sullivan Jan 2014
Roll over my waves and
                                  Sail ashore.
Let the wind take you home
                                  And rest, love.
Sway in my harbor and
                                  Drop anchor.
Warm yourself on the sand,
                                  Sleep awhile.
Go on, forget your cares;
                                  You're safe, love.
Take off your boots, darling.
                                  Come to me.
Can you hear me singing?
                                  Now kiss me.
Ignore the fluid cold,
                                 That's nothing.
Aren't you tired of life?
                                  I'll free you.
Listen to my song, love.
                                  Stop breathing.
Roisin Sullivan Nov 2014
I want to rip my skin off
               And crawl into someone else's.
Roisin Sullivan Jul 2014
Wind caught her hair
Driving the car full speed ahead
Windows all down
As the landscape twisted and dipped.

The sun blazed hot
Killing flowers, insects, and things
By the roadside.
So much death but no one noticed.

Too occupied
With their individual lives
They soaked up warmth
And paid no mind to smaller things.
Roisin Sullivan Jun 2017
A child of the sea I'll forever be,
Diving between waves of emotion.
One minute I'm riding high on a crest
Only to drown in salt water the next.
If only there existed a potion
For smoother sailing on this churning sea.
Roisin Sullivan Mar 2014
Finally.
I can hear birds chirping in the trees.
At long last.
The sun is starting to hear my pleas.
Roisin Sullivan Dec 2014
I hardly think of you now;
It's incredible.
I lived and breathed you,
Swallowed your words like chocolate,
But now you're just a small stain
Hidden in the folds
Of some old bed sheets
I never use anymore.
Roisin Sullivan Jun 2016
I saw stardust in your hands
As you slipped away
Smiling to yourself
Moving beyond earthly things.
P.S.
Roisin Sullivan Dec 2013
I've forgotten how dark winter can be.
I've forgotten what it's like drifting in
And out of reality and my dreams.
To be completely honest, I'm starving.
Though my heart is open wide for friendship
And love, I feel as if I receive none;
Not in this town filled with ghosts and demons.

I've forgotten what it's like to lie in
Bed with no hope for heat or restful sleep.
Insomnia infecting my tired
Mind, I walk the halls of my empty house.
Pale, I'm little more than a ghost myself.

I live two lives in this body and my
Other, more preferable one is so
Very far away, it seems like a dream.
Did I ever feel your arms around me?
Your warm breath stirring my hair as you slept?
Did I ever wake up to your kisses
Or your sleepy smile so close to mine?

Maybe it's just that the hour is late,
And that I have not received proper sleep.
Maybe it's just the cold freezing my soul
Or maybe it's me feeling things too deep,
But I'm starving with no one to feed me.
Roisin Sullivan Nov 2013
I sat with you
Among the books
That are filled with
Words unspoken.

Concentrating
On your studies,
I couldn't help
But stare at you

And secretly
Wish that you would
Look up at me
And study me
In the same way.

And then you did,
Making me blush
As you remarked
On my speech and
My new hair part.

Noticing at
Times I can't deal
With people and
Telling me that's
More than ok.

But even if
You neglected
To notice me,
I really think
That would be fine.

Because I'd still
Be completely
At liberty
To study you.
Roisin Sullivan Apr 2014
Like the sun bursting from beneath the clouds
Or stars exploding in space, I feel light
And energy from all the particles
Of the universe. The salt of the sea,
Dirt underneath my feet, dust on the wind,
The exhausted breath of my ancestors.
It has all been concentrated in me,
In this moment, so that I can capture
Greatness in the palms of my two small hands.
I can see supernovas in my mind,
Both lovely and melancholy at once.
So I transfer this to ink and paper;
Productivity banishing sadness.
I don't want this feeling to ever end.
Roisin Sullivan Sep 2018
Light breaking through the clouds.
I sit with my dog on my lap,
My cat curled by my head
And an autumn breeze blowing in.

There’s no sound but breathing.
Smoke from incense curls in the air
Joining steam from my tea
Smelling of roses and jasmine.


The temple is at peace.
My mind and my body are not.
I sit at the altar
Praying my thoughts will burn away.
Roisin Sullivan Dec 2013
Once I thought we'd be together
When we were younger; forever
Entwined by secrets and friendship.
Never thinking about hardship,

The difficulty of growing;

It's definitely not your fault
But I still blame you by default
Because the guilt does not belong
With me and I have done no wrong

**Not loving you as I once did.
Roisin Sullivan Sep 2013
I stared at the wall
Not an actual wall
But 'twas a wall nonetheless
Built up from the ground in hatred
And bitterness, it divided us
And buried what could have been, deep inside.

