Searched high and low
No footsteps or trace of her
She ventured of into the unknown
I lost her without realizing
She let go
My hand so far outstretched
I blindly grabbed into the crowds
Caught only dust
And the scent of her perfume
A lovely goodbye
I dreaded for so long
I held her from birth
In my very own infant hands
Watched her grow
Ran around the yard so many times
We left a pathway so pops didnt have to mow
Swimming together at Papa's
Too many memories
And I'll curse the heavens of every religion
For taking her away
For not letting me be strong enough for her
Why did she leave
Why did she let go
What purpose do I have without her
I should have been the one to go
I have nothing
I'll always be this broken man
Longing for another chance
To fight a war I'll never win
But if it means saving her this time
I'll wage war with titans and gods alike
I lost her
Never found myself
I know oneday I'll find her
In that old sandbox we played together in
Or swinging on that old swing set
We had our first kiss on
I know she's waiting
So maybe I should let go
Fall into her arms
Let her hold me like she lost me
While I love her
Till she finds me in the darkness
I created when she left

I'll have respect for myself
A life I can call worthy
A house with a basement
A truck ill have no worries with
One day
Everything will be ok
I'll look back and say I'm glad I survived
I'll thank everyone I met
Remember those who passed
Smoke a bowl and drink a beer
In their honor
I'll look in the mirror
Remember the voices that chanted death
I'll laugh at all the scars
Thinking about the reasons I came out alive
I'll be that guy one day
To have it all
And watch it fade away
Because I woke up

Through countless years
Almost endless days
Thoughts of suicide
Played banjo with my emotions
And here I am at a funeral
Watching people cry and wither
Wilting in their realization
Their beloved is gone
Sad to say
There's no silence in suicide
They'll moarn till they die
Think of ways to off themselves
Gun shots echo
Sounds of nooses tightening
Pill bottles emptying
Bodies dropping
There's no silence in suicide
Death just echoes

I'll be then thousand miles away
Drowning at the bottom of of the sea
The very one you hate me to dive into
Leaving bottles on the shorelines
Of your driveway
When you remember me
I'll just be a face without a name
A man once crawling into bed with you
Calling your name sweeter
With every breath you stole from me
By the time you remember me
I'll be so lost in my own life
I'll have forgotten
How gorgeous your body was
How every day was my birthday
When you said goodmorning
How christmas was every time I called
I sounded like a kid begging to tear open
The first present he saw
It was always you
When you remember me
Youll see that we were meant to be
That forever was worth living
While in each others arms
But you left me to run off with him
And I just heard
He cheated on you with his own step Mother

I've tried a million times
Then tried again
Just to find enough hatred toward you
To find a way to force a goodbye
Yet these emotions
Are nothinng but ghost
Nailed to my mistakes
And I wish sorry fixed it
But even tears I force
Can't spell help me say goodbye
I've tried running
I've ran till my feet bled
Danced in tequila
Paraded through clouds of smoke
Hoping somewhere I'll forget you
I've only managed to forget myself
And the reason why I started trying
Trying to give up on you
It wasn't fear
It wasn't stupidity
I just knew I wasn't good enough
I wrote to you a million times
Never pressed send
Just exited out and locked the screen
I wish I could say goodbye
The way you said it to me
A merry *******
And a happy Go **** Yourself
But I deserved it
I gave up when you started to give in
We met at a crossroad at different times
I still love you
While I know you'll hate me
This is a farewell letter to you
You'll know its you when you read it
I made it clear enough
Seems you were too much of a mystery

Its only 2:05 am
And I havent slept a second
Since 9:00 yesterday morning
The only thing on my mind
Is what to say to you
What more is there to me
I really want you to know
I've told you of the dangerous side of me
I've told you the emotional side
You've seen my complexion
All my faults are truly evident
I've never been more scared
To open my mouth and say hello
Without worrying I'll tell you who I am
I'm a spy
I'm an undercover cop
I'm the prince of some unknown island
I'm Bob Marley's best friend
I'm a zombie
Yeah that works
I'm a zombie not looking for brains
But for the heart beating in your delicate chest
All I want to do is hear it race after ***
And listen to it calm when I tell you all my secrets
As I hold you closer than before I came
Im a heart warming zombie
Only out to infect love in your smile
Happiness in your laugh
And joy in your cheeks
I could tell you how I would do that
But where would the adventure be
When all my secrets of getting you to see
Just how much I care for you
Are spilled marbles on the floor
I'll be your goofball zombie
Walking like the dead into silent screams
Where you'll just be too nervous
To walk out the door
I'll have an audience in my unsuspecting neighbors
They'll know how deep my exploration
Of your fragile frame went
How much gold and diamonds I dug up
When they see you waddling to my truck
Let me stop insinuating I'm good at ***
When I havent ****** in over two months
My zombie ***** are about to fall off
My **** just remains hard when I'm texting you
It seems you've caught the attention
Of everything with a mind in my body
All my senses crave you
I yearn to taste your bubble gum lips
Smell the decadent aroma of lust and perfume
Dancing in harmony on your silken skin
Watch your body unfold
As your clothing collects on the floor
Feel the warmth of your thighs
Gripping tighter to my waist
And even tighter around my shoulders
Hear you melting away in my touch
As each hand reaches further
Rubbing thigh to waist
Waist to shoulders
Shoulders to hair
As fingers intertwine with your curls
Pulling them back exposing pulsating veins
Deep within your neck
Where I'll gently place my lips
And guide them ever so softly
So I won't leave a trace
I'll bite even softer
Just hard enough to make the sensation
Rattle your hips
I'm a heart warming zombie
Only out for you
The last living piece of perfection
Just begging to be explored
By somebody with a Ph.D
In how to drive your body completely insane
Before it even effects your mind
I'm sorry if it seems criminal
But I'm only out for your heart
Bc you managed to leave with mine
I could tell you all my secrets
Yet its so much more fun
When you learn them along the way
I'll never know everything about you
I'll try to make sure you know
Every last thing about me
Just so you know if I'm the man for you
I'm not asking to be your lover
I'm not asking to be your friend
I'm asking only if you'll give me a chance
Show you my hand
Before I even play them
I'm not asking for epic sessions
Of the most intense ***
On nights when we get bored
I'm wanting to know
If this heart warming zombie
I see every morning in the mirror
Can be more than someone you talk to
When everything else loses all interest
I'll take the risk
In destroying walls
Built so many millenniums ago
Thick with brick and steel
Riddled with rust and cracks
I'll bleed as much as I need to
When opening myself to you
Creates thicker scars
Then when I'm just offering dust
To women I'll never see again
Its time this heart warming zombie
Laid down with someone's raw heart
And watched it beat on the walls of your cavity
Tasted all its faults
Listened to its demands
While becoming what it truly desires
I know I'm old and senile at 19
Trying to find the perfect ending to this
Really ****** poem
Jumping all around emotions
I'm just trying to figure out
What to say to you
When all I have left to say
Is a question followed by a statement
I know too **** well
Neither one of is ready to say or hear
I guess I'll end this with an emoji
A simple :* from a zombie
Looking for his princess to be