Yes, I am sad that I pushed you away.
I regret the things I did to you, and the way I made you feel.
For what I put you through.
I feel ashamed of the choices I made.
But I can't change that.

I am hurt, because I miss you.
Because I love you.
I've been wallowing in my own sadness and depression.
I'm going to get help.
But I owe it to myself to let you go.
I'm not saying it will be easy, or that I might wake up tomorrow and not still have these feelings.
I'm been trying to push these feelings away, instead of letting them in.

I forgive myself.
I forgive you.

I don't know what's scarier , the kids in their costumes. Or the thought of being without you.

Where has the time gone grandpa ?
Your hair has gone from jet black to salt and peppered.
Did I really miss out on that much?

I guess it has been almost ten years since I last came down for more than a couple days.
I had only been seeing you in the summer , those 3 day escapes on the lake.
Now that I've been working with you for a couple weeks, I can see the wear of all the hard work you've done.

I may have missed out on a lot.
But, now I'm here.
Hoping to make up for missed time.

The souls awake at four in morning,
Are usually missing someone.
Or trying to fill that void that's left when that someone leaves.
Such a sad time, isn't it ?
The worse part is they might not even know it.
But, how can you blame yourself if they were the ones to leave?