They wrote on the wall
(Not actually though)
And graffitied some harsh words
Amongst paintings of lewd gestures.
I leaned back and watched it all unfold
I watched as this new art form came to life.

I looked at your face
Not your actual face
But it was you all the same
Floating right in front of my eyes
Laughing and mocking me with your friends
The very same friends that used to be mine.

Lady of Shalott,
I'm being dramatic,
But I'm half sick of shadows.
Good thing you showed me your true self
So I wouldn't make the same mistake
And leave my safe tower for a stranger
Roisin Sullivan Nov 2013
I used to have a swing-set
Set up underneath the tree
In the green years of my life
I'd play on it 'til I'd sweat.

Even now I still recall
The sweet exhilaration
Of climbing higher, higher,
Until my body would fall.

I can't count how many dreams
I would live through that swing-set.
Rest assured, I thought them all
Underneath the sun's bright beams.

But then it happened one day
That the swing-set disappeared.
All my dreams were forgotten;
Ended were my days of play.

I do wish I could return
At times to those summer days,
The golden days when the most
Dreadful thing was a sunburn.

But instead I am left here
To linger in the twilight
Growing cold and immobile,
As winter slowly draws near.
Roisin Sullivan May 2014
Today I wanted
         To get high off of you;
         But I guess I wasn't
The drug you needed.
Roisin Sullivan Jan 2014
I don't know what triggers it.
It could be the darkness,
A single word spoken,
A faint scent in the air,
Images burned in my eyes.

I only know that it shoots
Me without fair warning
With a force so strong
It knocks me off my feet
Leaving a critical wound.
Roisin Sullivan Feb 2015
I tumbled into love with you


And now I'm slowly
Crawling my way out.
Roisin Sullivan Mar 2014
I've been walking, as of late,
In a twilight realm filled with
Dancing fairies and cruel fate.
They all told me it was myth.

But I've found it on my own;
A world that doesn't conform
To a cage made of white bone
And creates a whole new norm.

To you it might seem that I'm
Just wandering aimlessly,
Wasting the passage of time,
I did once, so famously.

However this is not true,
I love spending time under
Skies made of sapphire blue,
Topaz, and other plunder.

In this world I see so much;
I feel so alive, vital.
And here, everything I touch
Livens, becomes bountiful.

I want to stay forever
In this forest of sweet dreams
And lovely hope.  However,
Soon I must awake to screams.
Roisin Sullivan Aug 2013
Two trees they stood far apart
Across the waves of grass.
And although these trees grew apart
The two became friends fast.

Until two men had decided
That there must be a line
And these trees should be divided
Would happen to be fine.

Eventually, arose a wall
And the men were content
The trees could not be seen at all
Pleased with good effort spent.

The years passed by and time went on
The two men aged and died.
But the two trees remained fond
And every fall they cried

Meanwhile the trees grew and grew
Spreading out their branches
When one day there came something new
And what were the chances?

That pollen drifted from the tree
And came to the other
Caressed it in the warm spring breeze
Like an eager lover.

In the summer a tiny sprout
Had grown near to the wall
Each day it grew more stout
But it neglected to grow more tall.

The days and weeks and months passed by
Until the tree grew strong
And all three trees were intertwined
Where all of them belonged.

The great wall crumbled, then it fell
Just as the three trees swayed.
All three let out a joyful yell
As none there were dismayed

But time passes as per always
And winter came at last
The two trees passed into a phase
Where neither tree could last.

But the youngest one did not fall
Instead it grew *****
By far the greatest of them all
But doesn't love have that effect?

And then one day a tree did grow
A place along the way.
So graceful did her branches flow
Always ready to play.

Two trees they stood far apart
Across the waves of grass;
And although these trees grew apart
The two became friends fast.
Roisin Sullivan Aug 2013
I want to know when
                            Exactly when
The beat of the drum
                            Had turned into
The beat of my heart
                            Trying to flee.


Please explain to me
                            how smooth twirling
And energetic
                           leaps through the air
Has now turned into
                           leaden horror.


When did the music
                            Lose its power
To inspire me
                            And let me dance
But instead make me
                            So dead inside?
Roisin Sullivan Oct 2014
In the dark clouds approaching,
I see deep sadness.
In your dark, clear eyes,
I see only the warm sun.
Roisin Sullivan May 2014
I'm starting to feel
Vitality
Rushing through
My veins.

My heart beats again
Like drums of war
Refusing
To yield.

A new sun rises
Bathing me in
Restoring
Bright light.

An old feeling wakes.
I think it's hope
Coursing to
My heart.

It will be time soon
To take back what
Was once mine;
My life.
Roisin Sullivan Feb 2014
We are the static on TV,
Wind howling through pipes,
Ice on the river,
Thick branches cracking.

We are the cold ocean at night,
Tightness in your chest,
Hail hitting the roof,
The empty silence.

"What happened to the other girl?"
I have become We.
"But where is she now?"
Still here; We are Her.
Roisin Sullivan Feb 2014
My insides have been ripped out
Entrails lying ****** on the floor.
Worthless, worthless, I know.
I've been immobilized,
Curled on my bed, hands raised to my head
Trying to block out the screaming;
My own or the voices?
I can't tell anymore.
We are One.

Everything I touch withers and dies,
And I was surprised I hadn't yet
Since I grip myself so tightly
In order to keep it together.
But now I know I'm Death itself.
Guilt is my burden to bear as
I watch the light fade from their eyes.
We are Death.
Roisin Sullivan Sep 2018
I have something growing
Inside of me.
Rooted in my belly,
Upwards flowing.

A **** conquering all,
It clogs and chokes,
Thick, broad, and strong like oaks,
While tending flaws.
Roisin Sullivan Jan 2014
The nights are getting shorter,
The air no warmer,
But I know summer's coming
And you're still with me.
When sweat starts to bead my skin
And I come alive,
I'll take you to the meadow
Where I used to play
And we'll dance with the fireflies.
I'll show you the lake
Where my heart first broke in half
And we'll dance there too
Because I'm so **** happy
With you by my side.
I'll drive you around my town
And tell you stories
'Cause I want you to know me
Like no one else does.
See me underneath it all;
Behind the cold mask
And my empty confidence.
But what I want most
Is for you to see how much
I deeply love you.
Roisin Sullivan Feb 2014
I dance around in my room for a bit
Waltzing with the bear
Mi abuelita lovingly sent me.
Pure white with a red
Bow and a smile as bright as Florida skies
On a summer's day,
I wrap its arms around me and pretend
It's enough comfort.
Roisin Sullivan Jan 2014
White ink spills onto white paper.
Not the biggest of travesties
However you still know that it
Happened and you can't help but mourn
The loss of a prized possession
Even though it was completely
Useless to begin with.  But it
Doesn't matter because it was
Yours and it's been taken from you,
By your own doing, nonetheless,
But now you begin wondering
Why you used to cherish something
Of so little value to you.
Each time you tried to dip your pen
Into the ink you were forced to
Recognize that it would not help
In creating masterpieces.
Just like putting perfume on a
Flower or using a flashlight
Underneath the sun's rays, why would
You use something so trivial
In the shadow of another's
Majesty?  There's no use crying
Over it now.  Like spilled milk, it's
Gone.  Now just breathe and let it go.
Roisin Sullivan Apr 2014
It starts, at first,
Like a small itch
That's easy to
Simply ignore.

But soon begins
To cause me pain;
Persistent and
Burning my skin.

Isolated
In the start, the
Sharp, searing fire
Licks my body,

Then quickly spreads
Across my hills
And deep valleys.
Untamed wildfire.

I can't put it out,
With indifference,
Desolate and
Cruelly chilly.

For my passion
Fuels the flames of
Pictured despair
So real to me.
Roisin Sullivan May 2014
Lying on my back
I stretch out my hand,
My fingers creeping
Across my bed, running into fabric.

I grip it tightly
For a brief moment,
Pleased I found your shirt,
Before realizing you are miles away.
Roisin Sullivan Jun 2014
i think....
     um i think...
i think that women sometimes...
are...You know...trapped...

maybe because of...
         the words we speak,
the way we frame language,
our...pauses...

or perhaps, it's our, like,
          little inflections?
or the way we give
You respect.

but just because
          we do this
doesn't mean that we don't
have strong opinions.

it doesn't indicate
          that we're dumb
or don't respect ourselves.
it means "this is the way we talk"

and that's all.

— The End —